Difference between revisions of "McDowell Family/Sorsha McDowell/apology"

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(New page: '''Roleplay from Asriel Octavius''' Asriel arrived in Port Nebel and took a carriage to the ducal palace. On the way he reflected that life was so much simpler when you didn't have a u...)
 
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'''Roleplay from Asriel Octavius''' 
 
  
Asriel arrived in Port Nebel and took a carriage to the ducal palace. On the way he reflected that life was so much simpler when you didn't have a unit to worry about.
 
 
Arriving at the palace he was recognised by the guards and let into a small, but comfortable, waiting room. Meanwhile, a page was dispatched to inform the Duchess if his arrival.
 
 
While he waited Asriel warmed his hands at the fire. The ferry across had not been too arduous but the sea air was bitterly cold at this time of year and made his war wounds ache.
 
 
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'''Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell'''
 
 
Sorsha was leaving her study when the servant approached to inform her Sir Asriel was waiting for her. She smiled and nodded, heading towards the waiting area to greet him herself.
 
 
Today, she wore a light blue gown, the fabric soft again comfortable allowing freedom of movement. Her hair hung down her back, tied with a small blue ribbon. Looking down, she looked to her abdomen and adjusted the gown as to try and hide the small bump, but it was no use. She hadn’t left the Palace since, and no one had gotten to see her in this state yet.
 
 
When she entered she noticed Asriel and smiled. “Good day Sir Asriel,” she offered her hand and watched him curiously. “I’m glad you’ve taken up my invitation, and as you can see, I am in a much better temperament today. Has your voyage been difficult?”
 
 
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'''Roleplay from Asriel Octavius'''
 
 
Asriel rose as the duchess entered the room and bowed over her hand to kiss it.
 
 
"It is a pleasure to see you. I am most glad to hear you are in good temperament."
 
 
As he straightened his back his sharp eyes noticed the bulge under the dress and his eyes widened slightly at realizing she was pregnant. "May I remark on how lovely you look today." he said.
 
 
"My journey was not unpleasant, though it is wonderful to escape the winter cold. Thank the Allfather that winter is nearing its end and that we will be in spring soon! But please, tell me how you have been. After all, becoming a duchess must be a most complex and busy affair and... I can't help that notice that you're going to be a mother. I offer you my heartiest congratulations."
 
 
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'''Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell'''
 
 
Sorsha smiled as he kissed her hand, and lowered it to her side. “Thank you to both compliments,” she nodded her head and her hand lifted to protectively cover her abdomen.  “Yes, I have been preoccupied with Port Nebel, it seems that no matter how much I wish to be free, work still beckons, and I cannot turn my back on her people. Winter is the hardest season, but hopefully it shall be over soon.”
 
 
She made to turn and he followed beside her, her eyes were now downcast and she swallowed. “You are the first to know of my pregnancy…” she let trail off.
 
 
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'''Roleplay from Asriel Octavius'''
 
 
Asriel contemplated this for a moment.
 
 
"I see." he said. "Do you mind me asking why?"
 
 
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'''Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell'''
 
 
Sorsha grew silent at his question, and took a small breath. “I have not seen anyone since, but you. And my letters to Mathias remain unanswered, I believe…” she paused and looked ahead, her eyes determined, “…Paisly keeps him occupied,” she said, convincing herself that was the reason for his silence.
 
 
“Would you like to eat right away, or would you like to unwind with a bit of tea?” she offered as they continued walking down the hall.
 
 
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'''Roleplay from Asriel Octavius'''
 
 
Asriel nodded in response to Sorsha's explanation as they continued on their way. In response to her question he said "Whichever you prefer to do would be fine by me. I truly do not mind either way."
 
 
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'''Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell'''
 
 
At his words she grinned and bit her lip. “Actually if you don’t mind, I would like to eat… I’m famished,” she laughed and looked down to her stomach. “At first I couldn’t stomach much, but not it seems I could eat anything in sight. Considering our situation in Port Nebel, that doesn’t leave much choice at the moment.”
 
 
They walked for some time, taking a different turn and they ended up in a small room, with a large window that covered the entire wall. It provided a view of the port city below. A small table was set, and she indicated for him to sit. Lorlan then entered the room and bowed. She nodded to him, and he walked away with the silent command. “It shouldn’t take very long.” She took her own seat, and readjusted her gown. “I hope you’re not very cross with me for my behavior the last time we spoke. I have been dealing with a lot of issues, one of which I’m surprised at your intuitiveness but you went straight to the heart of the matter…” her voice lowered and she swallowed. “I am having difficulty coping with what I have done,” she admitted.
 
