Quotes

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In-Game, In-Character

Clarence, Do Not Taunt the Infiltrator Demon

Report from Vardamir of Umbar (11 hours, 8 minutes ago) Message sent to everyone in your realm (50 recipients) I tried him once and got spotted...

Then...

Letter from Clarence Harte (just in) Message sent to everyone in the region Ar Mosul (2 recipients) Ah Vardamir, your blade is too slow for my chest. I am not as old as Sinted but quick and alert.

Sir Clarence Harte Marquess of Ar Mosul, Marshal of the Emissaries of Tersea starstar [reply to sender] | [reply to list] | [ignore] | [userdetails] | [give medal: Trust medal Fun medal] | [vulgarity]

And then...my answer...

You set out on a mission to take out Sir Clarence Harte, Marquess of Ar Mosul, Marshal of the Emissaries of Tersea. You manage to sneak into his sleeping quarters unnoticed. Silently, you sneak up on your target, and surprise him. You quickly put him down for good, seriously wounding him before you make your escape. You successfully escape the guards and vanish into the shadows again.

That's for calling me slow...

Sir Vardamir of Umbar (Knight of Perdan)

10th report

"If I were not a noble, I would Point a certain finger up to Ibby and Tuchy !!!!"-Dal van Belhanka

Famous Last Words

Roleplay from Thorson Jorvik
Message sent to Message sent to the Rulers of Beluaterra (21 recipients)
Scout Report (Lacint): Scribe Note

JeanOlivier, you have written your own death sentence. I will have your head if it took me forever.
Thorson Jorvik (Duke of Cteduul)
Approximately 12 minutes later:

Huge Battle Fought (24 minutes ago)
Rumours spread and tales are sung about a huge battle in Cteduul:
Republic of Fwuvoghor vs. Avalon
Estimated combat strengths: 33000 CS vs. 6000 CS
Sir Nezumi Vecchio Ratto, Baron of Norjke is spotted wearing the Splendid Band of Glory.
soulreaver thor (Knight of Wilwau) is spotted wearing the Splendid Ring.
The hero Sir Thorson Jorvik, Duke of Cteduul was killed.
Sir Nezumi Vecchio Ratto, Baron of Norjke was seriously wounded.
Vel'dunin M'suryn'kar (Knight of Lacint, Avalon) was seriously wounded.
Attacker Victory!

High Marshall Tharan's inspirational briefing

Although all seems quit at the front…. Be aware that there is always a period of calmness before the Great Storm breaks out….. So, for everyone who thinks he could take it easy and enjoy the summer sun these days :

……GET THE @#$#@% ON YOUR @#%%$&@# FEET AND REFIT NOW !!!!! ….

Warriors of Carelia, Carry on.

The Third Invasion, BT, on hearing about the Astonishing Book of Necromancy

Report from Jorn Ironborn (6 hours, 52 minutes ago)
Message sent to everyone in your realm (58 recipients)
Battle in Ardmore
Sir Bocephus Biggie, Pontifex of Sint is spotted reading from the Astonishing Book of Necromancy.

WHAT MANNER OF EVIL IS THIS?!?

I see no "Bocephus Biggie" in the scout report of Ardmore! Did anyone who was in the battle see him?

Was he leading the Undead?!? With his Book of Necromancy?!?? A Mortal man, the Pontifex of Sint, sided with Demons and Undead against fellow Men of Blood?!?

I have heard of this Bocephus! I know of the Sint and their Blasphemous, Mad, Evil Gods!!! They have sold their Souls for Trash, and they shall suffer in Hell evermore for their Hideous ways!!!!

I am coming for ye, Bocephus!! I shall cleave thy maggot-ridden skull and swim in thy blood and brains!!!

Sir Jorn Ironborn Arn
Marquis of Avengmil

Letter from Rasputin (6 hours, 50 minutes ago)
Message sent to everyone in your realm (58 recipients)
The Astonishing Book of Necromancy... is that anything like the Big Book of Necromancy? I had that one when I was a child. Oh, how I loved coloring in the drawings.

