Tribal Rag/September2010

Tribal Rag

Strong, Proud and Fierce!

Printed in Chocxal	Talerium - Atamara	September 2010 Edition

Gossip and Slander 25 September 2010 - Opening up the School of Slaymaster for all your worldly Questions to Life, the Universe and everythink. Anybody that is in need of help with any questions on life, the universe and everything, I, Sir Sun Tzu Slaymaster will be able to answer all your questions and will not give you an answer of 42. Please just post the questions below and I'll respond when I can be bovered. Dear Sir Sun Tzu Slaymaster, I have just joined the realm. What should I do now? Anon Greetings Young Padwen, The first thing you need to do is to introduce yourself to the realm. Nobody really reads your intro but it is just a good way to let people know you are not a spy in the realm. So you can write anything you like but make sure you ask for a Liege Lord 'cos you need gold and lots of it. Now to find a good Liege Lord, all you need to do is to read my 19/20 September 2010 diary entry below and you will see the perfect way to go about getting a good income. A lot of times, some stuffy realm organiser would try to designated a region for you to serve. In my case, it actually worked out for me. But if you feel the income you are offered is that to make you a slave, then don't be afraid to reject him and show him your palm. In this current time, there are a lack of nobles in most realms so you can be quite picky about which lord to serve. If they still can't provide you with good income, go and join another realm. Commit suicide and have your brother or sister go somewhere else or emigrate if you can. But make sure before you leave, write to the whole realm and give them a piece of your mind about what greedy sods they all are and that you will tell everybody of the poverty of their realm so nobody will go there. That should hopefully make them feel bad about themselves. Now the best thing to do is to check where you can get a decent income yourself and which lord you can try to approach to give you a boat of gold. Go to -> Information -> Realms and Regions -> Then you will have to painstakingly go through each region to see which regions have few or no knights serving the region. -> Details and under the politics tab to see how many knights there are serving there. You would preferably want to serve a region that has a high gold income so at least 300 gold upwards. Forget about serving a region with a few hundred gold and leave the chumps to collect slave wages. You are better than that and you know it. The percentage of oath offered will be a roughly a percentage of the regions gold income you will get weekly. The only other thing to take in account of is that there isn't a lot of militia in the region that will suck up your gold and preferably have no militia in the region. But a rough guide is to just look at the percentage of the gold that the region generates. You should also ask your Liege Lord to cough up to upgrade your estate. If he doesn't do that then threaten him with leaving your estate idle or serve another lord. That should show the stingy git not to mess with you and try to make you his slave. Afterwards, travel to the Capital and recruit some troops. Drop the crappy troops you have on you when you came to the realm and go get some archers that are ranged 4 and with the best weapons. Later on when you are more well known, it is best to change to cavalry for battles against other realms. But for now, archers are best 'cos you don't have to pay as much for refitting and can save up on gold. Well, that is it for now. Go get yourself an income and once you are at the capital, if you need any more help then send me 50 gold per question and I'll give you more of my worldly wisdom. Wise, Proud, Fierce, Sir Sun Tzu Slaymaster 19/20 September 2010 - Sun Tzu's Seeks Income. Oath Offered Lord 1 is offering you an oath of fealty. You can become a knight of his region POVERTY if you are willing to pledge your service in exchange for 35 % of the Region's tax income. You can accept or reject the offer on your Oath Offers page. Letter from Lord 2 Well I am not a border region but my region could use a new knight. Lord 2 Letter from Sun Tzu Slaymaster (Personal message to Lord 2) Lord 2, I would like to enquire what percentage income I can get from serving Region X? I am a greedy man that needs much gold to spend on women, beer and weapons. Regards, Sun Tzu Slaymaster (Noble) Letter from Solak Marioneaux Sir Sun Tzu, Welcome to Talerium. We are always in need of strong warriors here in the desert, and I have a feeling you would enjoy our fuzzy bunny hunts, although we are on the brink of war. I can arrange for suitable accommodations for you in Axtli if you desire, although Lord 3 is in deeper need of a knight. Solak Marioneaux Finance Minister of Talerium, Viscount of Axtli, Marshal of the Home Guard Letter from Sun Tzu Slaymaster (Personal message to Solak Marioneaux) Dear Finance Minister Solak, Thank you for your warm welcome and I am glad to hear the news for the tides of war. Whenever I hear the call for