Kingsley Family/Erik/Liaison in Lavraz

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This story describes an encounter Erik had with Sevima MacArbin, one they had arranged, but went wrong due to Erik's unfamiliarity with the dame's description. Hijinks ensue.

MacArbin

Some weeks ago, before the war, when all that threatened Portion were a few undead incursions, including one particular band in the coastlands of Lavraz...

Sevima jerked her sword out of the skelyena in front of her, and nodded at her Captain. Lupold withdrew his pike, shaking off the ichor, and nodded back.

"That's the last of them, milady. Sven got the matriarch, so they'll stay down."

She relaxed a bit. That would stop more of them from coming back, at least until another luckless soul killed a mother hyena before the kits were weaned.

"Then gather up the troops, and let's get to that shrine. I want to meet this Erik in person."

She cleaned and sheathed her blade, and mounted up while the rest of the Guardians gathered. Time to see if he was as adorable in person as his letters made him out to be.


Kingsley

Erik grimaced as he inspected the half-life-sized statue of the Highfather that stood atop the steps of the open-air shrine atop the little knob in just outside of Lavraz Castle. The statue itself was supposed to be life-sized, though he did recall writing "life-sized or something like that" so he supposed the statue's stature was his fault. More than that though, someone had already chipped away some of the stone leaving vandalized messages carved into the base of the statue including "No Count by my count", "Get me High, Father" and symbol made up of a circle with a letter A imposed over it.

The priest just sighed and shook his head. At least it was a pretty afternoon. He laid down on one of the stone benches for faithful and weary travelers to rest at. Leaves blew across the grey stone floor as Erik took in the cool air and closed his eyes.


A shade came over the priest as he awoke from his light nap. A figure stood over him, their head eclipsing the sun overhead. Awake suddenly and immediately startled. Erik jumped, falling off the bench and onto the carved stones that made up the floor of the little shrine.

"Ow..." He muttered looking up at his assailant meekly. Her face was sharp and steely and she stood with a bunch of armed soldiers. Robbers? Tilogians? Oh this is my luck. He groaned as he rubbed his hip where he fell and cautiously stood up with his hands in the air.

"There's... I think some coin in the collection box by the statuette-err statue. I lost the key so I can't get it open, you'll have to smash it. Or if you know how to pick locks that would be the nicer way to go about it." He glanced around at the soldiers with their pikes and swords then back at the woman who woke him. "I also have this credit bond. The bank in Portion wont honour it if it's not me, but if you want you can take my robe and maybe one of you could pretend to be me, I don't think they look too hard when you cash those things, but I'd really rather not be sworded or piked so I figured I'd let you know in case that's something you all are interested in trying. You might have to put platforms on your shoes, cause I'm pretty tall, getting the body type right is probably going to be your best bet. Um... I think that's it as far as valuable things? I've got a book of poetry but it's all rubbish..." Erik dug in the pockets of his robe, starting to sweat nervously, and pulled out the contents "...Let's see... half a candle? Probably nothing. Um... yeah that's everything so... You'll let me go, right?"


MacArbin

Sevima had opened her mouth to introduce herself to Erik, who she only knew because a passing pilgrim had pointed them toward the shrine and described the priest and Count.

But as he continued under his mistaken impression, a wicked, wicked idea came to her.

As Erik wound down, she gave him a toothy smirk.

"Well, now...As it happens, we've gold enough, little lord, but what I've really been missing is a little company. So I'll make you a deal, my new friend: Come with us, join me for a night of fun and debauchery, and we'll let you on your way. And who knows, perhaps I can toss in a little donation for a statue that's a little more life-size, if you make good company."

She offered a hand to help him up.

"So what do you say? We keep this nice and friendly, we have a wild night, you leave the richer in both love and gold? Well...Experience and gold, at least."

Kingsley

Erik rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. "So we have to go somewhere? I was supposed to meet someone here so..." He glanced over at one of the armed men accompanying this stranger. He wore a look Erik was not sure if was menacing or confused. Deciding it was probably safer to assume the former given the pike in his hand, Erik simply grimaced and held his hands out.


