IRC/Quotes/2009

November 2009

<Andrew|Kotor> oszero hooked me up with the crack he uses and it seems to work

October 2009

* Sacha sucks Lauren's doorknob
<Lauren> my eye just literally started twitching

July 2009

[03:50] <EthanLeeVita> I hired a friend to haunt you though
[03:50] <EthanLeeVita> his name is Jeff Dolmer
[03:50] <Dave`>  Phew.
[03:50] <Dave`>  I thought you were about to say Jeff Madsen.

June 2009

Oszero>	Tom is a bigger geek that Sacha and Andrew combined
	<Lauren>	lol
	<Lauren>	+ dean
	<Sacha>	i'm f'in gangsta, dude
	<Lauren>	dean you're a geek too
	<Lauren>	esp. with the wow
	<Oszero>	LOL
	* Sacha	shoots Oszero, holding his gun sideways
	<Oszero>	HAHA
	<Oszero>	you come from belgum...
	<The1exile>	look at me I'm a gangster I hold my gun sidewyas
	<Sacha>	i buss' a cap in yo' ass!
	<Oszero>	ive done sheets more gangster than your country..
	<Lauren>	belgum.. sounds like a drug company
	* The1exile	flaunts his sideways holding gun skillz
	<Oszero>	lol
	<Lauren>	that's ironic
	<Oszero>	lmao
	<Lauren>	lmfao
	<Sacha>	yeah, but you havent outdone me :P
	* Lauren	is laughing for the first time since.. wait.. no.. earlier today
	<Oszero>	time ot request to Tom that theres an archery tourament.. i mean.. shooting sideways...
	<Oszero>	xD
	<Oszero>	>.>
	<Lauren>	dave made me laugh with his bzzzing
	<Oszero>	<.<
	<Dave`>	lol
	<Dave`>	:)
	<The1exile>	Oszero: you mean... like... a crossbow?
	<The1exile>	xD
	<Lauren>	my dad was looking at my really funnily dave :P
	<Oszero>	LOL
	<Lauren>	i had to explain that there was an inside wasp joke
	<The1exile>	"my bow is so gangster it shoots sideways normally"
	<Oszero>	LOL
	<Sacha>	lol
	<Lauren>	oh!
	<Sacha>	bonus points because you can fire one with one hand
	<Dave`>	:O
	<Lauren>	archery!
	<The1exile>	in fact I think there should be a gun that fires guns that fire sideways
	<Sacha>	and thus can go akimbo
	<Lauren>	i was talking bout that with andrew today
	<De-Legro>	you can shoot some bows sideways, not sure if its a good idea though
	<Oszero>	lol
	<The1exile>	so that no-one has an excuse for not firing guns in ganster ways
	* Lauren	has done archery before
	<Lauren>	i lurves it
	<Oszero>	there is one!!!
	<The1exile>	I WANTS IT
	<Lauren>	my aim sucks.. but i love it :)
	<Oszero>	its called a fully auto AK :P
	<Sacha>	but a ballista trums a crossbow
	<Sacha>	thats like firing a bazooka sideways
	<Oszero>	lol
	<The1exile>	the AK doesn't fire guns foo
	<Sacha>	doesnt get more gangsta than that
	<De-Legro>	I hate archery, but thats becuase I could never work out how not to hit my arm with the string :(
	<Oszero>	LOL mien does!!
	<Oszero>	De-Legro: thats why you should be given a bracer xD
	<The1exile>	that's true sacha but then some cool gangster is going to come up and pop a stone in yo ass and say you're compensating for something
	* Dave`	's gun fires in all directions. >.>
	<Aerywyn>	http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o178/therandominsane/twilightshoopcopy.jpg
	<Oszero>	and you have to hold the bow at a slight angle xD
	<Sacha>	who cares what they say
	<Sacha>	ive got a freaking ballista
	<Aerywyn>	Are we talking stone ages?
	<Oszero>	LOL
	<Oszero>	nice one jake
	* Aerywyn	gets in his chariot.
	<De-Legro>	my school was too cheap to provide bracers, plus the instructor was of the opinion that they created bad habits
	<Sacha>	raptor vampires?
	<The1exile>	AHA
	<The1exile>	I have exposed the weakness in the ballista plans
	<Oszero>	Are you serious?!?
	<Oszero>	Say that when youre missing flesh from your forearm
	<The1exile>	you see if you google "f*cking ballista" the first result tells you "sometimes even a headshot with a f*cking ballista isn't enough to get a one-hit kill."
	<The1exile>	clearly not gangster
	<The1exile>	in fact...
	<The1exile>	what you need is drive by ballista shooting
	<Oszero>	LOL
	<Aerywyn>	Hmmm...
	<The1exile>	which is basically what warships are for
	<Oszero>	a ballista attached to a ford escort
	<Sacha>	or... get a motorized ballista
	<Oszero>	xD
	<Aerywyn>	Well...
	<Aerywyn>	Chariots kinda too.
	<Sacha>	do a 90 degree spin
	<Sacha>	shoot
	<Aerywyn>	But they arent as acccurate
	<The1exile>	therefore admiral = ORIGINAL GANGSTER
	<Sacha>	and drive off
	<Hroppa>	Ballista on a chariot?
	* Lauren	shoots people with arrows
	<Lauren>	muahahahaha
	* Aerywyn	laughs.
<Hroppa> What do you think Pirates are?
<Oszero> umm
<Sacha>	awesome?
<Oszero> awesome?
<Oszero> LOL
<The1exile> Oszero: I have a ford escort get me a ballista and we're in business
<Sacha>	...
<Oszero> HIVEMIND
<The1exile> in fact, get me two
<Sacha>	WE ARE ONE

