Kingsley Family/Alyssa/Fumbling in the Dark

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This scene is a series of mostly private Roleplays between Nemean JeVondair Renodin and Alyssa. The switch from public to private will be noted with a line break. The public portions of the scene are from the perspective of Maron, a bard in Alyssa's service. These changes in perspective are noted as well. The story details the aftermath of the Bloody Stump incident, after which Alyssa sent an apologetic letter to Nemean and he came to visit her in the Imperator's tower. The story ran from 12/2/2019 to 12/8/2019


Renodin

12/2/2019

Some days had past since the fight in the Bloody stump. Days or weeks, it didn't feel much different either way. He still had to wear a sling for his left arm and every time he snuck it off, one of the healers would verbally assault him and fuss all over him again. Fortunately for him, the army did not require him to travel with them. Instead he'd poured over scouting reports and spend his afternoons and evenings penning letters. It was more difficult than it sounds, not the writing itself but the bracing of the blasted parchment. Sling in the way and a paperweight more clumsy than a drunk chicken. He had managed though and although there was little feedback, he liked to believe his reports were useful.

It was one of those afternoons. When he sat down to write the next bit on Bescanon and what enemy forces his scouts had sighted that he noticed an unusual letter, perched upon his desk. His chambers were modest and not spacious whatsoever. Still, they inhabited the Ducal palace and that beat any tavern. The thought made him wince. He couldn't even keep himself from mocking himself with his own words.

He shrugged it off, the Duke had won fair and square. The letter. The seal that it bore displayed a wolf. Alyssa's wolf. Using the inkwell and a letteropener he sliced it cleanly off. Moments later he held her words in his hand. Leaning back into the chair his eyes studiously roamed the parchment until he finally put it back down. A deep sigh ensued which further necessitated pinching the bridge of his nose. This'll be great. The crass scraping noise of the chair on stone as Nemean got up from his seat. He paced towards the door of his room where he stopped and took a half cape from its stand, slinging it deftly around his left shoulder. Obscuring the physical weakness and also, it felt nice, the additional warmth it provided.

Moments later Nemean was skipping down the stairs of the Ducal palace. His captain, Jacinta, spotted him in the main courtyard. The two made eye contact and Nemean waved her at ease. Something the woman seemed content to comply with, resuming her meal of roast chicken bits in whatever broth that was. He didn't linger and promptly made his way towards the Imperatrix's Tower. Passing several guards whom he scantly paid attention to. He finally reached the small and quite secluded part where the tower itself actually stood. Not that it was abandoned. Not by any stretch of the word. Scribes and servants of every color and stripe frequented the area. Warriors too of course and it all made Nemean feel even more skeptical than he had before finishing her letter.

He didn't like having to dodge out of the way of a small group of messengers but did. It was just more expedient. The personal guards of the Imperatrix saw him coming. They waited. When he finally drew up beside them they mouthed their greetings. I'm here on request of the Imperatrix. Seeing they weren't yet satisfied he continued, a bit exasperated. Nemean, Knight of Bisciye. He eyed them and they eyed him right back. He shifted his weight from hip to hip. Licked his lips with nascent annoyance. Knight of the Realm? I'm the one that writes the Scouting reports about the front? She asked me to visit her? It wasn't sure which of the answers the guards were actually waiting for or if they were waiting for any in particular even. They were content to just let Nemean wait a bit and then, and only then forwarded the notice of his arrival.

So the young Prince waited. Perhaps she'd be as coy as her guards. Maybe she wasn't even home and the letter send from the field. Whatever it was going to be. Nemean could swear he heard some distant or muffled laughing coming from somewhere about. He could hear words and bits of phrases: Must've been a deep cut!, Wonder if the pup learned his lesson?, Wonder what the Duke will do to him this time if he finds out the boy visited her tower!

The walk was unpleasant and so was the wait.

Kingsley

12/2/2019

Maron

"Sir Lover!" Maron called as he turned the corner, spotting Sir Nemean standing at the foot of the steps to the White Lady's office and quarters. Now this is an interesting sight! He thought to himself. The singer had heard of what happened during his lady's previous visit to the capital. He tried to comfort the girl with a song when she came back to her tower in a huff. He certainly did not expect the object of that irritation here before. He wondered to himself whether the young man simply enjoyed heartache. For Maron it was a game, one he enjoyed very much. He of course knew Alyssa would never fall for a man like him, but she was quite an inspiring figure and an interesting one. There would be songs about her, and he wanted them to be his songs. In the meantime, he enjoyed pushing her buttons for a simple delight. This Nemean on the other hand...