war, I feel great happiness and joy to be able to swing my mighty axes and lop heads of me enemies. What would the percentage of income receive from serving you? I am a greedy.. err.. I mean a man with a voracious appetite with much gold needed to be spent on women, beer and different types of weapons to kill me enemies in multitude of ways. I'll probably need gold that weight a small pony to just satisfy my thirst for me beers alone. Whenever I am drunk, I seem to fight better and think I am invincible in battle. Strong, Proud and Fierce, Sun Tzu Slaymaster (Noble) Letter from Lord 2 I can offer you (NOT ENOUGH)% of the regions income right now. There is a chance that I raise it up after you serve the realm for so long. Also I will give you the money to enlarge your estates as well. Lord 2 Oath Offered Lord 2 is offering you an oath of fealty. You can become a knight of his region X if you are willing to pledge your service in exchange for (NOT ENOUGH) % of the Region's tax income. You can accept or reject the offer on your Oath Offers page. Letter from Solak Marioneaux Sir Sun Tzu, As much as I would enjoy having a knight, I have other motives to keep in mind, the principal being maintaining the food production which has slumped due to knights going missing. I will personally pay you xxx gold to be in Lord 3's employ because of this. Solak Marioneaux Finance Minister of Talerium, Viscount of Axtli, Marshal of the Home Guard Letter from Sun Tzu Slaymaster (Personal message to Solak Marioneaux) Finance Minister Solak, How much percentage of the regional income would I get for serving the region? The problem with Lord 3's region is that it ..(sensitive information)...and I don't get a cut of the food production. It is not really one off gold I am looking for but a sizeable gold income to support my troops weekly and my beer money. Oh and the hookers. I have a large appetite there as well. Always need to have a wild party to de-stress coming back from war. Don't do it before though as it seems to weaken me and I don't kill as many people if I have a party beforehand. Wild, Fierce, Proud, Sun Tzu Slaymaster (Noble) Letter from Solak Marioneaux Sir Sun Tzu, How much Lord 3 gives you is business between you and him, but should it prove unsatisfactory for you I can send some extra gold whenever I visit a city to help out. Solak Marioneaux Finance Minister of Talerium, Viscount of Axtli, Marshal of the Home Guard Letter from Sun Tzu Slaymaster Message sent to: Lord 3 Lord 3, The Finance Minister Solak informed me that you might require a knight to serve your region. My service is not cheap though. I am looking for a boat load of gold to spend every week on women, lots of beer and weapons. I would do lots of fighting with the locals people myself to put them in their place and organise a well good police force to slap up the local peasants and make them work like slaves to produce as much gold and food for the realm... ten times what a normal knight that is a bit soft would get for you. So that is like ten boats of gold every week. Regards, Sun Tzu Slaymaster (Noble) Oath Offered Brandor Whitestone, Earl of Cantril is offering you an oath of fealty. You can become a knight of his region Cantril if you are willing to pledge your service in exchange for (OMG LOADS OF MONEY, I AM FILTHY RICH AND CAN RETIRE FOR LIFE) % of the Region's tax income. You can accept or reject the offer on your Oath Offers page. Letter from Brandor Whitestone Sir Sun Tzu, I am quite happy to pay you a great amount of golf for your service. I have actually already sent you an offer of (DISGUSTING AMOUNT OF GOLD)% of the region taxes! I think you might as well consider it. Yours Brandor Whitestone Earl of Cantril Letter from Sun Tzu Slaymaster (Personal message to Brandor Whitestone) Earl Brandor, By the Gods! The oath is eye watering and I certainly would be able to rut for everyday of the week on this most generous offer of income. I would be unable to walk by the end of the week even by my manly standards. I might be greedy and love the gold coin more than any man I know but would be embarrassed to take (INSANE AMOUNT OF GOLD). May I have (A BOAT OF GOLD)% instead so that I don't take (SO MANY GOLD COINS THAT I CAN SWIM IN IT)? I'll forever give you my loyalty till the end of days and will even fight for you in my afterlife. Rich, Proud, Fierce, Sun Tzu Slaymaster (Noble) Oath Accepted Brandor Whitestone, Earl of Cantril has accepted your offer of fealty. You are now a knight of his region and will receive (A BOAT OF GOLD) % of the regional tax income for your services. Letter from Brandor Whitestone Sir Sun Tzu, This is a great pleasure to have you by my side, and to know I can really count on you. I am going to send you 100 gold in bonds to get you started with your new estate. Once you have retrieve the gold from the bank, please join me in my trip to Cantril. Once there, we should be able to work together to put the region back at work, as this is very much needed. Yours, Brandor Whitestone Earl of Cantril Letter from Sun Tzu Slaymaster (Personal message to Brandor Whitestone) Earl