Erik grumbled quietly to himself as the armed bandit led him by the rope his hands were tied to. He wondered what they intended to do to him. They didn't seem like Tilogian, since they weren't cackling maniacally or wearing other people's skin. He briefly wondered if they intended to kill him. They could just stab me if they wanted me dead, and he didn't have any money... He came to the conclusion that they may indeed want him as a guest. Though if so, why the ropes? It was all quite confusing, so he decided the best course of action would be to simply ask. He turned to the man holding his rope.

"Excuse me mister uh..." The man, a large brutish looking fellow with a big nose and a thick jaw turned to him and grunted. "So I was just wondering if you intended to do something awful to me. Your leader did say that she only wanted me as a guest, but typically it's not considered polite to really tie guests up and lead them by a rope to a... where are we going exactly?"

The big man just grunted in response though he shot Erik an annoyed expression. Deciding not to give up, Erik continued trying to match the big man's long strides. "Hey so, this isn't some sort of..." He paused and half-covered his mouth in a loud whisper "cult... thing... right? I'm not going to end up like sacrificed? Because I have an appointment to make and I'm supposed to return right back to the Queen after my visit in Lavraz and she'll be very cross if she learns I was sacrificed to some sort of evil god or something. Do people even worship evil gods here? I thought the church put a stop to most of tha-"

"Hey!" called one of the other men, marching not too far along. "That's Mute Dave, my lord."

"Oh." Replied Erik. "Is it because he's mute?"

He was met with a silence that continued for several minutes as they walked towards their unknown destination.

"Hey listen," He said finally breaking the uncomfortable pause. "Are we getting close? My feet are starting to get tired."

MacArbin

As the poor man offered himself up, Saoirse was thinking furiously. She had not planned for any of this, but she would need a bandit lair...She had Erik's hands tied, for the look of things, and then went off with Captain Lupold to strategize. A few minutes later, he rode off with some coin to a little out of the way tavern one of the scouts had found earlier as part of the plan for after the undead had been dealt with. Now, they just needed to march around in circles for a bit until everything was ready.

When Erik started asking questions, they were thankfully just about there, so she could chime in.

"Oh, just about, my lord, just about."

And as they came around the last corner of road, she gestured grandly.

"There we are! Welcome, to our little home away from home!"

And as they made their way in, she saw Lupold had done good work. The stablehand was cheerily scowling in what she was sure he fondly imagine to be the expression of a bandit boy, the place was cleared out and ready for her troops, and the inkeep still mostly looked like a matron, but she had a cap at a jaunty angle, and what Sevima assumed were her children were running around with...Were those eyepatches? That...That had to be too much. Erik would see through this...But at least it would be an amusing joke, and so she decided to play it to the hilt.

Striding forward, she kicked off her boots, made her way to a nice corner table where she could see the room, splayed herself across the heavy chair, and plonked her feet on the table before gesturing to one of the child servers with an imperious hand, while giving her most rakish smile to Erik. All she needed was an exotic pet to complete the picture of a bandit queen in her lair, but alas, there hadn't been time.

"Now, my lord, come join me, and let the revelry begin!"

Her troop gave a rough cheer as they streamed their way in.

Kingsley

The revelry did begin as the bandit company seemed to relax when they entered the cozy little roadside tavern. The place looked a bit old but seemed sturdy enough. How dastardly... He thought. This tavern belonged to the Lavrazi! And they've stolen it right from them! The woman in charge kicked off her boots and put her feet on the table. Erik, hands still tied glanced at the irreverent smirk she wore. Erik tried to decide if he hated her but could not decide. She seemed mean, but also she didn't really do anything mean except tie him up and kidnap him. The bandit leader motioned to the chair across from her and he sat down with a grimace. This is just my luck. He thought as a child wearing an eyepatch set two bottles in front of each of them.