 
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'''Roleplay from Hexic Jeckyl'''
 
 
Hexic approached Port Nebel by horseback, his Hexs at his back. 36 of the finest men in the service of D'Hara. Full morale, perfect cohesion, and seasoned to the point where training does nothing but damage armour. Now, if only he had the gold a city like Port Nebel brought, he would have 100 such men. Technically speaking he did have that kind of money, but that gold was destined for other purposes. Hence the visit to Port Nebel, Hexic needed to withdraw the funds from the bank.
 
 
When the Duke last corresponded with Duchess Sorsha, she was heading to Port Nebel, her city. Hexic hoped she was still here, he hadn't gotten a chance to speak with her in a personal nature when they last saw each other. He sent a messenger ahead, knowing she was likely busy. When he first became Duke, he was kept quite busy. Truth be told, whenever he was in the Lighthouse he was still quite busy most times. Governing such a large city, Hexic could only imagine all the work Sorsha had to do.
 
 
This was truly what Hexic had wanted when he came to D'Hara. He was in command of a stronghold, and was able to lead men into battle that wouldn't be dead by the end of the week...
 
 
Battle would begin in a few moments. The High Commander had instructed the Imperial Protectors to deploy in an Infantry Charge formation. It was the only way to break the monster hordes that had invaded Gelene Outskirts, and all the nobles were too poor to hire cavalry. Hexic was determined not to lose as many men this time. Fresh recruits were hard to find, especially when the Duke of Gelene ignored requests to have more men drafted. The Marshal gave the order to charge, and led it alongside Hexic, the High Commander. The battle raged for maybe three hours before Hexic came face to face with an Alpha Monster. This was the first time he had seen one. It was a mammoth of a creature, and fought like a devil. He and the few men left of his unit slew the creature, and Hexic recovered Taron's Nightblade of Doom. Only four of his fifteen man unit still stood. Most units were in similar condition, those which had not been wiped out anyway. Battles like this had become common place. Now however, the people had a symbol to rally around. Taron's Nightblade of Doom was the symbol.
 
 
"Sire, are you all right? You do not look well." Andric was genuinely concerned. Hexic's eyes had glazed over, and was pale, as if he had stopped breathing for a few minutes. "What? Sorry, I'm fine Andric. I was just remembering a place I never wish to visit again. Now, onto Port Nebel." Hexic brought his horse to a small trot so he could distance himself from Andric. The last thing his men needed was to start doubting him.
 
 
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'''Roleplay from Asriel Octavius'''
 
 
Asriel waited until Sorsha was seated before settling into his own chair. He leant forward slightly as she spoke and paid close attention.
 
 
"My lady, I am not cross with you, nor have I ever been so. I am... sorry, you are having difficulties coping. If you wish I may be able to help you, but the first step towards that is for you yourself to understand why you are finding it hard to cope." he said sympathetically.
 
 
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'''Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell'''
 
 
Sorsha’s violet flecked eyes watched him for a moment, his words made her feel more remorse and she quickly blinked hoping to clear up the sudden tears in them. “I’m sorry,” she said with a light laugh to hide her discomfort and wiped them swiftly away. “I have been extremely emotional lately,” she explained and took the napkin off the table and placed into her lap, focusing on something other than his understanding words.
 
 
She inattentively played with a corner of the cloth and stopped moving, her thoughts returning to her wedding day, and Rathan asking her to leave with him. If she had gone with him, he would still be alive… “I still loved him…” her lower lip trembled and another tear landed into her napkin. “And I killed him…” she licked her lip and shook her head, her entire body seeming to tremble, “he died thinking I hated him.”
 
 
She sniffed and wiped her cheek. “I don’t know why I tell you this…” she said and paused. “I am sorry… I do not think anyone else would understand,” she explained sorrowfully.
 
 
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'''Roleplay from Asriel Octavius''' 
 
 
"You did what you had to do at that time." said Asriel gently. "What happened could not have happened any other way. Your remorse is completely natural but it will not change the past. Rathan is beyond mortal harm now and is in a better place that this mortal coil."
 
 
He stood up and went over putting his arms around her, a complete breach of etiquette but one he could not help but make.
 
 
"You did what you had to do. You loved him but the destiny had already arranged things otherwise. You need to let go of the guilt. I am quite certain that he is looking down on us now. I'm sure he can see that you didn't hate him. The dead know far more than the living ever can. What matters now is you. You need to let the guilt go, for yourself, for your child and for those who care about you. If it helps you can atone for your actions. There are several ways you could do this but that would be a lengthy conversation, perhaps best saved for a time when you are feeling a little better. But trust me in this, it was not your fault. In your heart of hearts you know this to be true."
 
 
He gave a faint smile, "As for why you tell me, that is an easy question to answer. It is because I understand and because I will never judge you. I have sinned too much myself to ever judge another."
 
