Tribal Rag/September2010

Tribal Rag

Strong, Proud and Fierce!

Printed in Chocxal		September 2010 Edition

Gossip and Slander 19 September 2010 - Slaymaster Seeks Slayers Roleplay from Sun Tzu Slaymaster Message sent to everyone in your realm (24 recipients) Sir Sun Tzu walked briskly to the recruitment centres to look for some harden warriors to go battle alongside him. He headed straight for the stables as he enjoys going into battles with cavalrymen and charge headlong to lob off the heads of his enemies with his mighty axes. He saw many of the horses there but was not satisfy with their quality. Most were swift and he can see they have enough muscles to move at the speed required for attack but they were dumb stupid type of horses that do not have the intelligence to quickly follow commands for evasive movements in defence. Their armour was also of particular poor quality and in one inspection, Sun Tzu did one swift kick at a horse with its armour on and the horse died on him. 'Bah', Sun Tzu cursed, 'Dumb ponies'. After spending the whole evening looking at all the horses, Sun Tzu finally settled on the Sky Lancers. 'These will have to do', spits Sun Tzu as he mounts one of the horses. 'Give me these six and five riders to go with them. I want the best riders ya can find and ones that can swing a blade well. Be swift about it or I'll punch ya in the face', Sun Tzu growled at the recruiter. 'and really when ya can get ya finger out, go look for some better breeds'. 'Yes, m'lord... I will.. I will... That... that will be thirty five gold coins Sir...' the recruiter whimpered. 'Darn it!' cursed Sun Tzu, 'the ferry men took me gold. I'll be back peasant. Keep these horses for me or I'll punch ya in the face if I don't find them 'ere when I am back.' 19/20 September 2010 - Sun Tzu's Seeks Income. Oath Offered Lord 1 is offering you an oath of fealty. You can become a knight of his region POVERTY if you are willing to pledge your service in exchange for 35 % of the Region's tax income. You can accept or reject the offer on your Oath Offers page. Letter from Lord 2 Well I am not a border region but my region could use a new knight. Lord 2 Letter from Sun Tzu Slaymaster (Personal message to Lord 2) Lord 2, I would like to enquire what percentage income I can get from serving Region X? I am a greedy man that needs much gold to spend on women, beer and weapons. Regards, Sun Tzu Slaymaster (Noble) Letter from Solak Marioneaux Sir Sun Tzu, Welcome to Talerium. We are always in need of strong warriors here in the desert, and I have a feeling you would enjoy our fuzzy bunny hunts, although we are on the brink of war. I can arrange for suitable accommodations for you in Axtli if you desire, although Lord 3 is in deeper need of a knight. Solak Marioneaux Finance Minister of Talerium, Viscount of Axtli, Marshal of the Home Guard Letter from Sun Tzu Slaymaster (Personal message to Solak Marioneaux) Dear Finance Minister Solak, Thank you for your warm welcome and I am glad to hear the news for the tides of war. Whenever I hear the call for war, I feel great happiness and joy to be able to swing my mighty axes and lop heads of me enemies. What would the percentage of income receive from serving you? I am a greedy.. err.. I mean a man with a voracious appetite with much gold needed to be spent on women, beer and different types of weapons to kill me enemies in multitude of ways. I'll probably need gold that weight a small pony to just satisfy my thirst for me beers alone. Whenever I am drunk, I seem to fight better and think I am invincible in battle. Strong, Proud and Fierce, Sun Tzu Slaymaster (Noble) Letter from Lord 2 I can offer you (NOT ENOUGH)% of the regions income right now. There is a chance that I raise it up after you serve the realm for so long. Also I will give you the money to enlarge your estates as well. Lord 2 Oath Offered Lord 2 is offering you an oath of fealty. You can become a knight of his region X if you are willing to pledge your service in exchange for (NOT ENOUGH) % of the Region's tax income. You can accept or reject the offer on your Oath Offers page. Letter from Solak Marioneaux Sir Sun Tzu, As much as I would enjoy having a knight, I have other motives to keep in mind, the principal being maintaining the food production which has slumped due to knights going missing. I will personally pay you xxx gold to be in Lord 3's employ because of this. Solak Marioneaux Finance Minister of Talerium, Viscount of Axtli, Marshal of the Home Guard Letter from Sun Tzu Slaymaster (Personal message to Solak Marioneaux) Finance Minister Solak, How much percentage of the regional income would I get for serving the region? The problem with Lord 3's region is that it ..