Avamar (Realm)/Storytelling
Contents
TALES OF AVAMAR
Story telling is a traditional custom of Avamarians and most nobles from time to time entertain each other inventing short stories, usually with a deepest meaning. Some of them, gathered by Doc-umentaries C.C with great care and love, are presented proudly below...
==East Side Water==
(As interpreted by Sir Amraedil)
"Once upon the time, the City of Avamar was under constant attacks by the vicious and lobotomised elves of Sirion. They had smashed their faces again and again in the strong walls of our City. After their last attack which actually ended with the massacre of elves, (as Avamar Times succesfully pointed out), Doccy decided to cease the agreesion and take advantage of his sneaky nature. The casualties of Sirion had been enormous up to that time and Doc couldn't perform his role as a bully to any other realms, nor help his last puppet state Old Rancagua which at the time was reduced to one region.
So his first idea was to poison our water reservoirs which are located in the East Side of Avamar, bordering to our father's land of Limbar and Elmbar, occupied now by the barbarian pointy-ears.
Unfortunately for him, fortunately for us, he used the most common poison he had in his inventory, the one he uses to wipe out of his way any elven opponents that may arise from time to time, argueing his supreme godly nature.
But the effects of the particular poison differes from race to race. So the fatal for elves liquid, had completely different implications to Drow Elves and to Humans.
To our surprise, we discovered that the reserved water was actually greatly enhanced after Doccy's attempt to poison us. It tasted much better, it was more efficient to combat thirst that tortured us during those dark days and it had become crystal clear, completely free of any dirt or organisms that could cause a disease!
The best part of all though, it was the side-effect of the enhanced water! The first people that tasted it, burst out to an uncontrollable laughter and then they left the city to slay some elves. The unique perosnality of Avamarians, their extreme sense of humour, their perverted sexual behaviour, their big mouth and talkative nature are all to be accredited in the enhanced East Side water which has gained a mythical reputation!
Strangely enough, Doc has never realised that and -as he is stubborn as a mule- he continues from time to time to "poison" our East Side water reservoirs which have been left unguarded since then, in order to facilitate his attempts!
For some strange reason as well, some Avamarians avoid the East Side water, missing the much pleasurable effects it has. That's why sometimes it may take days to hear a word from usually talkative nobles like Lord Kultan, Lady Eilonwy, Sir Tasadar and Lord One. But eventually, they all submit to this great "Potion of Life" as it is now commonly known between citizens!"
==Bard’s Tales==
A series of jokes are spreading within the continent… Recently, Bards coming from afar, have brought the funniest jokes and stories of E.Continent to Avamar. We copy the most successful of them for our readers:
Q. Which are the prerequisites to be accepted as a Sirion Troop Leader? A. To be lobotomized first! (in order to manage to withstand Doc's stupidity!)
Q. Which phrase is synonymous to “committed suicide”? A. “Allied to Sirion”!
Q. Which is the shortest joke in East Continet? A. Sirion’s Republic!!!
Q. How many Sirionites are needed to for their Republican council? A. All of them of course (currently 58)! After all Sirion is a TRUE Republic! So here is how the council is structured:
Six Sirionites to listen carefully to Doc’s speeches and commands
Six Sirionites to nod agreeing with Doc
Six Sirionites to flatter Doc for his wisdom
Six Sirionites to repeat to Doc “Don’t forget Avamar”
Six Sirionites to watch the others and check if they have the “proper submissive behaviour”
And the remaining 27 just to feel the empty chairs!
Ah! We forgot Doc! Well….not exactly, as Doc’s presence to the council is optional! Exactly the same procedures are taking place in front of his empty throne, even when he is absent!
== A spookie story! (from Avamar Times) ==
Recent reports from locals at the regional police station of Avamar, speaks about strange appearances of “ghosts”! According to witnesses, “spectral, eerie figures” of members of the old corrupted and tyrannical council of former W.Sirion, are roaming the streets of the city!
== A man named Bob (by Lady Julia and Lady Naira) ==
A man namned Bob finds Alexi on the ground, dying from a knife wound. He picks him up and takes him to the hospital. With great miracle, he survives.
One day Bob went to see Alexi, to see how he was doing. When he came into the room Alexi shouted, demanding to get a weapon from Bob! Bob didn´t want to give him a weapon but the nurse working there said that he should give Alexi the weapon.
He does. Alexi says nothing after he recieved the gun and Bob went home. Alexi then writes a threatening letter, demanding a bigger weapon and states that it is his right since Bob just bought a new house. However the new house went to his wife in the divorce but Alexi didn´t care about that. Alexi threatens to kill Bob with the weapon he gave him if he doesn´t get him the biger weapon. Alexi gets his big weapon and says nothing.
The next day, Alexi jumps out of the bushes and threatens Bob that he needs to hand over an extremely big weapon and a list of the people working inside of the hospital.
Bob agrees with Alexi and kindly asks him (as Bob has understand already that Alexi is completely out of his mind) to let him go back to his new home and bring the gun. So Bob goes back and calls urgently the hospital, explaining the whole situation! The nurse, who actually was a medical student as well, writing her thesis on the reactions of people like Alexi, under certain circumstances of total freedom, understood that this guy was not onlu nuts but actually very dangerous and not someone to "play" with!
So, the nurse having realised her mistake, she calls the department of mental diseases presenting them the case of Alexi...
Soon an ambulance arrives in Bob's house and the doctors, carrying a BIG syringe with a drug to relax Alexi and some ropes to tie him up. Alexi will find the proper treatement he needs,in a special care hospital aka Metal hospital, locked up in a white room and tied up on his bed until his sanity returns...if this ever happen!
== Hounding in Oporto ==
(Long enough for it's own page)
