Plergoth Press/Issue Six

http://wiki.battlemaster.org/images/Plergoth.png The Plergoth Press
Bring in Valhalla's head, get a lifetime subscription!	Editor: Mendrugo	Issue Six, July
The main propaganda sheet and newspaper of Plergoth!

The Scoreboard

July 1, 1007 | By: Mendrugo

A running count of damage inflicted by each side in the ongoing Plergothian Civil War (and the Monster/Undead/Daimon conflict) in the month of July.

July Summary:
Battles won: 1
Battles lost: 1
Casualties inflicted: 9
Casualties suffered: 24

Plergoth:
Daimons killed or wounded: 3
Monsters killed or wounded: 6

Netherworld:
Plergothian soldiers killed or wounded: 22

Monster Swarm:
Plergothian soldiers killed or wounded: 2

Battles Included in the Above Count: 2 (Victory Count)
Cwellndell: 1 (Plergoth: 0, Netherworld: 1)
Ypsilanti: 1 (Plergoth: 1, Monster Swarm: 0)

Election Results

July 1, 1007 | By: Mendrugo

The assembled nobles of Plergoth today gathered in Creasur (or sent their votes by proxy from the field) and decided upon who should lead the realm through this dark time. The results are as follows:

Chancellor: VonGarrett
Minister of Defense: Mistweave
Supreme Judge: Aravan
Minister of Finances: Blurk

Undead Entering Plergoth Lands

July 1, 1007 | By: Mendrugo

In the wake of the establishment of peaceful relations with the Necromancer's Servants, a large contingent of zombies under the command of the Dreadlord Sally has been sighted entering Plergoth through the eastern region of Eg Tutnu. As per the treaty, we welcome their peaceful, low-impact presence in our lands, and wish them well in their quest to destroy the agents of the Netherworld, Monster Swarm, and the realm of Vlaanderen.

Dreadlord Sally Guest in Creasur

July 2, 1007 | By: Mendrugo

In a scene that would have been unthinkable just weeks ago, an envoy of the Necromancer has arrived in Creasur at the head of a shambling horde of unliving thralls and, rather than being confronted by a wall of living armsmen, they have been welcomed under the flag of peace. The Dreadlord Sally, resplendent in a...erm...tattered burial shroud was, in life, apparently a woman of great beauty and high nobility. Her features are, where they've not...ah...rotted away, still quite a lovely hue of yellowish green, not unlike late summer grasses. Her stalwart soldiers, some of whom still bear the tattered uniforms of Enweilish and Fwugvhorian armsmen, displayed remarkable discipline, marching with as much precision as can be demanded from corpses reanimated by the dark...that is to say...powerful magicks of the Necromancer. And while the smallfolk claim they sense a terrible hunger emanating from the unliving when their hollow eyesockets pass over the living, there have thus far been no incidents of any Plergothians being consumed, or even slightly masticated.

Not so the fate of the Heen/Vlaanderen/Monster Swarm expeditionary force in Naraka, which was gruesomely slaughtered by a four-Dreadlord coalition at dawn. In just the space of a week, the Necromancer's Servants have caused more damage to the Vlaanderen rebels than Plergoth did in the first three months of the civil war. For that reason alone, the Dreadlord Sally deserves our respect and hospitality.

A Dissenting Opinion

July 2, 1007 | By: Fiorello

My thanks to cousin Mendrugo for granting me this forum in which to air my feelings on the matter of the recent declaration of peace with the Necromancer's Servants.

This peace declaration is an unholy travesty! It flies in the face of all that is right and decent and good in the world. As an avid follower of Daishi, I believe in the Great Death that Comes for Us All. I also believe that that Great Death should be the final one, not merely Koshi - the minor death from which there can be a return. Koshi is a vile corruption of the natural order, and an affront to all adherents of the true faith.

Life is only truly valued when it is known to be finite. Life should be lived to the fullest, with the utmost amount of love, hate, pleasure, pain, joy and sorrow wrung from every second. When the end comes and the blackness envelops your soul, all followers of Daishi should be able to surrender to it with the knowledge of a life well lived and a noble and glorious demise. The abberant apostasy of Koshi renders meaningless the life lived and the death earned.