He saw Sir Nemean's frown as he turned to see who called him such a name. Very good, Sir. He thought to himself. As he reached the knight in sour armor, the bard gave a gracious and exaggerated bow.

"Is she keeping you waiting too, my lord? How women play with our hearts, this one especially." He grinned a knowing grin. "Tell me Sir, what brings you to our darling lady?

Renodin

12/2/2019

Standing around and waiting had aggravated his wounded shoulder. The people milled around almost mindlessly or so it seemed to Nemean and he had to pay attention to any of them that came close enough to bump into him. Something he really didn't want to happen. The constant attention wore on him and now this figure appeared.

Looking the bard over Nemean noted the instrument, the somewhat foppish tints and of course the self-indulgent smirk. "She invited someone like you?" He coldly dropped on the commoner. "The lute had me confuse you for a Bard, not a Jester."

After a moment Nemean decided against further antagonizing Maron. You are in her service? His eyebrows arched. She hasn't played with anything to be fair. He discovered this was harder to talk about than he had anticipated. Quite the opposite actually. It was quite clear what she thinks and wants. Not wishing to elaborate on the subject. Nemean looked up at the tower. Spying several neatly placed windows. One above the other.

I might've arrived early. He turned his gaze to the bard. "The army only just returned from their successful battle in Eldoret and Brive." The tone of his voice continued to lose much of its original edge. "But yeah," He swallowed. "She asked me to meet her here. Would you know if she's in?"


Kingsley

11/2/2019

Maron

"The lute had me confuse you for a bard, not a jester" the young knight barbed at him. Oh he is quite fun Maron thought to himself as he watched the knight lie to him about his own tender heart.

"Oh she is in Sir, I had the pleasure of waking her this morning. Seeing her tender face with the dawn is one of the greatest pleasures of my life. She is most spirited when she arises." He said with a wink. He paused for a beat before continuing. "And her voice so full of life as she calls my name! 'Maron!' she cried out to me this morning. It was more music than anything I could play, Sir." The knight just stared at him as another smile began to form. "Her aim though is lousy." he offered, having had his fun. "The slipper she threw in my direction at the doorway did not even come close to me. A wound, to be honest, that she would even consider to strike this humble singer who only seeks to bring her joy, but the spirit in her voice as she chastised me for playing for her before the sunrise was worth any wound, Sir."

The knight said nothing, but looked annoyed as Maron continued on. Perhaps that is enough for today. "In any case, Sir, I am indeed in her service. Maron is my name and entertainment and pleasure is my trade. I am sure you have heard my songs, I have grown quite popular here in the city. Have you heard "The Lady in White?" It is of course about our fair lady, and written by yours truly, and is often loved by the smallfolk. Not so much among the noble crowds though, but no matter. A dozen coins are the same whether given by twelve peasants or one noble."

The group of logistics officers that Maron had spotted on their way to the tower earlier this morning were making their way down from Alyssa's solar. Nemean seemed to shift somewhat uncomfortably as the guards informed him that it would be just a few minutes more as the Imperatrix prepared for her next meeting. Poor fool Maron thought.

"Well Sir Nemean JeVondair" Maron began once more. "It was a pleasure to meet you Sir. I look forward to our legendary duel for our beloved lady's heart. I wish you the best of luck, though I am determined to be the victor. As a gentleman I will grant you a boon to more even the field, perhaps it will make it interesting."

He dropped his jolly demeanor and spoke to Nemean with a plainer, more serious tone. "Lady Alyssa has a heart of ice. She left it behind to lighten the load she bears for the realm. And it was left buried and hidden in the snow for so long it will take the brightest of flames to warm it. She needs joy, Sir, desperately. What the nobles of this brave realm did to her is an inexcusable crime. To burden one so young and bright with such grave responsibility."

And then he gave an extravagant bow. "I am playing tonight at the Lion's Den in the city as well Sir. All are welcome!" He announced jauntily to the knight, soldiers, servants and officers who scurried about.

Renodin

12/3/2019

The serious tone from which Maron lept and announced his performance at the Lion's Den did little to amuse Nemean but it did cartloads to diffuse the situation. Broadly remaining where he was Nemean looked on expectantly after the guards informed him that it'd be only minutes now. A tiny voice in the depths of his skull made him turn his head in the direction Maron had vanished into. He tried to spot the man but had no such luck.

