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| − | '''Roleplay from Mathias Ridder'''
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| − | Mathias watched Rathan leave Sorsha's room, and decided he should check up on her one last time before he headed back to Port Nebel.
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| − | Slowly stepping into the room, "Mo Searc. Are you awake?" he said in a low tone. Then looking around he noticed that she was passed out on the bed. Walking over next to her he then decided to take a seat on the bed next to her. "Hmm, she must still be in quite the bad shape...it has been quite some time since I have seen her sleep so soundly." It was then that he noticed the vial in her hand. Picking it up he took a sniff of the contents within. "Yuk. What the hell was that!?" Then deciding to take the vial with him to see if he could find out anything about he stuffed it into one of his cloaks pockets.
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| − | Mathias then looked over to Sorsha and tried to stir her, "Mo Searc..." then shaking her a little, "Mo Searc..."
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| − | Mathias now a little worried he noticed her shallow breath and slow heart beat. "Please wake if just to prove to me your okay he thought to himself." Mathias then leaned in and held her tight, "It better have been your healer that gave this....stuff to you else wise I....I...I don't know what I will do." he said to himself.
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| − | '''Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell'''
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| − | Sorsha could not fully wake and gave a small moan. She could hear Mathias’ voice, and she tried to open her eyes but her eyelids felt so heavy. There was a small amount of light as she did so, but then she closed her eyes again. Everything was dark, comfortable, and now warm, she wanted to keep her eyes closed and stay there. She heard him again and she tried to answer him, but she felt so weak all she could manage was, “Mmmaath…” and then she let out an exhausted sigh.
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| − | '''Roleplay from Mathias Ridder'''
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| − | Mathias startled by her moan. "Sorsha! You're okay!" he said excitedly as he held her in his arms. "Mo Searc I was so worried...." he said giving her a kiss on her forehead.”...you need not worry I am here now...and I shall stay with you through out the night if you so desire it."
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| − | '''Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell'''
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| − | She was partially awake, but she could barely function. All she could do was nuzzle into his neck and try to lift her arms to hold on to him but she was already falling back into darkness of sleep. Her arms almost made it, but then slid slowly from him to the side. She was fighting so hard but it was a losing battle, and her body yearned for the rest she would never allow it.
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| − | '''Roleplay from Mathias Ridder'''
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| − | "It is alright Mo Searc...rest if you desire it. I shall remain here by you until then." Mathias whispered into her ear. He then lay down next to her and held her close to him. "Sorsha..." he said thinking she was already passed out, "I do so love you and await the day you finally agree to marry me. When it comes we shall both be the happiest people in all the world...but first I must come clean. I know that you have an attraction to Rathan as does he to you, but you must know. That when you do finally choose you will lose the other....It has been decided between us, Rathan and I, that this is how it should be." A single tear then ran down his cheek as he curled up next to Sorsha and waited.
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| − | '''Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell'''
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| − | She could still hear his voice as if in a dream but it was ungraspable. Sorsha then gave a small sighed moan and curled up beside him, into his arms.
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| − | '''Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell'''
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| − | Sorsha was awake, but her eyes remained closed. She felt like she was still in a state of half sleep, half consciousness. Somewhere in that state, she tried to think back to the previous night, she thought she had a dream. Rathan had said she wouldn’t be able to, why else would she be taking the sleep potion, but to avoid it altogether?
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| − | This left her confused and she tried to recall the nature of it. She couldn’t see images rather they were words in her mind. As if someone in pain was asking her to decide their lives. And then she remembered. <i>When you do finally choose you will lose the other…</i> She kept her eyes tightly closed at these words and her brow furrowed. “Lose the other?” she whispered and it was as if saying the words out loud brought her out of her thoughts and her eyes snapped open.
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| − | Someone was there with her, a steady breath filled the silence and it was one other than her own. She stared up at the canopy above her head, and then to the side, the sheer fabric of the material tied to her bed posts seemed almost surreal. Only this time she was somewhat prepared for this, for the grogginess, the absence of mind that followed, the confusion as she woke. Then she turned and saw Mathias there. His handsome face so peaceful in sleep, yet she couldn’t share the emotion of calmness. It came back to her; the voice in her dream was his. Was he asking her to choose? He was asking her to choose… and depending on the decision, either he or Rathan would leave.
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| − | She actually did recall the last time she’d had to choose and she had made the wrong choice… If fact it was what had led her to this, this state of mind, what was left of her, her mind, her life.
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| − | She was suddenly frightened and out of need she turned over to Mathias and put her arms around him with a desperate hold, as if afraid to let go. She didn’t want to make the wrong choice… never again. “Mathias…” she whispered his name and her eyes filled with moisture.
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| − | He stirred in her arms and she buried her face in his neck. “I don’t want to choose,” she mumbled with a soft emotional voice and gripped him tightly. “Please don’t make me choose, I can’t… not again.” as she said the words, immediately she realized just how selfish they sounded.
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| − | '''Roleplay from Mathias Ridder'''
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| − | Mathias was awoken by Sorsha pouting into his ear. <i>“I don’t want to choose,” she mumbled with a soft emotional voice and gripped him tightly. “Please don’t make me choose, I can’t… not again.”</i> Then making a small smile he embraced her tightly. "Mo Searc, If that would make you happy I would see to it you could have both Rathan and I, but this is just not possible....In the end you must choose which of us you wish to be with."
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| − | Mathias himself then began to cry having begun to think about what his life would be without Sorsha, "Sorsha....I don't know what I would do without you by my side. I probably....wouldn't be able to live and just lose the will."
