McDowell Family/Sorsha McDowell/dress
Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell
Sorsha lay in her cabin, lying on the small hard bed. She was traveling again, it seemed every little bit of traveling brought her near to her home but never there. She felt as if she would never actually see it again. She couldn’t even remember the last time she had been there.
She was so tired and the lulling motion of the ship was not helping. Her eyes slowly began to close but she stiffened forcing them open. She tried to keep her mind busy. Thinking back to the children she had seen that day. To the new nobles who had arrived to join them. To her new responsibilities and the King’s expectations. Mathias and the banquet that was to take place in a couple of days.
She wondered what was waiting for her in Port Nebel this time. Her eyes were now slits. It was undeniable, every time she was there something of consequence took place and it was usually days before she recovered, sometimes months. Mathias wanted her there…she had to wonder why. She would see many other nobles as well… The Royals, Rathan, Hexic, and Lycan were the ones she was sure of but who else?
It had been a long time since she had been in a room with so many people, was she prepared? Her eyes closed completely and she fell asleep.
“Children now?” the voice startled her and she opened them quickly. Kaylan’s face was directly above hers, her expression dark. “And him…” she hissed, displeased. “Why are you always thinking about HIM!?” Kaylan yelled and this time Sorsha shrunk back. “Don’t you know any better?” The other woman backhanded her. “Don’t you even dare give in this time,” she warned. “How many times am I going to have to beat that disgusting feeling out of you? How many times am I going to have to beat him out of you?!” she yelled shrilly and hit her again. She had fallen asleep, welcomed by the nightmares she had tried so hard to fight now.
Sorsha knew no matter how much she fought, or defended herself it was useless. She let Kaylan rage on, as if she was the one losing her mind. She searched for the void as she had done countless times but no matter how hard she tried, it kept slipping away. Had any of it been real, Sorsha knew she would have not survived this time.
When Sorsha woke it was to violent convulsing and she fell to her knees and hands on the floor and vomited. She trembled and her body was covered with cold sweat. And in her mind all she could hear was Kaylan’s echoing voice. “You’ll never get any of it you know. Haven’t I taught you anything? It’s a dream you’re not worthy of. You’re nothing, accept it.”
It was a long time before she could compose herself. She managed to clean herself up with what she had, she rinsed her mouth out and redid her braid. When the ship arrived in Port Nebel she stepped off. In this distance directly ahead of her sitting atop the city lay the Ducal Palace and she paused before beginning to walk there.
Roleplay from Mathias Ridder
Straightening out his new clothes he had acquired in Askileon, Mathias began to admire the armor his aunt had just given him. She said it was at the age of 31 that his father disappeared and all that he had left for them was this suit of armor. The suit of armor stood a little taller than him and looked far superior to any other he had previously worn. The graves having a slightly widened brim around the ankle offering better protection to his calf yet not impeding his movement at all. Then there was the breastplate which though looking small in size was well complemented by the strong chain mail that guarded his stomach. His pauldron giving an upward swing on the edges along with his bracers made of hardened steel gave great protection to the wearer’s arms. To top it all of the helmet was as well quite magnificent. With the thinnest of slits across his eye line almost nothing could fire into that hole yet right where the eyes would be located on the helmet a vertical slit was made to complement the horizontal one giving the wearer increased vision. The suit then given a red coloring was perfect.
However amidst his admiration of his new suit of armor one of his servants came running to the duke. My lord. Lady Sorsha has arrived and is requesting an audience. What should I do?" he said. To which Mathias replied, "Let her into my office I shall join her there shortly." After the servant had run off Mathias called for Duad to come to his side. "Duad, could you go to my chamber and retrieve the white box that sits on my bed?" Duad then bowed and ran off to retrieve the parcel. Mathias then gave his suit another look over and ordered for his guards to begin moving it to his office.
