MacGregor Family/From Fontan to Minas Ithil

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Letter from Luke Cunningham (3 days, 16 hours ago)
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Clearly Norland and Minas Ithil are both in the wrong and I order them to pay me a five hundred gold fine by next tax collection or else.

Luke Cunningham (Knight of Greatbridge)
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Letter from Adika Askari (3 days, 15 hours ago)
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I agree with Luke in return for a generous portion of said fine. Once we've finished steamrolling through this island we can move onto Atamara. Now all we'll need is a navy, a thousand barrels of grog and some saltpeter to keep the boys from getting too "cohesive" on the voyage there.

Adika Askari (Knight of Hagley)
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Letter from Nicolo West (3 days, 15 hours ago)
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Sounds like a plan~

I'll toss in the three sticks I'm stepping on right now to help build our new navy.

Mith..erm...Mitheril Itheril will feel the might of our politicians as we swamp their message boards and drown their nobles in a storm of owl mail.

Cheers,

Nicolo West (Knight of Krimml)
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Letter from Adika Askari (3 days, 15 hours ago)
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Yep, the good old shock and awe tactic. We'll lay waste to their cities as their troop leaders try to find their orders out a a thousand messages a day. Then we can move onto the Colonies, those lazy colonists won't stand a chance against our superior speed and work ethic.

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Letter from Nicolo West (3 days, 14 hours ago)
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But imagine the potential! With such weapons at our hands (Which is to say, Owls and people like Sir/Marshal/whatever he is these days Johnnn)we could take over every continent with out breaking a sweat!

Did any of you catch the 'Hairy Potmaker' in Krimml just a few days ago? The sheer amount of mail that fell down the fireplace... I mean, if each noble here donated all the mail they had received this last month, we could flood every city and fortress from here to Dwilight!

Castle walls will fall as more and more letters push them down. Cities will crumble. Peoples from all nations will cry to be saved from the wrath of the Politicians of Fontan.

And if the gods try and intervene...well even God [Tom] has an email address and he too might fall before the might of the Fontanese courier system.

Long live Fontan's Monkey(?) Scribes!

Nicolo West (Knight of Krimml)
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Letter from Beaumains Varrus (3 days, 14 hours ago) Message sent to everyone in your realm (147 recipients) Yes, let us conquer the world with immense amounts of mail! No one generates nearly as much as our Benevlonet politicians in all of their infinite wisdom!

Beaumains Varrus (Knight of Al Amarah)
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Letter from Adika Askari (3 days, 14 hours ago)
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Wait we can't conquer it without three referendums with a minimum two thirds majority validated by the chancellor then amended by the relm high council and resubmitted in triplicate for a second round of voting after a period of no less than three weeks to decide on if we want to consider the possiblilty of thinking of pursuing the motion. Should it win the vote it will be voted on and changed as needed for the next two to six months before being hand copied by blind three-fingered scribes and passed out to every peasant of the land for toilet paper. In the event the peasants find the bill adequately soothing to their buttocks the Fontan Assembly will then pas a non-binding resolution to vote on the proposal three year from the date the assembly convened.

The proposal and resolution will then be stored in a dark cave by a mute messenger who will then be slain along with his assailant to keep the location a secret. Should any Fontan noble eligible to vote find the documents within two weeks of the three year mark of the convening of the assembly that passed the non-binding resolution they will then bring it forward to the Assembly for another round of voting to decide whether to pass the proposal. In order to be passed the proposal must be unanimously approved with an automatic vote against it coming from the Committee of Grumpy Old Men That Like To Veto Things.


Adika Askari (Knight of Hagley)
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Out-of-Character from Adika Askari (3 days, 14 hours ago)

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That's the real reason there is no inter island warfare.


Alex Kinnebrew

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