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| − | Mathias then rubbed his eyes trying to stop his tears, "Mo Searc, you know I wish to have you marry me, and the offer stands for when you finally choose your answer. But I wish to be there for you as you grow older. As we have our children...as you grow ill....as you journey through all of life's complicated little mysteries."
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| − | '''Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell'''
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| − | Sorsha pulled away from him to look into his twinkling blue eyes, her favorite color. Then the moistness in her eyes seemed to overflow at the sight. A man’s tears, one of her ultimate weaknesses. His emotions were truly there for her to see and it broke her heart to witness it. That she could hurt him so much by the mere thought of her absence.
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| − | She wiped Mathias’ tears with trembling fingers and sniffed. “I don’t want you out of my life…,” she whispered, “not again.” She kissed him then, softly pressing her lips against his and tears slipped over to her cheeks as she cried with him. She had begun to feel again, and the magnitude of it all was crippling, uncontrollable.
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| − | “Mathias you were there with me from the beginning, I could not imagine my life… D’Hara… without you in it. You promised me you would never leave me, no matter what,” she sobbed, pleading with him. Trying to make him go back on his decision, to tell her it wasn’t true that he wouldn’t make such a decision with Rathan without her. She wanted it all to be different, she didn’t know how she wanted it, but, “Why must I always choose like this…” she then said out loud and wiped her cheek with the back of her hand.
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| − | '''Roleplay from Mathias Ridder'''
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| − | "Mo Searc, I must leave if you choose Rathan. It would not be fair to you two if I remained, because....I would not be able to bring myself to ignore you and seek to be with you. Sorsha...I truly hate having to ask you to choose, but it is something that must be done..."
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| − | '''Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell'''
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| − | She knew he was right. How could she unfairly ask him to watch while she was with another man? If it were her she wouldn’t bare to see him with another woman, if it ever came to that she would want to strike down the other woman who so much as dared touch him. The thought of it alone made jealousy flare in the pit of her stomach. This was awful, how could he live everyday knowing how she felt about Rathan. He knew, he had just admitted it.
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| − | “And what has Rathan said of this?” she asked, her voice was still very emotional. She wondered then exactly what words had been exchanged between them – concerning the fate of not only one, but three people. A lot must have been exchanged or thought about.
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| − | '''Roleplay from Mathias Ridder'''
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| − | Having dried his eyes somewhat Mathias said calmly, "Little has been discussed. All I know is that he has feeling for you, and that whenever you choose one of us the other will back off completely, and this will go until wedding vows are exchanged. Or so that is what we agreed." Mathias then looked straight into her eyes and said, "Mo Searc, I will do whatever you ask of me, and I shall support you in whoever you choose..."
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| − | '''Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell'''
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| − | “So that is it then? I need to end it by marrying one of you?” She moved away out of his arms and sat up in the bed. “You would support whichever decision I made…” she let trail off and her eyes saddened. “Rathan has not even mentioned marriage to me once. He has asked me to be with him, but I can’t recall how serious we have been with one another. To tell the truth there are many gaps… incomplete moments.”
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| − | She reached up again and wiped more tears. Sitting in silence a long moment she then turned to look at him. “And what… if I choose neither. Would you both stay?” She then played with her fingers, and absently turned the incomplete McDowell ring on her finger. “What if I am not prepared for wedding vows? I am not whole… how could I even make a conscience decision on something so important, when half the time I am not sure of who I am…” the last was a statement rather than a question and she pondered this while she waited for his answer.
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| − | '''Roleplay from Mathias Ridder'''
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| − | "Sorsha I really don't know what to say...that was not something we thought about when we made the deal. Though I would probably leave seeing as how I would not be able to go on with the knowledge that I could never be with you. You are the reason I remained for so long, and you are the reason I shall continue to remain."
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| − | Mathias then stood up and straitened out his clothing that he had unfortunately slept in and continued, "If you will not have me...well then I see no reason to continue on." Then let out a sigh and waited.
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| − | '''Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell'''
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| − | No matter her decision, she would lose one, or both, because she had the feeling Rathan would most likely give her the same answer.
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| − | She rose from the bed and walked to stand before him. Her eyes were vividly blue today, from her crying. She then gave a long sigh, and paced the room silently. She could not continue this forever; make them both vie for her attention. In the end she would truly have to choose.
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| − | “I need time to think this over…” she then told him. “One week,” she said softly, a lump catching in her throat. “I will then give you my answer.” She could not bear to look at him. How many times had they done this in the past? He asking her for her hand in marriage while she requested more time. Only this time she would choose. It would either mean the beginning of a wonderful life, or again the road to misery. The same decision as she had done when she chose between him and Conrac.
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| − | “I must be given the opportunity to properly choose…” she stated, her voice breaking. “I want no interruptions while I am with one, or the other. I wish to decide the intent of your hearts on my own. I won’t listen to swaying of any kind, you must let it be fair for both of you… and mostly for me.”
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| − | “Do you accept?” When she turned to look at him, her eyes and cheeks glistened with corpulent tears.
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| − | '''Roleplay from Mathias Ridder'''
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| − | Mathias walked over to Sorsha grabbed her hand and kissed it. "Mo Searc, I accept...for better or worse I accept." Mathias then looked around the room for a second before continuing. "Sorsha, I must return to Port Nebel. I have been gone far too long. If you need me for any reason please seek me out." With that Mathias turned and walked out of her estate and began his journey back to Port Nebel.
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| − | '''Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell'''
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| − | Sorsha watched as Mathias kissed her hand, and then left her room. And then it hit her, like a deluge and she crumbled to the ground in tears, this would be the decision that would mark the rest of her life.
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| − | When she was finally able to pull herself together, she wrote a letter to Rathan.
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