It would take Duad about 5 minutes to return with his parcel, and afterward Mathias began to walk towards the office. Arriving just before his servant entered the office with hi suit of armor Mathias waited outside while his armor was drug into his office. Then entering after the servant left Mathias bowed to Lady Sorsha who must have been waiting there for the past ten minutes. “I am so sorry to keep you waiting however I must inform you it was for a good cause." Up to this point Mathias has been hiding his hands behind his back while holding the small rectangular box. Then pulling one hand in front he revealed it to her. My love, a gift for you. I got it at the same place I found this fine wear I have on me right now. Then holding the box out he offered it to Sorsha.
Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell
Sorsha had been led to Mathias’ office and waited patiently for him to appear. While she waited, she examined the room and finally took a seat. When she sat, guards then entered bringing in a magnificent suit of armor. She was impressed, upon seeing it and watched as it was brought in.
Soon after Mathias entered and Sorsha blinked. She was actually surprised and rather pleased by his appearance but she did not voice it out loud she just continued to admire him and a slight grin reached her lips. Had it been so long since she last saw him that she was like a young girl seeing a gorgeous man for the first time?
He looked different, he had always been handsome to her but something was off. He had a carefree air about him and a part of her drawn in unlike before.
At his words she stood and took the box in her hands. She did not know what to make of this and opened it slowly, carefully as if afraid to find out what was in the box. Opening it, she set the lid aside, looked down and froze.
It was a rich and exquisite fabric. One she had seen but never dared get for herself. She pulled the material out slowly and realized it was a beautiful gown, a gown fit for a Queen. “Mathias…” she whispered his name and looked back up to his blue eyes. “This is… beautiful,” she breathed but then quickly added, “I am not worthy of such gifts.”
Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell
She answered his last question first. “Our expedition to Ordenstaat came off to a bad start I have to say. Most of our units were decimated upon our arrival and all of us were wounded in the first battle.” Her hand drifted to her abdomen where the wound had yet to heal. “From there we fell back to Rettleville, I was one of the last to remain until everyone returned home but I and then I was alone. I began to exchange letters with Marshal Zeromus. We spoke of many things, in the end he decided to join us here in D’Hara as did some of his family and friends, as you already know. I guess in a roundabout way I accomplished what I set out to do,” she said the last absently her hand touching the soft iridescent silk of her gown and then she looked up at him.
“Why have you gotten me this?” she asked him pointedly. It wasn’t the fact she didn’t like it, she thought it was beautiful, she just didn’t know what to make of it. It was obvious to anyone who looked she no longer carried on with gowns. Is this what he wished? As she had wished him to change? The thought made her look to his clothes again. And change he had.
Roleplay from Mathias Ridder
Mathias was slightly taken back by her words, "My Lady, you see I was in Askelion buying this silk shirt," he said as he pointed to the blue silken shirt embroidered with gold linings. "Along with these brown linen pants when I saw that dress. You see I could only imagine one person in that dress, and I decided that I could only allow that one person to wear the dress. My Lady that is you. You are in all ways perfect, and you deserve only the best." Mathis then faced away and walked to a corner of the room. Approaching a large armoire he opened it up and grabbed a black cloak, putting it on he continued, "Why do you ask Sorsha...do you not like it?"
Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell
“Like it?” She looked back from his eyes to the gown in her hands and back up. “It is the most beautiful gown I have ever seen,” she had noticed him withdraw and walked up to him. “Mathias I wasn’t implying I did no like it. I just… I can’t remember the last time I have worn something delicate and soft, let alone such an exquisite piece of work. I simply meant…” she did not know what she meant and let it trail off. Truth of it, she couldn’t see herself in something like this anymore, where would she wear it? He thought she was perfect, yet she was far from it. And this moment only proved her shortcoming.
Roleplay from Mathias Ridder
"My lady, don't worry yourself over it, just the knowledge that you approve brings a smile to my face." Walking over to Sorsha, Mathias grabbed her hand and said, "Sorsha, I was just about to go out survey the city. What do you say, will you join me?"
Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell
Setting the gown back in the box, she held his hand in turn and followed him out of his office. She was wary of this whole change, but she was too curious to pass up the chance to see how it would turn out.
“Speaking of approval,” she said softly with a look of appreciation in her eyes. “I like this new wardrobe.”
They walked through the Ducal Palace until they reached the main entrance, “how was the tournament?”
Roleplay from Mathias Ridder
"My Lady, the tournament went fine, though I was unfortunately eliminated in the first round. Though it was by a noble who would make it to the last stages of the tourney." Mathias said scratching his head in shame at his loss. "My Lady, I hope that does not shame you...my loss that is."
The two having been walking the entire time had now reached the courtyard where the Palace guards had been drilling. Then turning to his pride and joy, Mathias turned to face his Ducal Guard, "My Lady, how do you like my guard. A small elite unit of Pikemen who would die for me...and you if you would wish it." Now blushing he again scratched the back of his head.
"Sorsha listen." Mathias said grabbing her hand and facing her eye to eye, "The time you were gone had been too long. I hurt me so much being away from you. I don't believe I could be separated from you for so long a time again. Not to mention the pain you must have been in every night. I insist that you stay here tonight so that I might be able to aid you in your rest again. What do you say?"
Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell
At mention of shame Sorsha shook her head at him. “No, shame has not touched me,” she said flatly. “It only matters that you have gone and you gave it your all, to be undefeated and gain the prize is not always the real gift.”
They stopped before his guard and she nodded in their direction. Men who would give their lives for him and her if she wished it? She pondered his words. “I hope when the time comes they prove your words true.”
Then he stopped walking and she was face to face with him again. She would have thought she would be the last thing on his mind while he was away. She could not say she was in pain but, “I did have a hard time of it,” she admitted and looked to their hands, “that morning in battle when I got wounded, I did not think I was going to make it back.”
At his invitation to stay the night, she paused. She then wondered if his words and what she had thought in the first place to be truth. Did he in fact keep her nightmares at bay? Now that she had gotten a taste of the sleep potion from Rathan did she need Mathias? Could she omit one for the other? Did she need both, to make absolutely sure? How would she ever know without testing both individually?
She needed the sleep, she didn’t know if she could wait until she saw Rathan again. Why that very morning what she had been through had taken every bit of energy she had left out of her. She was barely holding on to reality as it was. “…I will stay,” she told him and then added, “but I must warn you they have gotten worse. You may not get much sleep.”
Roleplay from Mathias Ridder
"Sorsha," Mathias said grabbing her hand, "You will never tire me. When I am around you I am all energy." Then turning around Mathias began to walk towards the city, then turning back to face Sorsha he continued,"I know this place near where the wall is being built. In fact today might be the last time we can sit at this spot." He then began to walk to the area assuming Sorsha was following him.
Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell
Sorsha followed behind Mathias. “Are we not to survey the city?” she asked curiously but he seemed to be set on this new path and she watched, intrigued. Again he had that carefree air about him and she didn’t want to stay behind, she wanted to be near him.
Roleplay from Mathias Ridder
"My Lady, forget the city. You see there is this hill near the wall that shall be soon covered soon. It will soon be twilight and the view it amazing there."
The two then continued their way to the hills, and upon their arrival took a seat near a tree and watched the sun go down below the ocean. Then looking to Sorsha who was sitting next to him he said, "My love, what say you is this not the best view ever?"
Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell
As the sun set over the water it added a sparkling sheen of myriad reds and oranges and Sorsha’s chest tightened. Over the horizon the sun lowered to the water, as if sinking below the surface and she smiled. As a child she used to think that if she was absolutely still she would close her eyes and hear the hissing of the sun as it touched the water. She remembered this, the beauty of it, the exotic mystery of it, but more importantly how it used to make her feel. At peace. As if no matter how chaotic her life was some things never changed and it always brought her back.
She faced Mathias, still smiling. “It is amazing…the best view in all of Port Nebel” she said and leaned into him. “Thank you,” she breathed.