He wondered what Maron had meant with the Ice and the great crime the realm had put on Alyssa. For a moment he did his best to inspect the problem with his mind's eye but his conclusions remained the same. A problem to revisit perhaps he surmised, time was not a luxury right now. Satirically as that might've seemed as he continued to wait, with purpose now, some more.


Kingsley

12/5/2019

"A knight to see you my lady." Gareth said, still clearly nervous from his first day on guard duty. He was about her age possibly a little older, and his hook nose and droopy eyes gave him a look of feebleness. Still she would not underestimate him. She had been surprised in the past, meekness hiding great strength and a warrior's spirit. And Perdan is a realm of warriors.

Alyssa sighed. "Which knight?" she asked wearily. It had been her fifth meeting that day and she was frankly tired. Gareth leaned back out of the door and called down the stairs.

"Which one?" He yelled as Alyssa shook her head. A muffled call back came from below she could not make out and Gareth leaned back in the door way.

"Some knight called Sir Nemean."

Alyssa paused. "Bring him in." she said curtly. She stood at her desk, with her hands behind her back at ease when Sir Nemean entered the room. He wore a neutral expression she could not read. Not that she could ever read him.

"Sir Nemean. You received my letter?" She asked hoping she did not sound too cold.

He nodded.

"So you wished to speak to me of its contents. Very well." She said, sitting back down and motioning to the chair on the other side of the desk. She took a deep breath. "Then let us speak."

Renodin

12/5/2019

The half mantle whipped from his left shoulder like a banner taut in the wind, as he ascended the steps of the tower and stood in the doorway. He didn't give much for the room. Instead he tried to carefully take a first step towards the table. Stones somewhat uneven but after that first step, he no longer cared. His left arm firmly in a sling, tight to his body.

With his free hand he pulled out the proffered chair and took his time to sit down into it. Deliberately shifting his weight and making sure he sat comfortably. Blueberry-bush green eyes perused the contents of the Imperatrix's table. Letters, mostly scattered over a map. A writing box of well worked wood. The clipped feather of a goose, almost hidden in the curling roll of a parchment. Nemean wet his lips and with discernible discomfort pulled his gloves off. Particularly the right one gave him trouble.

Once done, he threw them on the desk with a laconic toss. "Was that all you wanted to say?" He canted his head and leaned back into his seat.

Kingsley

12/6/2019

All I wanted to say? She thought to herself, feeling a tinge of annoyance at the man's casually flippant attitude. You came to me!

But she did not voice her thoughts, instead pinching her the bridge of her nose in frustration. "That depends, Sir Nemean." She began, looking back at him "A great deal, on what you wish to speak of." She continued as gently as she could. "It was yourself Sir who arranged this meeting. I have explained myself in my letter, and as I wrote you are free to visit me if you wished to speak of it further. You have come, and I am here."

She sighed futilely, before continuing "I truly do want the air between us to be clear Sir. We have wounded each other, and that will not do. We are both knights and as such should be above the pettiness we have both shown to the other. And we are both Perdan. Our foe is not each other but those false knights who burn our crops and slaughter our people. So please Sir. If there is something I can do to help you feel at ease, please tell me so that we can forgive one another and put this distraction behind us."

She looked at him exasperated and weary, both from little sleep and the difficulty of the man before her.


Renodin

12/7/2019

He just sat there. Looking at her struggle with the words. Finishing with something that felt like a plea almost. Asking him how she could make him feel better. As she stopped speaking Nemean readjusted his left arm. The sling had become uncomfortable and he used it as a distraction as he felt deflated. Staring at the floor until he was done.

Try as he might but he couldn't help feeling dolorous. Proud waves breaking on the reefs, never reaching the shore. "I uhmm.." He cleared his throat. Feigned another cough. He took a deep breath and righted himself. His stray right hand indicating into nothingness as it sat perched on the armrest. "All that was said." An aquiline look preceded the words. That meant nothing?

The chair he sat in suddenly felt like the very bastion of a besieged warlord. "You can't undo those words." His voice started to rise. "How can you sit there and pretend -nothing- happened." If before his eyes were hard, now they were wreathed in licking flames. "You want to clear the air, then speak of that."

