Muninn Newsrag/Adventures of one Drunk and her Rabbit/RP8Ch3

Roleplay from Smeagenwulf

"Oh for fu... What the crap is all this!? what happened to my tent?" yelled Grum, standing at the doorway of his once familiar lodgings, now packed to capacity with barrels, bowls, crates and all other forms of containers, all containing, apparently, large amounts of mustard. Smeagenwulf Brickwielder was submerged up to his shoulders in a large tub filled with mustard in the middle of the room. "Oi, keep down, will ya? I'm trying to relax here!" he shouted back. "Rela...WHAT IS THIS!" screamed Grum, waving his arms at the plethora of mustard that filled the tent. "It's mustard." said Smeagenwulf, "Duh." "I figured!" yelled Grum, "But what is it doing in my tent?" "This isn't your tent anymore," said Smea, slightly irritated at having to explain the situation, "it has been repurposed as my mustard repository. You weren't using it, so..." "I WAS using it! who told you I wasn't using it?" asked Grum angrily. "Well you were away for a long time! I thought you'd left or you were dead or somethin' I don't know, man." explained Smea, playing with something in the tub that Grum couldn't quite see. "I was in the outhouse for twenty five minutes!" Complained the scribe. "Yeah, well, it seemed longer! and, man, twenty five minutes? what are you eating, rocks?" "Well I like to read in there and sometimes I lose track of- NO WAIT, this isn't about that! where's all my stuff!?" Demanded Grum, taking a step closer to his employer, who was noticeably handling something (other than himself) in the tub. "I didn't think you were coming back, so I gave them away..." said Smea with a shrug. "Gave th... I've had it! I'm going to give YOU away!" Grum started rushing towards the tub, while Smea just raised his brow, asking: "What does that even mean?" But three steps before he was close enough to close his hands on Smea's throat, Grum stopped dead in his tracks and stared at the mustard in the tub. Besides a skinny, very naked viking, he could see other forms wiggling around in there.... "N...no... it can't be... those can't be s..." he leaned in closer, and then suddenly recoiled- "THEY ARE! THERE ARE SLUGS IN THE TUB!" screamed Grum with sudden, surprising hysteria. "Uh... Naturally." said Smea, as if the matter was obvious. Grum covered his eyes with one hand, the other went for his stomach. "Oh gods, it's beginning to dawn on me how sick this is... you're sitting naked in a tub full of mustard with slugs floating around in it... oh gods..." he started staggering backwards toward the exit.. "They're not floating around, okay, guy?" corrected Smea, pulling out a slug and presenting it to Grum "They're doing laps!" he explained with a large smile on his face. "I.. I think I'm going to be sick..." said Grum, covering his mouth and backtracking from the tent at full haste "There will be no vomiting in the mustard repository!" called Smea after him, "Take it to the new vomit repository, formally known as Hagar the Boneless' tent."

Roleplay from Davendrall

Davendrall walked up and down the camp of her troops, trying to think. How on earth do I get rid of that mass amount of porn they have of me without getting the pictures published in Xaphan's peculiar newspaper Usually she would speak with Anneliese, and they would plot together. But she seems intent on buying some herself. How irritating. Davendralls face was screwed up with the difficulty of thinking. Why would anyone do such a stupid thing like think? She felt dirty. As steam began to come from her ears Davendrall noticed something out of the corner of her eye. She ran over to a group of her troops. "Hey hey hey! Now. Which one of you got this Eston Banner?" "It was orders from the general ma'am, so I took the liberty of getting one sorted for you. You seemed very busy" "What the hell we're you thinking! This banner is insufficient! I mean yellow on a banner? Seriously? Yellow only has one place. On underwear. Now get me some ink." Half an hour later Davendrall lead her troops out. A banner of Eston was held high, with "Norland Rulz" prominently graffitied on it.

Letter from Amcastra Gustav

Lady Davendrall, After seeing your unit march past my camp, I would recommend you to get a new Estonian banner.

Letter from Davendrall

What Eston banner? I see no Eston banner around here! I have no idea what your talking about -innocent look-

Letter from Amcastra Gustav

Well, if you do not have an Estonian banner, I suggest you purchese one.

Letter from Davendrall

Erm...yes...of course. I'll get round to the at some point....