 
He pulled a clean handkerchief from his clothes and proffered it to her.
 
 
"Now, dry your eyes, the reason you are so emotional is no doubt because of the changes which pregnancy brings. Perhaps an herbalist might be able to provide a tonic which could help."
 
 
Then he held her until she stopped trembling and her eyes dried. He was certain she was still upset, but he hoped he could help alleviate matters somewhat by his presence.
 
 
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'''Roleplay from Hexic Jeckyl'''
 
 
Hexic left Andric in command of the men while he headed to the Shadovarian Palace. This town held so much history, just as much as as he did. When he arrived, the guards acknowledged his station, and granted him access without inquiring as to his purpose. Just inside the door, a servant had his back turned, conversing with another servant.
 
 
"Excuse me good sirs," Duke Hexic interrupted "Where might I find the Duchess?" The nearest servant whirled around at the Duke's voice, seeming to recognize it. "Duke Hexic! It is good to see you again sire!" exclaimed Lorlan. "Lorlan, is that you, you old dodger?" Hexic inquired "Indeed sire. It is always a pleasure to see you. How are the maidens of Qubel Lighthouse faring? I think they grew quite fond of me when I visited." replied Lorlan "They are doing well. Perhaps you should feign injury more often? Now Lorlan, the Duchess? I had sent word earlier that I would be arriving." said the Duke, a hint of annoyance showing in his tone. "Ah yes sorry, forgive me. She is currently dining with Sir Asriel. I'm sure she would not mind the extra company. Follow me sire." and Lorlan led the way to Sorsha's dining hall.
 
 
As Hexic and Lorlan neared the archway to the dining hall, the Duke stopped Lorlan and turned to him. "By the way Lorlan. I thought you should know... I sired a bastard and named him after you." without pause, Duke Hexic entered the hall, leaving Lorlan standing there his jaw hanging open.
 
 
Hexic entered the room, only to be equally shocked by Asriel hold Sorsha close. They both looked up at him, frozen for a moment. "Well, this isn't awkward at all.... nor the entrance I desired."
 
 
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'''Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell'''
 
 
It had been a long time since Sorsha had allowed herself to be comforted by anyone else other than Mathias. In this though, she would never seek his comfort, it would make the guilt in her heart unbearable. Perhaps this was why she had chosen Asriel to confide in. Maybe it was the compassion in his words that drew her, the promise that she would find peace and forgiveness was too tempting to ignore. Either way it felt good to let it out, and she couldn’t help but hold on to him afraid to let go, as if his presence grounded her. Too many times now she had cried herself to sleep, the loneliness setting in at the least opportune times, she couldn’t hold it in any longer.
 
 
For a moment, she could forget her station and be Sorsha once more. Forget the deep loyalty she owed the crown, to Cenarious which added to the torment of her guilt. She loved him as her own father and he her, as his own daughter but should he know just how deeply she had loved Rathan he would perhaps look on her differently. 
 
 
Maybe Asriel was right and Rathan was looking down on her at that very moment, but then she couldn’t help remembering his words telling her he came to see her from the netherworld where she had sent him. Had it all been a horrific nightmare? The thought made her sob and she cried harder. No…She had to believe he was in a beautiful place where he could see her heart and understand why she had done what she did. Where he would earn forgiveness for his deeds and she could put him to rest, not only in her mind but in her heart. The idea of Rathan finding peace and love at last after the torment she had put him through brought her a moment of peace. It took a while and she eventually calmed.
 
 
“Thank you,” she whispered to Asriel and then heard the door open and Hexic walked in.
 
 
Pulling away from Asriel, she turned to look at Hexic and froze at his words. She quickly wiped her tears away and swallowed. She walked to the door after giving Asriel an apologetic smile for the conclusion one would obviously come to, and smiled quickly in the other Duke’s direction, slipping her mask on.
 
 
“Duke Hexic what a wonderful surprise,” she said, intentionally turning in such a way, he would be unable to ignore her condition. “Sir Asriel, was simply congratulating me on my pregnancy, and I admit I am quite emotional these days and I managed to surprise him with my weepy reaction and he was only trying to comfort me,” she explained swiftly with a laugh. “I apologize for the manner in which you find me, had I known you would be here so quickly I would have made sure to greet you myself.”
 
 
Walking forward, she touched his hand delicately, knowing the effect she had once had on the man before her. Somehow along the way what had been attraction had turned to fondness and quickly friendship between them. “Please do join us for dinner, I will have Lorlan set up another place for you. He is so fond of you, I am sure he will be ecstatic to hear you will stay.”
 

Revision as of 15:04, 17 December 2012