(sensitive information)...and I don't get a cut of the food production. It is not really one off gold I am looking for but a sizeable gold income to support my troops weekly and my beer money. Oh and the hookers. I have a large appetite there as well. Always need to have a wild party to de-stress coming back from war. Don't do it before though as it seems to weaken me and I don't kill as many people if I have a party beforehand. Wild, Fierce, Proud, Sun Tzu Slaymaster (Noble) Letter from Solak Marioneaux Sir Sun Tzu, How much Lord 3 gives you is business between you and him, but should it prove unsatisfactory for you I can send some extra gold whenever I visit a city to help out. Solak Marioneaux Finance Minister of Talerium, Viscount of Axtli, Marshal of the Home Guard Letter from Sun Tzu Slaymaster Message sent to: Lord 3 Lord 3, The Finance Minister Solak informed me that you might require a knight to serve your region. My service is not cheap though. I am looking for a boat load of gold to spend every week on women, lots of beer and weapons. I would do lots of fighting with the locals people myself to put them in their place and organise a well good police force to slap up the local peasants and make them work like slaves to produce as much gold and food for the realm... ten times what a normal knight that is a bit soft would get for you. So that is like ten boats of gold every week. Regards, Sun Tzu Slaymaster (Noble) To be continue... 19 September 2010 - Would be Assassin Found Not Guilty by Court! Dear Desert warriors of Talerium, In the case of the assassination of Duke Keppler, Duke of Metemec and the trial against xxxx. The court of Talerium has come to a decision. Based on the lack of evidence to underline the guilt of xxxx, the court has closed the investigation without any result. The guilt of xxxx could not be confirmed and therefore all charges against him are dropped. xxxx you are a free man and the court apologize for all inconvenience we have caused you. Unfortunately the case is cold and we could not find the assassin that stroke Duke Keppler. Sir Dead Angel WG Vermeer Grand Justiciar of Talerium, Viscount of Chohua 18 September 2010 - Sun Tzu Joins Talerium - Land of the Desert Warriors! Letter from Sun Tzu Slaymaster Message sent to everyone in your realm (24 recipients) Tribesmen of Talerium, I am Sun Tzu Slaymaster, the great great great great great great great great grandson of Slayer Slaymaster, the greatest warrior of all time. I came from the East Continent having fought in many wars and now looking for a new home. Let me tell you something about myself: My enemies are many and they say I am bloodthirsty, hot tempered, troublesome, argumentative.. I am not.. big mouthed buffoon .. and some even called me sadistic... though I don't actually know what that means but it doesn't sound very nice. But my friends... actually... they say the same thing... anyways.... I like to think I am just misunderstood and I blame the fact that I came from a broken home... my castle was really run down. And I blame my parents of course. In my spare time I like to fight whether with my bare fists after a drink at the tavern or with me axe in a crowded market in broad daylight against five people... I don't really care. I just like to fight preferably drink at the same time. I like to drink a lot. I also like to hunt cute furry animals and kill them with my bare hands and even tortur.. err.. play with them before I kill them. I really enjoy kill' especially if it were particularly bloody. I can also pull an oak tree up from the ground and kill a horse with a single punch. I am strong. Anyway, who can give me a sack of gold to get some men for fightin'? Any Lords in border regions require a true true warrior like me? Strong, Proud and Fierce, Sun Tzu Slaymaster (Noble) Letter from Kepler Dolohov Welcome to Talerium, warrior. Kepler Dolohov Duke of Metemec Letter from Elroy Anderbliss Message sent to everyone in your realm (24 recipients) Sun Tzu, Thank you for the comic relief, as this realm is in dire need of some good humor. Elroy Anderbliss (Knight of Ixcan) Letter from Sun Tzu Slaymaster Message sent to everyone in your realm (24 recipients) Thanks you Duke Kepler and Sir Elroy, Knight of Ixcan for the welcome. Why is there a dire need for good humour? Is it due to the bitter desert storms that is gettin' people down or has there been a lot or arguments lately? Maybe I have found my soul brothers if ya lot can argue as good as me. I have foul mouth, argue with myself at times and can even argue with a stone wall. I hope to trade some insults with a few of you over some beers and maybe a spot of mud wrestling as well. I always like to show off my strength whenever I can. Sun Tzu Slaymaster (Noble)