Letter from Xaphan the Squirrel

It's a trick, they just want you to buy that poor quality... blue thing with the spear emblems on it so they can prop up an otherwise unsustainable industry of its own worth. Buy a Screaming Chicken Banner.

Roleplay from Anneliese

"-AHAHHAAHAHA!" Catharina was distracted from her book by the sudden of arrival of Anneliese, who was laughing very loudly in a manner that suggested that she had drunk far too much wine and was about to make another attempt at murdering Davendrall by feeding her a large amount of cookies. "CATHY!" The noble woman grinned. Despite trying to look as inconspicuous as possible, she had been spotted. As Anneliese walked over to her, she could smell the stench of some kind of berry - which one it was exactly, she never knew, but it wasn't one that she'd ever eaten. As far as she knew, it was only found in that hallucinogenic wine. "You'll never guess what I did!" Catharina sighed, immediately know that she wouldn't get any reading done as long as Anne was around. "What? Did you build a pit of snakes again?" "No! I don't try to kill Davendrall now. I just want to irritate her. Like she irritates me. So..." She paused dramatically, "...you should look at the newsrag today!" She grinned once more, then pranced off. Though she was thankful that her employer had left so quickly, a sudden thought hit her: Anneliese can't write very well, and the only reason she would suggest looking at the newsrag is if she had written something. She hasn't had me write any of her articles lately, so how did she add something to the newsrag? After discounting that last theory - she was very sure that Anne was hallucinating when she had mentioned that - she decided it wasn't worth thinking about and returned to her book.

Roleplay from Davendrall

Davendrall sat happily humming to herself, drinking quietly a Tavern in Barad Riel, when a group of men nearby were giving her a look that made her feel very uncomfortable. The looked down at something on the table then looked back up and all grinned at her. She watched one of them same something to another. Which was followed by an annoyed shrug and laughter from the others. Davendrall glared evilly at them. Then the man awkwardly got up and came over to her. Davendrall continued to glare evilly "Excuse me ma'am" "...Yeeess.... "...Are you Davendrall Felhand?" "...Who wants to know and why?" "Well....its just..." The man handed her something. Davendrall looked down to see the latest print of the Muninn Newsrag. As she read the front page he face turned red and her eyes burned with fury. "She hasn't...oh no. She has. Oh...no no no..." She became oblivious to the laughter and cheeky comments and the scrunched the newspaper in her hands "AN ADVERTISEMENT! ABOUT A 'NEW MUSEUM?' IN SMEGANWULFS TENT? ITS A DAMNED PORN CONVENTION THATS WHAT IT IS! I WILL NOT HAVE SUCH PICTURES OF ME AVAILABLE TO THE PUBLIC!" By now she had caught the attention of the rest of the bar. But she didn't care. She stormed out to find Anneliese.

Roleplay from Smeagenwulf

"Look at this," said Smeagenwulf, gesturing at the people coming in and out of his tent, "We've quadrupled foot traffic since that piece came out at that paper. At this rate I'll surely have enough cash to acquire all the mustard! ALL OF IT! Godhood awaits!" "That's great, sir!" said Hagar, smiling. "Hmmm..." Smea stroked his beard and examined Hagar. "Something wrong, sir?" asked the latter. "Not really... I'm just not used to folks actually agreeing with my jubilation unironically. I should hang out with you more." "That would be swell, sir!" exclaimed Hagar joyously. "Anyway," continued the Brickweiler, smiling at the people passing him, "Anneliese publishing that piece also helped insure Davendrall's rage is at least temporarily diverted on her and not us." he stopped one of the people coming out and asked: "Enjoyed the display, sir?" "I am... unnerved..." mumbled the man, shuffling on. "He didn't seem to like it," commented Hagar the Boneless. "Oh hogwash, it's just the effect of good art, you know? they're all like that when they come out. Here, Oi! you there," Smea flagged another visitor exiting the tent. "Enjoy the art there, guy?" "I don't... I don't know who I am anymore..." said the man with a blank expression, "Everything I know is temporary, and so everything I am is a lie, for only truth holds eternal." the man then stared into space for a few minutes before walking away. "Well at least he's not one of the the guys that just come out screaming until they faint" said Smea, shrugging.

For the next part to the thrilling Adventures of One Drunk and her Rabbit read Chapter 4