Nemean looked down at the table. Whatever tectonic plate of his had begun to move, with the air he calmly blew out so too did it settle. "I came here because I cannot believe, nor accept, that what I said and we shared, meant nothing." When he looked at her again, his eyes were calm. His face open but neither was there a smile. Clouds on one side of a valley promising rain and more, while at the other side, blue skies and a radiant sun. At the bottom of the valley, a small cottage seated on the banks of a small lake.

Kingsley

12/8/2019

Alyssa put her hand on her temple. "Of course not. We know much of each other sir, we have exchanged letters for a year. I found our correspondence cordial and have always considered you a noble soul, if not a bit confused. You said you came here because I treated you kindly. I am happy to hear that I have inspired you, truly, to come to Perdan. I believe you came because we are of one mind on the honour of a knight and the duty we share as nobles to the smallfolk of this world. I believe you came to Perdan because you are a true knight, as I hope to be."

A silence hung over them for a few moments and Alyssa sighed.

"I want to be clear I hold no animosity for you, Sir." She said gently. "I have had my grievance with you that is true. To me, that is past. All the cruel things you have written to me, as well as your touching of me without leave I do not hold against you. I have asked for your forgiveness for mine own transgressions, as I said, I made a few erroneous assumptions and I regret it. I just..."

She hesitated. "I want to understand you. I believe you are a good man, but you treat me with both kindness and cruelty. It vexes me. I asked you before: 'What am I to make of this?' Does this man mislike me? He told me never to speak to him again. Then he sends me a letter and a puppy. Is he fond of me? I grow quickly weary of the back and forth. Endlessly trying to parse together what is going through your head. It is becoming a distraction. One that I cannot afford to have. So." She said, the weariness in her eyes beginning to sparkle into bright blue flame.

"If you have something you wish to speak with me about, please do so."

Renodin

12/8/2019


It was audible how Nemean sighed. It wasn't the first one either but a series of them as Alyssa had spoken. The chair had creaked as he leaned to the left and then to the right. As she continued her words however, his motions became fewer and his innate desire to refute and to highlight grew dimmer and dimmer. Until finally, he felt spent. Running towards an imagined finish-line only to have it pulled back every time it came into sight.

His right hand rose from its perch on the armrest and ran along the line of his yaw. His eyes pensive until his fingers brushed the tip his chin and made the motion of tossing some imaginary thing from them. I'm a distraction. The words came soft and matter of factly. With rising eyebrows an expression of exasperation and surprise melted into disbelief. His head shook slightly as his hand landed on the armrest with a clap. That was the moment he looked Alyssa in the eye.

Eyelids sheltering unstinting orbs. The otherwise deflated posture filled itself with an odd determination. You are very beautiful, but I won't continue. His hand all but swirled Whatever this is. Getting up from the chair hurt him. He didn't try to hide it either as his left arm protested. The injured limb had throbbed all the way through the conversation. As his emotions rose so to did the beating of his heard and the consequent pulsing of his veins.Without much decorum or care Nemean pushed the chair away and liberated a pathway leading towards the door.

Halfway there he stopped and turned. Great affection is what I felt. Unreasonably so. I tried to find out if I was justified in feeling it. Imagined, I realize now, that there were signs from you. That you might've felt the same way. His posture lost some of its vim and fire, eyes cast downwards towards the floor. I see now that I was mistaken. Reconstructing his will to move, he began to turn towards the exist again.

Determined to leave and pull this door closed, for a final time.


Kingsley

12/8/2019

There it is. She thought as he said the words she had been trying to avoid. She knew that she couldn't. That Dustiria was right and that this was unavoidable. Why did it have to turn out like this? Why did he have to find that affection for me? Who cursed him so, to find his love for a girl such as me?

"Nemean." She said, fidgeting nervously and dropping her usual Sir. The other stopped with his hand at the door. A tear escaped from her eye as she continued, her hands folded in her lap in resignation. A grievous wound inflicted, yet she did not feel victorious. This was not a battlefield. This was a room with two people, fumbling in the dark. Both wanting warmth and light, but unable to find it. Another tear.

"I cannot help the way that I am. But I am sorry that it hurt you."

Renodin

12/8/2019

The sound of her voice forming his name was akin to a lance piercing skin, flesh and bone. He didn't turn, neither did he speak. The hand he had resting on the handle of the door the only outward sign of pause. "..I am sorry that it hurt you." her words, and the handle turned. Releasing the door from its frame. Two echoing steps later and he was gone.

The door was closed from the other side and fading steps could be heard, descending the stairs of the tower.