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| − | '''Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell'''
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| − | Sorsha woke the next morning, feeling strangely calmer. The pain on the other hand was and would be there for a long time to come. Stepping off the bed, she began to dress. She glanced to the dresses she’d had newly acquired in her closet and slowly pushed them aside, swallowing the lump in her throat. Glancing further in, her eyes stopped on her blood red leathers and she took them out. It was a long time while she dressed, every few moments she would stop and wipe her eyes. It was so hard to breathe today… Every time she did, it was like swallowing a mouthful of suffocating air that only managed to take her breath rather than give it.
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| − | She remembered everything vividly. The small life she had been carrying which had been abruptly lost, Mathias’ disappearance, leading all the way up to her wedding day and Rathan’s death. The sleep potion she had taken in a desperate attempt to put an end to everything had been countered, her plan foiled. Now, her loneliness, her pain, her guilt, and her misery had all returned, only now it seemed worse because there wasn’t any hope to lighten it all.
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| − | While her life had bled from her, she’d had a dream, she also remembered that. He had talked with her, in his eyes she had seen the disappointment that she would try to throw her life away…she’s heard it in his voice. Her fists tightened around her gloves and she sighed, a new form of torment now. Would it never end?
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| − | Opening her bedchamber door, she then walked over to the grand window overlooking the port city down below. Lorlan then, seeming as if to appear out of nowhere, entered the room with a tray of food. “It is good to see you up and well Milady,” he smiled, and she ignored the food on the table. She wasn’t hungry.
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| − | He stood behind her, and bowed. “You have many letters, and many matters to attend to,” he said politely, “but whenever you are ready to attend to them.” He suggested, but she knew they were matters that would need to be dealt with promptly. Kisharianda was right, she was a Duchess and her life really wasn’t her own. It belonged to her King, the realm she served and the people she vowed to protect and speak for. “Yes…” she said softly. Duty first. “I will take care of the matter,” her voice was weak, without any of its usual life.
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| − | Lorlan bowed and was about to leave the room and her voice stopped him. “Master Lorlan… is Duke Hexic still in Port Nebel?”
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| − | “Uhm, no Milady, he left some time ago. He has been appointed Duke of Paisly now.” At his words, her eyes closed, the reminder of Mathias was in everything. “Then why is his ship still in the harbor?” she turned to look over her shoulder at him. “Oh yes… with all that has taken place,” he didn’t elaborate on that and continued, “Duke Hexic left it for you, it is a gift. The Guardian is now… yours,” he smiled.
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| − | Sorsha looked down to the beautiful ship, with a calculating gaze. She then left the window and made way to her study and leafed through many of the letters sent in her absence. Reports of the city were in abundance, and she paused as she read one in particular. As usual, Lorlan was not far off. “Lorlan, what do you know of a young knight, Thers Lewinn?”
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| − | “He is one of your knights,” he said and she nodded. “Yes I know that much,” she stated with an obvious expression. “I can find out what you wish Milady,” he stammered, and she nodded. “Do so, meanwhile I wish to speak with him in person. It seems loyal knights are few and far between, he seems a man of decisive action. He has done exceptional work in Port Nebel in my absence. I wish to see what type of man he is.”
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| − | Lorlan nodded and then was off. Sorsha then walked away from her desk and returned to her window. <i>Everything happens for a reason…</i> she thought. She would make sure to take the Guardian on a voyage, very soon.
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| − | '''Roleplay from Kisharianda Onyxien'''
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| − | Selena was sitting by the window as Misha taught her new words from her book. Kisharianda continued to work her spell to enchant a small rose quart she had picked for the Duchess. This small quart could be warn at the neck and would bring calmness and peaceful dreams to the owner, she thought this would be a good gift for Sorsha to help her find peace in her heart. Nothing could take away the pain of all that happened but this would surely help her find some well deserved rest and peace of mind. She finally finished her spell and held the quart in her hand, bringing it close to her lips she began the recite the words.