Brandor, Yes m'lord. I have recruited forty nine men and will be in Cantril in a day. Stronger, Prouder, Fiercer, Sun Tzu Slaymaster (Knight of Cantril) 19 September 2010 - Slaymaster Seeks Slayers Roleplay from Sun Tzu Slaymaster Message sent to everyone in your realm (24 recipients) Sir Sun Tzu walked briskly to the recruitment centres to look for some harden warriors to go battle alongside him. He headed straight for the stables as he enjoys going into battles with cavalrymen and charge headlong to lob off the heads of his enemies with his mighty axes. He saw many of the horses there but was not satisfy with their quality. Most were swift and he can see they have enough muscles to move at the speed required for attack but they were dumb stupid type of horses that do not have the intelligence to quickly follow commands for evasive movements in defence. Their armour was also of particular poor quality and in one inspection, Sun Tzu did one swift kick at a horse with its armour on and the horse died on him. 'Bah', Sun Tzu cursed, 'Dumb ponies'. After spending the whole evening looking at all the horses, Sun Tzu finally settled on the Sky Lancers. 'These will have to do', spits Sun Tzu as he mounts one of the horses. 'Give me these six and five riders to go with them. I want the best riders ya can find and ones that can swing a blade well. Be swift about it or I'll punch ya in the face', Sun Tzu growled at the recruiter. 'and really when ya can get ya finger out, go look for some better breeds'. 'Yes, m'lord... I will.. I will... That... that will be thirty five gold coins Sir...' the recruiter whimpered. 'Darn it!' cursed Sun Tzu, 'the ferry men took me gold. I'll be back peasant. Keep these horses for me or I'll punch ya in the face if I don't find them 'ere when I am back.' 19 September 2010 - Would be Assassin Found Not Guilty by Court! Dear Desert warriors of Talerium, In the case of the assassination of Duke Keppler, Duke of Metemec and the trial against xxxx. The court of Talerium has come to a decision. Based on the lack of evidence to underline the guilt of xxxx, the court has closed the investigation without any result. The guilt of xxxx could not be confirmed and therefore all charges against him are dropped. xxxx you are a free man and the court apologize for all inconvenience we have caused you. Unfortunately the case is cold and we could not find the assassin that stroke Duke Keppler. Sir Dead Angel WG Vermeer Grand Justiciar of Talerium, Viscount of Chohua 18 September 2010 - Sun Tzu Joins Talerium - Land of the Desert Warriors! Letter from Sun Tzu Slaymaster Message sent to everyone in your realm (24 recipients) Tribesmen of Talerium, I am Sun Tzu Slaymaster, the great great great great great great great great grandson of Slayer Slaymaster, the greatest warrior of all time. I came from the East Continent having fought in many wars and now looking for a new home. Let me tell you something about myself: My enemies are many and they say I am bloodthirsty, hot tempered, troublesome, argumentative.. I am not.. big mouthed buffoon .. and some even called me sadistic... though I don't actually know what that means but it doesn't sound very nice. But my friends... actually... they say the same thing... anyways.... I like to think I am just misunderstood and I blame the fact that I came from a broken home... my castle was really run down. And I blame my parents of course. In my spare time I like to fight whether with my bare fists after a drink at the tavern or with me axe in a crowded market in broad daylight against five people... I don't really care. I just like to fight preferably drink at the same time. I like to drink a lot. I also like to hunt cute furry animals and kill them with my bare hands and even tortur.. err.. play with them before I kill them. I really enjoy kill' especially if it were particularly bloody. I can also pull an oak tree up from the ground and kill a horse with a single punch. I am strong. Anyway, who can give me a sack of gold to get some men for fightin'? Any Lords in border regions require a true true warrior like me? Strong, Proud and Fierce, Sun Tzu Slaymaster (Noble) Letter from Kepler Dolohov Welcome to Talerium, warrior. Kepler Dolohov Duke of Metemec Letter from Elroy Anderbliss Message sent to everyone in your realm (24 recipients) Sun Tzu, Thank you for the comic relief, as this realm is in dire need of some good humor. Elroy Anderbliss (Knight of Ixcan) Letter from Sun Tzu Slaymaster Message sent to everyone in your realm (24 recipients) Thanks you Duke Kepler and Sir Elroy, Knight of Ixcan for the welcome. Why is there a dire need for good humour? Is it due to the bitter desert storms that is gettin' people down or has there been a lot or arguments lately? Maybe I have found my soul brothers if ya lot can argue as good as me. I have foul mouth, argue with myself at times and can even argue with a stone wall. I hope to trade some insults with a few of you over some beers and maybe a spot of mud wrestling as well. I always like to show off my strength whenever I can. Sun Tzu Slaymaster (Noble)