Volcanic Hot Newsletter/December '06 issue
 Volcanic Hot Newsletter
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| Price: 1 gold | Creator: Crescent | December '06 issue |
| Comments from Darkans | |
17 December 2006 Yeti, Count of Wistir, said: "I find it most interesting to read the intercepted messages that Lady Lavigna sent to the rest of the realm. RedSpan seems to be a mindless place where beasts rule, much like our own Vatticus personal psyche. They constantly wave their arms in the air and beckon us to come. Then turn around and make sure their "friends" in the area support them. Truly this is not the conduct of a brave and mighty people, but that of a small child looking to an older sibling for help. Now where is Da Goat with Da Milk for Da Kids? Da?" 16 December 2006 Obidan, Knight of Tolhuar said of the RS war: "I think it's a trap by RS and SA to trap us on Darka's tongue and wipe it a bit clean. They surely did act in a way to...well...excite or tempt us to go to their lands, so this might very well be a conspriracy by escalating a matter to a higher level so that Darka falls."
Juan, Knight of Mayxcal, said: "As a human being trying to survive in this violent land, I feel sorry for our Redspan brethen. Nothing is more disheartening than coming home to an ugly woman. While I have never seen an unattractive female in Darka, I can only imagine the horror and frustration Redspanians feel every night and day. All men have needs that require relief, afterall. I only pray that Redspan's Nobles give proper consideration to the Goats that provide them alternative service. Selfishness towards one's partner is a cruelty Billy G. does not deserve. A little extra corn and maybe some vaseline can go a long way in a philotherian affair. ...and be nice to the wife at home too." 14 December 2006 Lady Lavigna, Arch Priestess of Darka, Countess of Tolhuar, said: "I believe that the terrible smell of goats has affected their brains and has transformed them in non-thinking humans, which subsequently led to their poor attempts at propaganda. They assasinated our Banker and led themselves in this war for which they begged our King to reconsider, and now they pretend to be the macho heroes that challenge us to go and fight them? Silly goats,they found as allies the sheeps of their Federation and think they can be infront of our mighty army." |
| Failed Assassination attempt! | |
17 December 2006 RedSpan has once again sent their infiltrators to assassinate Lady Lavigna, Arch Priestess of Darka. The assassin has proven to be Finegus, a lowly assassin from RedSpan. The assassination attempt took place in Eurotan at night. Lady Lavigna was sleeping when she heard the sound of a twig snapping. Knowing that all her troops are asleep, Lavigna readied a dagger. She turned around to face her assassin but the shadows covered his face. After a brief clash, the assasin escaped when Lavigna's guards awoke. Sources from the secret police reveals that Finegus was behind this. Lady Lavigna has expressed her intention to torture Finegus whether he was banned or not, as the lowly infiltrator has bugged Darka for too long. Finegus, apparently, showed interest in the 200 gold bounty on Lavigna's head, proving RedSpan's greed. |
| Finegus caught! | |
17 December 2006 Just hours after lowly infiltrator Finegus attempted to take Lady Lavigna's life, Lavigna's guards arrested Finegus as he tried to leave Eurotan. Lavigna has already expressed her intention to torture Finegus and she will keep her word. Finegus will not leave Darka's dungeons unharmed. Only Sigrid can save him now, but I don't think Sigrid will waste her time on a goat. |
| High Priest of Darka! | |
16 December 2006 Easy, formerly Count of Maycxal, stepped down from his position to be a priest for the realm's religion, Darkanism. He was appointed High Priest of Darkanism by Founder of Darkanism Paradigm. May Sigrid and Loratil bless him as he risks his life spreading their profound teachings. |
