The Elven Chronicle/October'10

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The Elven Chronicle

The Best Selling Newspaper on East Continent
<-- The Elven Chronicle/September'10
October 2010 Edition


War Reports from Around East Continent


Icon Sirion.png    October 5, 2010    Icon Sirion.png
Braga Attacked. Sirionite Troops Unopposed.
Back on the war front, Braga has been attacked by Sirionite troops with many regions of Fontan lightly defended as parts of Fontanese army gathered at Al Amarah trying to bring the region back up from the rogue state it was in.


The recapture of Al Amarah was probably not a good move since it has vast population of 11443 to feed and will surely exacerbate their food supply problem that is already affecting many regions of Fontan.


The fact that Al Amarah is far out from their capital and closer to Sirion means it could be easily attacked again and all their civic work and maintenance in the region would be wasted. Fortification in Al Amarah has been rebuilt to motte and bailey for now so it looks like Fontan will try to keep hold of the region.



Icon Sirion.png    October 4, 2010    Icon Sirion.png
Retirement Home Needed for A Debilitated Senile Old Man
Sabotage!

An explosion shook the fortifications in Trinbar, doing 10 % damage! Fortunately, the guards spotted someone trying to flee the scene, and after a short pursuit, throw Zartos ut Daris, apparently a saboteur working for Fontan into prison.


The Elven Chronicle is seeking retirement home for a much loved but debilitated senile old man and would also require maids for assisted baths and skills of bedpan usage for the disable. The precipitous fall of grace of the formerly infamous, but now a Z-list infiltrator, Sir Zartos has shocked us all at The Elven Chronicle and a little of us die a bit inside every time we see his bumbling attempt at his infiltrating activities.

In this painful time for us all, we ask people to give a little thought to our elderly and that each one of us will get to be elderly one day and unable to relieve ourselves without the assistance of others.



Icon Sirion.png    October 3, 2010    Icon Sirion.png
Traitors' Army - The Obsidian Cavaliers
Once again, Fontan is shown to be the number one place for all evil doers to join their realm with traitors from OI joining Fontan and forming 'The Obsidian Cavaliers - The Order of Turncoats'.


Marshalled by Cesera Azul, former Marshal of The Army of Obsidian Islands, and with Sir Sirius Drakon as her Second-in-Command, Sirionite commanders giggle at the news since they have lost all their battles previously and they will now be leading Fontan's troops - hopefully with the same reults.



Icon Sirion.png    October 2, 2010    Icon Sirion.png
The Axis of Evil Formed
In a not unpredictable turn of events, the three evillest realms on East Continent - Fontan, SoA and Westmoor have made it official into forming the Axis of Evil and have gone into a federation with each other.


Sirionite Lords are calling the rest of the world for aid and for all able bodied warriors to join our good and light realm to fight against the growing darkness and putrefying evilness of this Axis.


A New Federation - The realms of Sultanate of Asena and Westmoor have announced that they now form a federation.

A New Federation - The realms of Fontan and Westmoor have announced that they now form a federation.



Icon Sirion.png    October 2, 2010    Icon Sirion.png
Sir Facade Slaymaster Wins Award for The Elven Chronicle
Sir Facade Slaymaster, Editor of The Elven Chronicle, the best selling newspaper on East Continent, is this year's recipient of the prestiges Fun Medal Award, which honours outstanding achievement in the field of investigative reporting.


Members of the Writer's Guild points to Sir Facade's commercial, critical and realm-wide success of his paper since its inception and said he is a worthy recipient, adding even as a young editor, his name was 'joker', which might have hinted at his masterpieces to come.


In his acceptance speech, Sir Facade paid tribute to the people that helped him achieve his dreams. He said that when he began writing, he felt as if he was standing on the shoulders of giants. Now he stood shoulders to shoulders with them.


'I am delighted to be admitted to this selected group of Fun people. To be awarded the Fun Medal is a distinction every writer dreams of. It has been an amazing month to win my first medal. But my readers can be reassured about one thing - I am not about to rest on my laurels. There are still plenty of mountains for me to climb.'


The guild leader of the writer's guild said 'The Fun Medal acknowledges the work of the writer who has made an outstanding contribute to fun - you know, he is a funny guy.


'Sir Facade is a worthy winner whose work has entertained and thrilled billions and trillions of readers as well as many more who have enjoyed his Breaking News Specials that have inspired.'