Rasputin Dolohov
Marquis of Mio Dupakiv

Letter from Jorn Ironborn (6 hours, 43 minutes ago)
Message sent to everyone in your realm (58 recipients)
Blasphemy! Corpses rising from the grave is no laughing matter!

(OOC: "The Boy's Big Book of Bones"? "Everything You Wanted To Know About Ghouls, But Where Afraid To Ask"? "Graverobbing For Dummies"?)

Sir Jorn Ironborn Arn
Marquis of Avengmil

Mouse Clicking

Letter from Macima Darksun
Message sent to everyone in message group "Center of Local Authority" (21 recipients)
Lord Rojer,

Why are you clicking a mouse? Does it enjoy this? Does it keep them out of your warehouses? I also personally believe that Lords should pause occasionally, in order to bring some solace to their lives and search for ways that they can glorify Evgenis and Carelia.

Regards,
Macima Darksun (Countess of Rogeshore)


What's in a name?

Battle in Tindle
Avalon,Bara'Khur vs. Hetland
Estimated strengths: 10 men vs. 350 men
The Black Guard of Dyomoque (Hetland), sponsored by Quinn Bellator, Senator of Dyomoque, were led into battle by Marshal Grassus Faldrin.
Sir Dead Angel Vermeer, Chancellor of Avalon is spotted wearing the Ucdauh's Armour of Strength.
Grassus Faldrin, General of Hetland, Senator of Eg Tutnu, Marshal of the Black Guard of Dyomoque is spotted wielding the Long-Lost Mace of Eg Tutnu.
Aerthbatol Nimis, Senator of Weghie is spotted wearing the Daemonic Plate Mail of Strength.
Faile sur Paendrag Tanreal, Senator of Jaekind was captured by Avalon forces.

Defender Victory!


Letter from Vitor Sciurus
Message sent to everyone in Avalon
Now there's a feat worthy of a great song! Ten of us against 350 of them and we somehow capture one of their lords??

It seems that his lordship Senator "Faile" was aptly named!
Vitor Sciurus (Knight of Zod)


Read the Fine Print!

Request from Winter Ironsides
Message sent to Message sent to everyone in Hammarsett
Greetings fine outstanding noble, are you recently homeless and feel inadequate? Well come to Crahandan and have all your needs satisfied. We have grassland to hunt, we have taverns to drink, we even have a small monster breeding ground so you could kill things that might kill you! But that last feature is a secret just between me and you.

So make your oath to Count Winter today and enjoy your new estate in Crahandan! You can't go wrong!*

*Wrongness has said to occur when the game roams out of range, when the drinks at the tavern are overpriced or sometimes poisoned (from poor sanitizing of course) and when the monsters breed out of control and overrun the realm. Oath may be fraudulent and estate may already be occupied or irreparable. Enjoyment of the region is not measured by personal affinity or experience.
Winter Ironsides (Count of Crahandan)


In-Game, OOC

Hawk Quickblade apon joining the realm CE "I am luckly at cards. I have an Ace up my sleave, Literally"

A New Player...

I'll not say his name because it's a little embarrassing for this guy. I put it in OOC because it's both IC and OOC but more OOC

Sahd:Hello, newcomer, if you would like to be taught by me I would happy to share ALL my knowledge.

New Player:you think I cnt hanle myself you ********!! I'm no noob!! yur lyk the gayest mother*************** I hav eva met in ma hol entire gaming cariaR. Wy du u speke so uper-class. Because yur a ****** ******* **** ***** *****!!! Taht's why!!!

Sahd:Oh, perhaps, I did speak your language. Let me try. I was taught this at a young age by my uncle. Here goes: Ok, noob. Dis iz lyk so damn stupid, so her is waht i wil say, yur a noob!!!

New Player:what!!?!?!?! you ******** **** ***** **** *** *** and ur mom is a *** **** **!!! How's that, noob!!!