The undead and their Dreadlord masters are an affront to the true faith and an abomination in the natural order. They should be confonted by force of arms whenever and wherever they appear, and hewn by living muscle, sweat, and steel until their corrupted forms are returned to the final embrace of Daishi - the Great Death from which there is no return. The Daimons have also shown that they have ties to Koshi, and they too should be exterminated. If magickal weapons are required to permanently end their existence, we should seek to acquire these for ourselves, rather than selling our souls for an "enemy of my enemy is my friend" treaty.

We must march forth with fire and sword to burn out the apostasy of Koshi and bring an end to unholy resurrections and corrupted life after death. Death to the Pitlords! Death to the Dreadlords! Death to Undeath!!

-Count Fiorello di Succio of Zuhle

The preceding statement is solely the opinion of Count Fiorello of Zuhle, and is not necessarily that of this newspaper or the realm of Plergoth. Vengeful hordes of undead and daimons can find Lord Fiorello at his Zuhlean estate, and there is no need to trouble the rest of the realm. - Mendrugo

Pitlord Invisible Returns to Cwellndell

July 2, 1007 | By: Mendrugo

Following his rampage through Plergothian territory, the Pitlord Invisible marched eastward and was promptly crushed by a large Enweilish force, suffering the termination of his earthly form for a second time. As before, he appears to have only suffered Koshi - the Lesser Death - and has now returned to the mortal plane. He announced his return today by sending the following message to everyone in the vicinity of Cwellndell.

Te eing abest Sage dercessions, clum hompecric cominhourgen, utedo le re the mor ces whost unda propetwesee!

Invisible

Daimons Ravage Cwellndell

July 2, 1007 | By: Mendrugo

Respawning in Cwellndell at the head of an estimated 180 daimons, the Pitlord Invisible led his hellspawned minions against the small force of Plergothian infantry behind the pallisaded fortifications, killing most and leaving a small remnant for dead. It is fervently hoped that Invisible has a direction other than east on his mind this go-around.

Update - Our sources in Cwellndell have provided reliable reports that the Pitlord is taking his horde westward towards the Meshian city of Ofengail. All of Plergoth breathes a sigh of relief and send prayers that the armsmen of Mesh can finally deliver Invisible to Daishi, granting the Pitlord a death from which there is no return.

Interview with a Necromancer's Servant

July 3, 1007 | By: Mendrugo

While the Necromancer's Servant named 'Sally' was encamped in the city of Creasur, she graciously acceded to Count Fiorello's request for an interview. The following transcript offers unique and fascinating insights into the ongoing Daimon/Monster/Undead conflict that is raging across Beluterra:

Fiorello: Do you retain memories of your life before you entered the afterlife, and do you recall anything of your experiences in the afterlife before your resurrection by the Necromancer? Of what realm were you a citizen?

Sally: Yes, I do. However, I do not have a perfect memory of my death. I do not remember dying, but it was as if, going on a long swim, and going underwater...you know that feeling you get when you resurface? That is how I felt, and just like that, I was given a 2nd life of service. I was a Heroine among the ranks of my former human realm, but as such, we are not allowed to disclose exactly from what time period, nor the name of the realm--it is better that way.

F: We of Plergoth aspire to Daishi - the Great and Final Death Which Comes For Us All. You appear to have undergone Koshi - the lesser death from which there can be a return. I would be very interesting in hearing your perspective on this belief, having personally undergone the lesser death.

S: I can tell you personally that only .01% of all human beings are fit to assume a role of an undead commander. So in a sense, you are right in that all humans are inevitably heading to what you refer to as: Daishi. We liberate the souls from their prisons, the dead bodies...for the most part. I do not know the process for undead leaders, however, because those special bodies are immediately ressurected by the Great One himself. We never see that.

F: We have heard from Hannibal that humans killed by monsters cannot be resurrected. Do they attain Daishi, placing them beyond the reach of the Necromancer, or are those dead merely tainted in some way?