May 2009

May 05

[21:13] <DorianGray> You know you're addicted to bm when you pass over a topless girl in favour of rp?

March 2009

March 03

[13:35] * +Wimpie looks away
[13:40] * +DorianGray looks at Wimpie looking away
[13:40] * +ELV doesn't look at DorianGray looking at Wimpie looking away
[13:40] * +DorianGray doesn't know ELV isn't looking at DorianGray looking at Wimpie looking away, because he's looking away
[13:42] * +ELV doesn't know DorianGray doesn't know ELV isn't looking at DorianGray looking at Wimpie looking away, because he's not looking at DorianGray looking at Wimpie looking away
[13:43] <+Wimpie> yay for useless convo's
[13:43] * +DorianGray doesn't care that ELV doesn't know DorianGray doesn't know ELV isn't looking at DorianGray looking at Wimpie looking away, because he doesn't care to look at ELV not looking at DorianGray looking at Wimpie looking away

January 2009

January 20

[12:50] <Jared_Artemesia> but in time the daimon breasts shall be mine
[12:50] <Delvin_at_Work> ...unless Prudent gets lightning bolted before you get the chance
[12:50] <Sacha> eh?
[12:51] <Jared_Artemesia> that would just be cruel to deny Jared his daimon boobs
[12:51] <Delvin_at_Work> I've informed Tom of the Daimon's player's belief that he has been appointed sole arbiter of who is allowed to live and who must die on Beluaterra
[12:51] <Sacha> lol
[12:51] <ELV> hahaa
[12:51] <ELV> nice delvin
[12:51] <Jared_Artemesia> doesn't delvin play prudent though?
[12:51] * ELV cheers wildly
[12:51] <Delvin_at_Work> ah...no
[12:51] <ELV> I may join riombara JUST for that
[12:51] <Delvin_at_Work> I play *Delvin*
[12:52] <Jared_Artemesia> huh
[12:52] <Jared_Artemesia> so who DOES play Prudent?
[12:52] <Jared_Artemesia> I thought it was you...?
[12:52] <Delvin_at_Work> the Daimons' player
[12:52] <Delvin_at_Work> nope
...
[12:58] <Thalathafn> you thought you were trying to touch timothy's boobs?