'The recipient of the Fun Medal is chosen by members and committee of the writer's guild and is very much an honour awarded by the writer's peers and this makes it special... like super special.'



Icon Sirion.png    October 2, 2010    Icon Sirion.png
Miracle Occurrence - The Gods Looks Favourably on Sirion Once More
The infamous but old dilapidated Sir Zartos, Fontanese Infiltrator, attacked one of our newest Knights in Sirion - Sir Zidane Soulja, Knight of Rollbar. The cowardly act on a young noble has not been seen favourable by the Gods and Sir Zidane immediately recovered from a miracle in the vile and despicable attack.


You were attacked!

You are surprised by a dark figure suddenly emerging from the shadows just as you are going to sleep. Desperate, you take out a dagger, the only weapon within reach, and face your attacker. The attacker cuts through your defenses, and sinks the blade into your body twice before running away, seriously wounding you. The guards are unable to prevent the attacker's escape.


Miracle

You were bleeding, losing sight and consciousness, when faint litanies began to ring above your head, from somewhere up in the air. You couldn't make anything intelligible out of the chants, but you did feel surprisingly soothed. When you wake up, the healer informs you about your incredible recovering rate, and is perplexed by what you claim to have heard of. (OOC: New player protection.)


Sirionite nobles should expect more attacks by Sir Zartos especially on our young noble knights now that his skills have gone. All young Sirionite knights needs to be vigilant against this tattered crusty old man with yellow mangled fingers.



Icon Sirion.png    October 1, 2010    Icon Sirion.png
EXPOSED: Judge Erik is NOT an Elf and Faking to be an Elf to Boost his Chances with Elvish Ladies
Letter from Erik Eyolf Serpentis

Message sent to everyone in your realm

Sir Facade,

I don't know nothing about the disease you are talking about. My uncle was an elf, my son is an elf and all my family descend from elves. At least the part of my family that descend from Sirion lands.

My family have three Great Elders. They seek different continents to spread our blood. The first Great Elder was born in Sirion.

If we really have a disease here, I am a blessed one, because my children still being born.

Erik Eyolf Serpentis

Judge of Sirion, Marquis of Trinbar


LIES. The Elven Chronicle investigative reporter has found out that Judge Erik Eyolf Serpentis is not an elf since he was born later than the time the Gods cursed the elves and elven seeds worked no more.

He might have pointy ears with a lithe and slender frame but he is pretending to be an elf for the reason of boosting his chances with elvish ladies as we all know from his numerous boasting of the elvish women he has conquered and bedded. Elven Ladies, do not fall for the charms of the Judge Erik. We repeat, he is NOT an elf.

The only true elves are those reported in The Elven Chronicle below. Anybody else claiming to be an elf is a fraud and should be looked at with suspicion.



Icon Sirion.png    October 1, 2010    Icon Sirion.png
BREAKING NEWS: The Last Elves
It appears it was the Gods that have cursed the Elves towards extinction and the wizard was merely the medium through which the Gods have used its powers. Magic surrounds Sirion, not just in the rivers but in the air and even in the rocks.


There are only five Elven Families left, Elves that came from the old blood and impervious to the curse by the Gods. But once their family line dies, then the Elven race is truly extinct.


The Last Five Elven Families are:

Duke Alexander of the Acies Dux Ducis Family

Duke Ecthelion, formerly known as Circle, of the Tezokian Family

Sir Dimarus of the Granlin Family

Duke Handow, of the Meadowcrest Family

Sir Olaf, of the Stormblade Family


May they live forever, be safe in battles, impervious to diseases and sire many children till the end of days.



Icon Sirion.png    October 1, 2010    Icon Sirion.png
Time Shift - Sun Rise at Night and Sets at Day
The world shifted on its axis and north pole has become south pole and south pole has become north pole. Day has become night and night has become day. Nobody knows for what reason this has occurred that twelve hours of time has gone missing (OOC: Server Downtime due to hosting center). Would the time change back to before or would we need to adjust our sleeping patterns again?


Productivity has gone down across the board as people has turn into work late with many peasants starting only to plough their fields at midday instead of from sunrise. It has become such a problem that a few Lords have taken to hiring gangs of thugs to beat up any peasants that are not bringing in their share of food.

Unfortunately, the gangs of thugs could not get up either and slept in even later than usual.