S: They are tainted for our purposes, but we know not where they go. We assume that their souls become corrupted the second they are infected, and thus can only guess as to what happens with them. However the monsters traditionally are useful. They tend to feed on the weak, and thus, help us out indirectly if you get my drift...powerful warriors, are powerful undead. Weak and corrupt humans, tend to be fairly useless undead.

F: Also, what can you tell us of the Daimons of the Netherworld, and their relation to the concepts of Daishi and Koshi.

S: They are offspring of the Great Dragon that mankind slayed so long ago with our help. Since that day we swore to become masters of our own domains...well...those fire breathing beasts appear to have been reproducing all this time. Do not worry, though, they are dumb beasts, chickens running without a head. They are ferocious, but simple of mind, much like the monsters---just ten times deadlier.

F: We have seen that the Daimon leaders, such as our foe Invisible, can be resurrected after death, placing them firmly in the grasp of Koshi. We would be grateful for any information you could provide about them.

S: Their commanders are much like our summoner...the moment our summoner dies, one of the undead leaders immediately "absorbs" in some unknown way or form, all that the summoner was, and is thus, referred to from that moment on as: The Summoner. The same thing works with these Daemons. You will kill all of them many times before they all perish. We simply must wipe out every last one of them, till there are no more to assume the names...in their isolation they have learned an entirely new language, but we understand it. Their desire is to retake the land of their "forefather" and feed/breed/nest here. We replied--as kindly as possible--that we'd eat their eggs for breakfast if they started laying them here, and that we'd send them into the Abyss "well done" if they kept up with this nonsense.

S: We'll see how long they last here.

Rebels Besieged in Reeds

July 5, 1007 | By: Mendrugo

A coalition of forces sent by the Monster Swarm and Heen to aid their Vlaanderen allies were utterly destroyed by the Necromancer's Servants in Naraka. According to field reports, the Beastlords of the Monster Swarm appear to be poorly coordinated and fail to cooperate in offensives, leaving themselves and their allies to be overwhelmed by the lockstep ranks of the undead.

Following the scattering of the Vlaanderen field army in Naraka, the rebels have retreated to Reeds while the surviving Heenite knights are retreating to their desert redoubt, where they hope to hold out against the pursuing forces of Dreadlord Hannibal.

If Vlaanderen's fortunes continue in this vein for the duration of the continent-wide Inhuman Wars, Plergoth should only need to walk into the depopulated ruins and reclaim our secessionist territories once the crisis has abated.

Monsters in Ypsilanti

July 6, 1007 | By: Mendrugo

As the troops in and around Plergoth continue to work to rebuild and refit after the destructive passage of Invisible and his daimonic hellhorde, word comes from the southwestern reaches of Plergoth - Monsters! Fortunately, these fell beasts appear to be without even semi-intelligent beastlord leadership (perhaps they're deserters from the Monster Swarm).

A host of freshly re-equipped warbands are en-route to flay the hides from these renegade beastmen and make them into throw-rugs for the Chancellor's personal suite in Creasur. Tomorrow, look for our special feature: Ten Easy Ways to Serve Monsters.

Victory in Ypsilanti!

July 6, 1007 | By: Mendrugo

A mighty host of Plergothian armsmen swept down into Ypsilanti and fell upon the small family group of beastmen that had been raiding the smallfolk and mutilating cattle in the region. The beastmen, their fur matted and unkempt, their horns chipped and dull, snarled toothlessly as they turned to face the gleaming armored forms of the Defenders of Plergoth.

The beasts were swiftly put out of their misery, and mere hours later the smallfolk were able to creep from their rude hovels begin a joyous celebration that their lands were once again monster-free.

As previously promised, ten ways to serve monsters:
10) Ogre tenderloin with truffle sauce
9) Wyvern rondelles with cranberries and pickled figs
8) Beastman blood-sausage - a somewhat gamey but durable snack for the road
7) Serpent-eye soup - boil the eyes in eel-broth until the mixture becomes gelatinous, then lightly dust with paprika and serve cold.
6) Dragon steak tartar (note: to be properly tenderized, keep your dragon-meat under your saddle as you ride - three days ought to do it)
5) Chilled troll-brains (if you get it fresh, the regenerative abilities of trolls allow just one troll to serve a whole banquet)
4) Pixie-sticks - Catch some pixies and impale them on sharp skewers, then roast them over an open fire while you sing songs. The kids will love it!
3) Creamed chipped cockatrice on toast (tastes great - just don't look at it while the cockatrice is alive...or while you're eating it)
2) Cyclops jerky - smoking the meat over young pine will bring out the hidden flavor.