Mathias had shown her something she had not paid attention to in a long time and her blue eyes watched the entire sunset, the violet specks in them twinkling. “How could I have forgotten?” she whispered.
Roleplay from Mathias Ridder
Brushing the head of Sorsha as she leaned against him he said, "My Love, I am sure you never truly forgot...you must just figure out a way to help your current situation. Get out of this rut you are in, I am sure anyone would forgot such beautiful things if they could not sleep." Then standing up he grabbed Sorsha's hand and helped her up now that the sun had completely set. "My Lady we should return to the Palace and get some rest, we can continue our conversation tomorrow morning."
After a short walk the two had arrived back at the Palace. Then passing by the stable he saw his horse Dilu move towards him. Stopping to pet its head he looked to Sorsha, "Sorsha your family breeds horses do they not? Would you perchance take a look at mine and tell me what you think?" Waiting as Sorsha walked over and began to look over the horse Mathias continued, "You know I am not the first owner of this horse. You see many say that this horse is cursed, and that all who claim shall have their life end horribly, but a little while after its acquisition. Have you heard of such a thing with a horse before?"
Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell
It wasn’t just the lack of sleep, but she couldn’t tell him, she didn’t want to talk about it right now. She remained silent until he asked her about his horse.
She had seen it before and had examined him with a critical eye. “No I have never heard of such a thing,” she pursed her lip and ran her hand along its neck, down its back and traced its hind leg. “And you’ve had it for some time now, are we to believe you are not to be affected by this curse?” It was a large and muscular warhorse, with a lean but powerful physique. His coat was sleek, healthy. She then raised its leg and examined its hooves and then moved to his nose and gave a small pat and then pulled his lip back. Dilu moved his head back, protesting and she let him move away. “He is magnificent, well cared for, and should he need to he will give you all that he has, he has spirit.”
Roleplay from Mathias Ridder
"Yes my love, I do believe I am unaffected by this curse. You see the four owners before I had met horrible deaths, and so did one of my servants who attempted to run off with it. I must say, it is nice to have a horse with its own anti-theft system." Then letting out a hearty laugh grabbed Sorsha’s hand and lead her to the Palace. Then walking up to his room he awaited out side. "My Lady, I would offer you a place in my bed, but I must look after your honor, and inform you that the room next to mine is still open." Then he opened his door and lied down on his bed. Having left his door opened Sorsha could clearly see into the room and notice the open spot on his bed next to him.
Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell
She watched him go to his bed and stood alone in the hallway. She looked to her left and then her right and then making sure no one was around Sorsha walked in and closed the door behind her. Noticing a large chair not far from the bed, she sat in it and watched him for a few minutes. He did not want to spoil her honor, yet she wondered if he knew to exactly what lengths she had thought of going to feel again. Honor would no longer even be a question.
She had been in his bed before, only to sleep and additionally she had woken next to Rathan as well only recently. Although how she had gotten there was still a mystery, somnambulism?
One question burned in her mind. What was she doing? One desperate attempt after another…both to survive and to feel.
She looked down to her leathers and then back to the bed. Well she couldn’t very well slip into his bed fully clothed and she couldn’t go in naked. She rummaged through some of his clothes while he watched and she found a long sash. He frowned at her when she showed him but then shrugged really not knowing what she was doing. She didn’t think he would deny her anything now anyway. She could have taken his entire wardrobe and still he would have let her without offhand comments.
The sash was just wide enough and she was satisfied. Turning her back to him, she removed the top of her leathers and wrapped the sash across her breasts and tied it to her back. As a result it covered her, but left exposed her tanned shoulders and her taut abdomen. Then she removed her leather pants, she had small black satin undergarment beneath, they too would do. She actually didn’t care how exposed she was, she was so detached from everything it felt like none of this was even real.
