A badger is one of the most fearful creatures. Their natural habitat is in Atamara. They live as far south as Strombran, as far west as Cagil, and as far north as Brackhead. They don't dwell in the islands, mountains, badlands or desert. Small populations live in the fringes of Talerium and Darka. They are notorious for mauling people, and scratching things. They mostly congregate into hoards, where the damage they cause is more destructive than monsters or undead. The current Bane of Badgers is Xanio the Great. He is known for stopping two hoards from overrunning the tourney in Cagil. Badgers are notorious for appearing at tourneys. Small populations have been smuggled to Beluaterra, and SEI. Their mortal enemies are the giant man-eating bunnies who live in mountains.
First hand accounts of the Badger.
To defeat the Badger, we must first understand the badger. What is a Badger? What makes a Badger dangerous? What drives a Badger? Why are Badgers rampaging across Atamara?
A badger is furry woodland creature, once known for its affinity for mushrooms and fear of snakes. Also reputed to have endorsed a repetitive theme song... But that is a story for another day. Badgers now are creatures with claws and fangs and tend to maul people and eat peasants... And Xanio.
A badger is dangerous due to the fact that it rarely works alone. If you see one badger, thousands will likely follow. It also has fangs, that are known to secrete a hallucinogen similar to that found in Pancakes. It has claws and the uncanny ability to maul things... These are the weapons at disposal of badgers.
What drives a badger can be defined as simple murderous insanity and the urge for wanton destruction. And the hunger for flesh, lets not forget that.
Why are badgers rampaging across Atamara? Well, they were once a docile, peaceful animal. Then one day, a drunken Raziel2 fed a pack of badgers some pancakes. The results were disastrous. They became violent, and akin to the badgers we know today. They wiped out the peaceful badgers and began to replicate, creating more rabid badgers.
Badgers are horrible creatures, yet they have several odd characteristics that all should be aware of in order to combat this menace effectively.
- That's right, badgers are flammable. Their fur works much like kindling and can easily be set aflame while still on the living animal. With their habit of gathering in hoards, a few well placed torches can set the lot of them running towards the nearest river. However, this should be a last resort. Burning badger hair is not a pleasant smell. Especially the ones up north.
- (Honestly, living near vikings will do that to anyone.)
- Badgers have an irresistible desire to consume tree nuts, sap and nuts covered in sap. Convince a nearby drunkard to carry some with him and the hoard will be gone in no time. To a lesser extent, they will also go after other types of nuts, leading to the expression: "Run! They're after your nuts!" Males are advised to wear sturdy armor about the waist if badgers are near.
- Once they choose a target for their wrath, it is unlikely that they will abandon the chase for anything but nuts.
- Badgers are masters in the arts of moving unseen and unheard. It is common to realized that hundreds of them have scampered over, under, or through the largest of walls and past all manner of patrols and militia without attracting any attention. They will destroy all in their path only after this advance guard has been spotted or returns with their plunder of nuts.
Poetry of the Unknown Bard - Ode to the Badger on My Arse (often attributed to Willard Namtrah)