And the number #1 method of serving monsters is...

1) Join the realm of Vlaanderen. They serve the Monster Swarm body and soul!

Plergoth Allies with the Necromancer's Servants!

July 7, 1007 | By: Mendrugo

Following exhaustive diplomatic negotiations, Plergoth and the Necromancer's Servants have officially formed an alliance against the forces of the Monster Swarm and the Netherworld for the duration of the ongoing three-sided inhuman war. As a show of good faith, the Dreadlord Sally presented Plergoth with a mystical weapon of great power that will even the odds when the soldiers of Plergoth next face the vile daimon hordes of the Netherworld. The Necromancer's Servants also pledge the aid of their undead legions should our lands be threatened by our inhuman foes.

Plergoth, in turn, pledges to assist the Necromancer's Servants in eradicating both the Monster Swarm and the agents of the Netherworld, but the alliance treaty contains a clause stating that Plergoth will not attack a human realm on behalf of the Necromancer's Servants, even if that realm is allied with the Swarm or the hellbeasts.

To victory!

Khthon Accuses Plergoth of Treason Against Humanity

July 8, 1007 | By: Mendrugo

In a recent editorial in the Khthon Chronicle, editor Henning Mandul accused Plergoth of "siding against mankind" by allying with the Necromancer's Servants. Mandul further accused the Plergothian followers of Daishi of being hypocritical for allying themselves with beings who have undergone Koshi - the Lesser Death.

These accusations only show how little outsiders understand of Daishi. It appears that the only guaranteed method of attaining Daishi - a state in which no resurrection is possible - is to die in battle against monsters. Conversely, if we were to battle the Necromancer's Servants, there is an excellent chance that any who fell in battle against them would be raised to join their ranks, undergoing Koshi. It is not known whether death at the hands of a daimon would result in Daishi, Koshi, or having one's soul cast down into the pits of the Netherworld, there to suffer eternal torment (which is not Daishi - as Daishi leads to eternal peace in the afterlife), but we have a personal grudge against the Pitlord Invisible, and wish to eradicate him and his entire species from the face of Beluaterra.

We hold no grudge (Lord Fiorello's opinions not withstanding) against those who have undergone Koshi themselves. We hope that, some day, they too may know the final embrace of Daishi. We feel that the Apostates of Koshi, who actively seek a means of resurrection after death, are misguided, as they cheapen their current existence and will deny themselves the glory and beauty of The Great Death. Thus, by allying with the Necromancer's Servants, we protect the Daishi followers in Plergoth from being subjected to Koshi against their will, and we increase the chances of attaining Daishi ourselves in battle against the Monster Swarm. There is no hypocrisy here.

As for the charge that Plergoth has "sided against mankind", the Khthonians appear to have either overlooked or willfully ignored the clause in our alliance treaty which states that Plergoth will not battle any human realm on behalf of the Necromancer's Servants, but will only coordinate to battle the Monster Swarm and the daimons of the Netherworld.

More Realms Join the Necromantic Coalition

July 9, 1007 | By: Mendrugo

With the addition of Mesh, fourteen of Beluaterra's twenty-two human realms have become full allies of the Necromancer's Servants. Ashborn, Avalon, Caras Galadhon, Enweil, Fronen, Irombrozia, the Kingdom of Alluran, Luz de Bia, Melhed, Mesh, Plergoth, Republic of Fwuvoghor, Riombara, and Thalmarkin are all allied with the undead, while Old Grehk remains merely at peace.

By contrast, only Sint and Vlaanderen have allied themselves with the Monster Swarm, with Heen maintaining peaceful diplomatic relations with the beastlords. Valentia, Lemundia and Khthon continue to favor neither side, and nobody has, as yet, made any overtures towards the Netherworld.