Sahd:Wow, I successfully communicated in this "noob" language. Astounding?

New Player:So you lyk dun care? dis place is wiard im outa her!!

Sahd(OOC):That was the most hilarious thing I've ever seen on BM!!!


Hilarious Song

- BattleMaster adaption of the song "Rockstar" by Nickelback

Out-of-Character from Jambo (just in)
Message sent to everyone in your realm (110 recipients)

Cause we all just wanna be big landlords
Living in hilltop mansions driving fifteen carts
The gold comes easy and the troops are cheap
But i'll stay rich cause its just plain greed
And we'll hang out in the rudest bars
In the back room with spinning stars
Every gold digger's
Gonna wind up there wanting 50%
Of my regions share
And well..
Hey hey I wanna be a landlord
Hey hey I wanna be a landlord

I wanna be great like Tom wothout the tassels
Hire eight assassins the love to beat up a*h***s
Hold the court
So I can sleep in peace

I'm gonna arm my belt
With the latest weapon
Get a front door key to Reilwin's mansion
Gonna duel the a*h**
That throws insults at me

I'm gonna trade this life
For fortune and fame
I'd even draw my sword
And make my name

Cause we all just wanna be big landlords
Living in hilltop mansions driving fifteen carts
The gold comes easy and the troops are cheap
But i'll stay rich cause its just plain greed
And we'll hang out in the rudest bars
In the back room with spinning stars
Every gold digger's
Gonna wind up there wanting 50%
Of my regions share
And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest bounty board
In today's who's who
We'll get you anything
With that evil smile
Everybody's got an assassin on speed dial
Well..
Hey hey I wanna be a landlord

Battlemaster Season

Battlemaster Version of “Turn! Turn! Turn!” by The Byrds

Two everyday - turn, turn, turn
There is a server - turn, turn, turn
And a time for every person to read their letters

A time to create, a time to delete
A time to plan, a time for IC
A time to kill, a time to kill more
A time to laugh, a time for OOC

Two everyday - turn, turn, turn
There is a server - turn, turn, turn
And a time for every player, to praise Tom

A time to hang rebels, a time to revolt
A time to discuss, a time to duel
A time to make a new cult
A time to try to make turn at school

Two everyday - turn, turn, turn
There is an addiction- turn, turn, turn
And a time for other people to get off my computer

A time of war, a time of peace
A time of love, a time of hate
A time to ignite more war
Because peace doesn’t make for good roleplay

Oh please BM - turn, turn, turn
I have to travel - turn, turn, turn
And if I make it too late, I’ll miss the battle

A time to ban, a time to plot
A time to T.O, a time to scout
A time to tax, a time to donate
A time to join, I swear it's not too late!

--Laura Burkhardt

Wiki

""this stuff is making me creative. i think i'll carve a sculpture from this giant block of marble!" - Mr Jones on the RealmBox Project

Discussion List

Welcome to the third invasion. Please take a moment to familiarise yourselves with all emergency exits; as you can see, there are none.

– The1exile

Dude, nobody is *preventing* you from doing this! You sound like you think there's some conspiracy where we all get together every time there's a position available, and agree not to give it to psymann!

– Tim Collett

Dude!

The first rule of Operation psyblock is that you don't... ah, you get the idea.

– rick

You're comparing the vaguest possible description of roleplaying with the most extreme example of strategy gaming. I might as well say that fighting a war as if you actually cared about winning is better than writing page after page of self-aggrandizing wankfest.

Your choice of words carries the subtext that everyone who values strategy over roleplaying is min-maxing munchkin. I'm saying that, yes, there is a modicum of RP that is expected in this game. But people who satisfy that and still prefer to play a more strategy-minded game should not be bashed.

– Squirrel

I feel I ought to speak up here as being unfairly maligned as playing with myself.

– John Murphy

I am using a friends computer while I am away from the house. I tried to sign in to my accout and it keeps going to the new member page and asking me if I am from mars.

– Alan Beaird


IRC

On its own page: Quotes