She then slipped into the bed and beneath the covers next to him and lay on her back looking up at the canopy of his immense bed. Her hand inattentively trailed the large pink scars that were slowly healing while she thought and silence filled the room. She then turned in his direction. “Mathias,” she said his name softly. “Can you talk to me,” she asked. “Just until I fall asleep.”
Roleplay from Mathias Ridder
"Of course my love." he said then rolling over to face Sorsha. "In fact I have something I have been meaning to ask you. My love, I have been asked to go north by my religion. They apparently have a dukeship waiting for me there....I have considered accepting their offer, but I have decided I shall only go north if you will join me. I don't believe I can separate my self from for extended periods of time again." Then reaching out and softly grabbing her hand he continued, "What do you say? Shall we go north and start our life anew or shall we remain here and continue?"
Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell
When Mathias told her he was leaving Sorsha froze and her face seemed to lose all color and her eyes became empty. He was leaving… For some reason she couldn’t stop to listen to the rest of his words, it was as if his question to have her come with him was lost on her. He was leaving. It was happening all over again.
She couldn’t even speak and swallowed back. This time both her hands reached up over her abdomen. She felt like she was going to be sick but she couldn’t move. She was battling the void as it tried to close in on her. “No…” was all she said and shook her head.
And then suddenly she moaned miserably, “nooo,” the sound seemed to convey months of pent up emotions. “You can’t leave me again,” she said this time as if breaking entirely as if speaking to someone else and her vision blurred.
Roleplay from Mathias Ridder
Hearing Sorsha begin to break up and mumble, "nooo." Mathias grabbed her and drug her close to him, cradling her head in his arms he began to stroke her hair. "My Love I will never leave you. If I was I believe I myself might die. No I asked if you wished to go north. If we did we would have a home waiting for us. But seems to me you don't wish to go..." Then bringing his face to her ear he whispered, "That is good because I don't believe I would have wished to go either."
Then laying his head against one of his pillows he continued to stroke her hair. It would be but a few moments before he noticed that Sorsha was rubbing something on her belly. "My Love, what is wrong with your stomach." Mathias said reaching out and removing her hand from her stomach. "My God. What happened?"
Roleplay from Sorsha Mcdowell
She had been so dangerously close to feeling it all again, but he calmed her and brought her back before she did. He then whispered to her that he would stay and her body relaxed into his arms and she closed her eyes. Then she understood his words. He wished to take her with him somewhere new and here she had thought the cruelty was to befall her again. But why would it all cause such a reaction when she was all but empty?
He then noticed her stomach and he gently pushed her on her back and removed her hands. She opened her eyes again and looked down, “it happened in Ordenstaat. My men and I arrived ahead of the rest of the armies and we were gravely outnumbered, I danced with death that day,” she admitted, “that’s when I thought I would never return.” She reached up to her cheek and inattentively rubbed away at the dampness. “It is taking a long time to heal; I have not stopped since that day.”
Roleplay from Mathias Ridder
Grabbing a corner of the sheet they where lying on, he brought it to her face and wiped away the tears. "My Love had I known that expedition would have been so dangerous to you I would have left in your place. From this day forth if you leave on expedition I shall join you. I cannot dream of possibly losing you to war. Let alone those monstrosities out in the wilderness."
Then scooting over to Sorsha he laid his head next to hers and closed his eyes, "My Love let us get some rest. We have some big days ahead of us." Then laying his arm across her he pulled her tight and fell asleep.
Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell
When he wiped her tears with the sheet she blinked but didn’t say anything. Tears? He continued to talk yet she wasn’t fully listening. She actually became mute from then on, was this the answer to her problem? Did she need to fully break so that she could pick herself up again? But... hadn't she already been there?
She thought of what had just taken place for a long time after he had rested his head next to hers and pulled her to him. He quickly fell asleep and the silence was filled with his even breath. She was very tired herself but she was so used to resisting, she had difficulty letting go to just allow herself some sleep. It wasn’t until a few hours later did she finally fall asleep and when she did, it was a peaceful slumber.