Netherworld Attempts to Gain Foothold in Beluaterra

July 11, 1007 | By: Mendrugo

In the first of what may prove to be many attempts to carve out a literal "Hell on Earth", the forces of the Netherworld have begun an attempt to take over the northwestern badlands region of Beluaterra. Two sorties by Sint and the Monster Swarm, attempting to break the take-over attempt, were thrown back in total disarray. Despite having greater numbers and apparently superior strength, the Monster/human battlegroup was trounced by the daimons.

All Quiet in Plergoth

July 12, 1007 | By: Mendrugo

While great armies clash and the fates of worlds are decided elsewhere in Beluaterra, all is quiet in Plergoth. Aside from a brief sighting of a Khthonian warband passing through Weghie on their way to Haffemet, the Army of Plergoth and Defenders of Plergoth are busily sitting and watching and waiting.

And waiting.

And waiting.

In other fast breaking news, puppies are nice.

Necromancer's Servants Triumph Over Heen

July 12, 1007 | By: Mendrugo

Heen, one of the few realms aligned with the Monster Swarm and the Vlaanderen rebels, has just suffered a massive defeat at the hands of the Necromancer's Servants, who attacked Heen itself with overwhelming force and captured both Beatrice, Countess of Kif, Marshal of the Scarlet Mamluks and Lucilla, a Heenite noble.

Our readers will recall that, despite a deal brokered between Plergoth and Heen to stay out of the Reeds-Creasur battle in exchange for shipments of food to their starving realm, Heen joined the rebels in battle against Plergoth, several times assisting in the defense of Reeds and once even marching forth to invade Plergothian territory as the rebels prepared to besiege Creasur. Thwarted only by the timely arrival of our Meshian comrades, they earned the deep enmity of the Plergothian people.

Thus, we welcome the transition of the Heenish mercenaries from the ranks of the treacherous living to loyal thralls of our ally, the Necromancer, in a state of Koshi (for Daishi is too good for them).

Tide Schedules and Retractions

July 12, 1007 | By: Fiorello

Tide Schedule for Beluaterra - July 12
As the moon goes into perihelion, high tide will be reached tomorrow, at approximately sunrise. Swimmers are advised to beware of riptides and undercurrents, as well as sea serpents and sharks.

Retractions: This newspaper was found to be in error in the article Necromancer's Servants Triumph Over Heen when it claimed that the Heen army violated the terms of its deal. Rather than pledging not to get involved in the Plergothian Civil War, the Heen leaders only agreed not to attack Plergoth alongside Vlaanderen forces. While they did march alongside Vlaanderen forces in March/April as the rebels made an abortive attempt to besiege Creasur, they did not technically fight Plergothian armsmen at that time. The first clash between Heen and Plergothian forces was during a Plergothian attack on Reeds.

Criminy, Mendrugo... I knew this alliance with the undead was a bad idea. First you're asking me to interview undead commanders for you (man, that was creepy), then you're cheering when they eat a lot of humans, even if they are Heenies... What's that? Brains? Yes, that's right. I'm the brains of this family. Yeah, right - brains. You already said that. Hey, why are you looking at me that way? Aieeeeee! - Fiorello

Inhuman War Heats Up

July 13, 1007 | By: Mendrugo

Two major battles were fought today as the three inhuman factions continue to wage war across Beluaterra. In the far northwest, the Monster Swarm and their Sint allies struck a powerful blow against the Netherworld occupation force in Jolo's Mouth, capturing the Pitlord Ethereal and hopefully preventing the daimons from establishing a foothold on the surface. Cheers for Sint!

Further south, a coalition of Heen, Vlaanderen and Monster Swarm forces again clashed with agents of the Necromancer, who are reportedly arresting adventurers by the dozen and tearing Heen City apart. The battle did a great deal of damage to all involved, but the coalition was not able to dislodge the undead from Heen, where they continue to make a stand over the unmoving form of the Dreadlord Hannibal, who apparently has moved beyond Koshi and entered Daishi's final embrace.