January 16

[13:22] <Thalathafn> bye
[13:22] * Ta|i waves
[13:22] * Ta|i has left #battlemaster
[13:22] <ELV> bye
[13:22] <ELV> damn
[13:24] <Reilwin> ELV: you FAIL
[13:24] <ELV> :'(
[13:24] <ELV> you big bully!
[13:25] <Reilwin> o.O
[13:25] <Reilwin> I'm not a bully!
[13:25] <Reilwin> A really bully would do something like this:
[13:25] * Reilwin slaps ELV around a little bit with a large trout
[13:25] <Reilwin> oh, say
[13:25] <Reilwin> that was fun
[13:25] <A8mew> People and trouts.
[13:25] * Reilwin slaps ELV around a little bit with a large trout ...again!
[13:25] * Reilwin slaps ELV around a little bit with a large trout ...and again!
[13:26] * ELV fights the big bully
[13:26] <Reilwin> :P
[13:26] <A8mew> Ever think of using a mackerel?
[13:26] * ELV slaps Reilwin with an umbilical cord
[13:26] <Reilwin> oh, good idea
[13:27] * Reilwin slaps ELV around a little bit with a large mackerel
[13:27] * ELV strangles Reilwin with reilwin's umbilical cord
[13:27] <Reilwin> o.O
[13:27] * ELV shoves reilwin's placenta down his throat for good measure
[13:28] <Reilwin> O.o
[13:28] <Reilwin> My, violent, aren't we?
[13:28] <A8mew> That's... unique.
[13:28] * Reilwin wonders who is the bully here...
[13:28] <A8mew> I've ground people into jelly and marketed it as a cure for cancer,
but never have I tried strangulation by umbilical cord.
[13:29] <Reilwin> the victim's own umbilical cord, no less
[13:29] <Veritek> That takes some prior planning
[13:29] <Veritek> Long distance planning....
[13:29] <ELV> muahaha
[13:30] <Reilwin> Veritek: well, you can do it as soon as a baby's born...
[13:30] <Reilwin> hmm...wonder what that makes ELV 
[13:30] <Reilwin> baby-killer?
[13:30] <Reilwin> hum
[13:30] <Veritek> Yeah, but that's not that impressive
[13:30] <Veritek> impressive is saving it until they're 45, then *then* doing it
...
[13:32] * Delvin_at_Work nudges Veritek and points at his jar

January 14

<Lorgan> I just lost a whole letter due to misclicking :(
* Aonui laughs.

January 13

[12:52] <Von-Ulthuan> i did something very funny the other day
[12:52] <Von-Ulthuan> we were out
...
[12:52] <Von-Ulthuan> and she touched my leg
[12:52] <Von-Ulthuan> and i screamed rape
[12:52] <Von-Ulthuan> ....
[12:52] <ELV> haha
[12:52] <Von-Ulthuan> then she's like shut up out of the corner of her mouth
[12:52] <DorianGray> lol
[12:53] <DorianGray> lol she hates you
[12:53] <DorianGray> sorry
[12:53] <Von-Ulthuan> and i'm like looking down and going ok ok whatever you say just don't hit me
[12:53] <DorianGray> screaming rape is one of the fastest ways to turn a situation awkward
[12:53] <Von-Ulthuan> yes but it was totally worth it
[12:53] <Von-Ulthuan> :)
[12:53] <Sacha> the fastest way is to actually rape her
[12:54] <DorianGray> +1 for sacha
[12:54] <ELV> lol@sacha
[12:54] <Von-Ulthuan> imagine that would be quite awekward
[12:54] <ELV> in fact, lmfao
[12:54] <ELV> "wait...oops?"
[12:54] <ELV> 'I meant to hug you!"
...
[12:54] <DorianGray> "oh that just slipped right up in there didn't it?"
[12:54] <Von-Ulthuan> "but i slipped

January 4

[19:15] <+Sacha> Used during Medieval Times, the Pear of Anguish was
an extremely painful device used to punish homosexuals, witches and 
women accused of inducing a miscarriage.
The Pear of Anguish had the shape of a pear; As a handle was turned, 
the spoon-shaped lobes opened; increasing pain. 
Even though the Pear of Anguish was mostly used for oral punishments, 
homosexuals had it fixed in their anus and women in their vagina. 
Causing severe pain, after this torture was employed on the mouth; 
the victim's teeth would get destroyed; 
making blood pour out of the victim's mouth often causing death.
If introduced in the anus or vagina, death was a step away. 
The Pear of Anguish was rarely washed, thus causing infections 
very frequently. If the victim didn't die by an infection however, 
he would die by other diseases caused by the severe damage of his 
or her intestines.
[19:16] <Thalathafn> ouch
[19:16] <Thalathafn> they should really wash it
[19:17] <+Sacha> to make the torture more humane? :p
[19:17] <Thalathafn> especially if they are using it for both ends
[19:17] <+Sacha> im guessing that if theres an expanding pear up your ass, 
cleanliness is the least of your concern