They even impressed children into service!? He knew these people were real pieces of work, but there was nothing he could do. He didn't know how to fight and historically running would likely end up with him stumbling to the floor. He had no choice, and was well and truly captured. He sighed and the child gave a wink with their good eye. Is that some sort of signal? Are they counting on me to rescue them? I can't rescue you, kid!

"I can't res-" He sputtered out as the child darted off back through the room now filled with thugs and brigands, out of sight, leaving Erik out of hope. The banditress took a hearty swig from the bottle and gave Erik an expectant look. He fidgeted.

"It upsets my stomach!" he said somewhat loudly to be heard over the commotion of the taproom. That was not what she expected to hear apparently as her look turned from expectance to curious surprise. "I said it makes my stomach turn a lot." He repeated, still loudly. "Also it's hard to hold the bottle while my hands are tied up, cause I'm kind of tall and my hands are slightly bigger than average because of my proportions. Not really big but just a little bit bigger than some other people's hands." He held up his still tied wrists to show that they were not any size particularly out of the ordinary. "Um... hey listen can you untie my hands? I promise I won't try to escape because I don't want to be beaten into the dirt or whatever it is you all do to people who try to run away. Also I'm not very good at running, just laying that one on the table. So... How about it? It makes my wrists itch."

MacArbin

Sevima shrugged as he refused the drink, and cocked her head at his plea for his hands back.

"Certainly! Dave, come deal with the man's ties, we're all among friends here."

Mute Dave came over and untied Erik, before nodding to Sevima and heading back to his table.

"Now, my lord, you need not drink, but we'll have to conduct our revelry in some other fashion, then. So!"

She leaned forward with a predatory grin.

"The nights have been cold, my lord, and I've never had a Priest warm my bed. I'm keen to discover if what they say about learned men's clever fingers, and tongues, is true. Shall we skip the rest of this-"

She gestured airily toward the rising, raucous din about them.

"And begin?"


Kingsley

Erik watched carefully as Mute Dave untied the knots around his wrists.  When the ropes fell away he winced at the red sore spots on his hands where the ropes had cut in during their march.  He gently rubbed them as the bandit leader across from him smiled wickedly. Shall we skip the rest of this-"

She gestured airily toward the rising, raucous din about them.

"And begin?"

Erik took a deep breath and opened his mouth to say something when a glint from his right caught his eye and he turned his head to see the backroom behind the bar, the its door to the outside yard left open and the afternoon sun shining into the bar's stock room.  He glanced back over at the woman across who had followed his gaze to the open door and then back to his eyes.

"M-"

She did not even get a word out before Erik bolted out of the chair and rushed throw the now crowded tap room.  He ducked under one of the bandits as they lumbered to grab him and stumbled blocking the way behind him.  Wow that was a lucky dodge  He thought as he, distracted by his fleeting success, ran directly into the bar, his momentum carrying him over the bar and into the bartender on the other side spilling drinks all over the bar and knocking them to the ground, Erik on top of them, a loud crash echoing out around them.  He quickly did his best to help the barkeep up while mumbling some apologies and dashed through the stockroom and stumbled out the open door, wheezing and out of breath, the young priest clumsily rushing out and beyond into the warm sunlight of the Lavrazi countryside.


MacArbin

Erik making a run for it had, actually, surprised her. The rest of the Guardians were likewise not expecting it, and Erik made it clean outside with quite the muddle left behind him. She could only laugh as her troops looked at her, wondering if a pursuit was coming.

She eventually recovered enough to wave them off, and they settled down to some serious drinking, while she motioned (still laughing too hard to speak) for her scribe. After another minute or two, she finally managed to gasp out a message, to be sent off to the care of the good priest.

"Morsel,

Well done! I do approve of a man who can use his legs and his wits, and I look forward to our next meeting. I am sure I will see you around, and next time, I rather hope to stuff and mount my prize.

-The Rakish Rapscallion of the Road"

She sent it off with another chuckle, and downed her drink. Elias, at least, would be amused.