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| − | "Amicitiae nostrae memoriam spero sempiternam fore, Amor animi arbitrio sumitur, non ponitur, Amor est vitae essentia" and with a small breath of air she blew onto the stone and closed her hand around it "Amor vincit omnia" she whispered and smiled as the quart shone brightly in her hand.
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| − | "Misha will you stay with Selena, I'm going to see the Duchess for a few moments and we should get our things together I am needed in Port Raviel" she began to walk out.
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| − | "Mommy, I want to see Sorsha too" Selena ran to Kish excitedly
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| − | "Oh I know precious, and Sorsha wants to see you too but Mommy needs to see Aunt Sorsha alone, you can tell her good bye after you and Misha get us all ready to go home and see Daddy and the twins" she smiled and rose back to her feet.
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| − | "Okie dokie" she ran back to Misha and started to gather her books "I make us ready faster"
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| − | Kisharianda smiled, she didn't want to bring Selena with her to add to Sorsha's sadness and found her way to Sorsha quarters. She knocked lightly on the door and opened it finding Sorsha sitting there.
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| − | "Duchess may I have a moment of your time?" she asked as she walked in.
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| − | "I have this I wish to give you" she opened her hand "it's but a small rose quartz but if you wear it around your neck it will bring you peace, and help you find your way to better tomorrows" she smiled and handed her the quartz that hung from one of Kisharianda's small golden chains.
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| − | "I really wish I could stay longer but I am needed in Port Raviel and must make haste back before my people ravage the city trying to find food to eat" she sighed "Hoping Jordan's travels will be swift back to the Port" she smiled hopeful
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| − | "I would really like if you would visit with us when you feel up to it, the King and I would love to have you spend a couple days in Port Raviel, not to mention Selena has been asking when her Aunt Sorsha will go riding with her" she smiled "But only when you are ready"
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| − | She knew she was asking much of her but she wanted to make sure that Sorsha kept busy so that she didn't have to much time on her hands to think of the horrible things she had just experienced.
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| − | "And Master Ugyel wishes to see you as well" she paused "I hear he is looking for another student" she grinned "If you feel up to the challenge"
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| − | '''Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell'''
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| − | Sorsha rose from the seat she had brought near her window and faced Kisharianda. She held her hand out, and the Queen slid the quartz in her palm with the gold chain. The crystal felt warm to the touch, a familiar sensation coursed through her hand and she gave a small nod of her head. “Yes I understand my Queen. I apologize if I caused you some delay. In the future I shall do everything in my power to ensure your stay is a pleasant one.”
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| − | Her light blue eyes looked down to her new possession and she slipped it around her neck. When she looked up at Kisharianda, she gave a small smile. The thought of Master Ugyel looking for another student seemed interesting. Only with the thought of magick… came thoughts of someone else. The violet flecks in her eyes seemed to dance and she walked away, averting her face. “I shall make sure to visit when I return to Port Raviel, I will also visit Master Ugyel, and see if I am worthy to be taught.”
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| − | Pressing her lips together, she took a deep breath and controlled her facial expression to nothingness. “I have a request to make,” she said and looked back to Kisharianda.
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| − | “Please inform the King that my silence is only… temporary, and surely not intentional. I shall return to active duty soon enough, I simply need time to find myself. It seems I have again lost my way… If I ever regain control of my life and rediscover who I am, then I will return better than before. If I cannot find that… then… I shall leave D’Hara and remove the burden,” she whispered the last and bowed deeply to the Queen. “Have a safe voyage your highness. If Selena so wishes, she can bring Lasair with her until I return to Port Raviel.”
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| − | With that, Sorsha left the Queen’s presence with what form of dignity she still had, and broke away before her mask slipped away to reveal the sorrow beneath.
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| − | '''Roleplay from Thers Lewinn'''
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| − | Duchess Sorsha’s request for Thers Lewinn to attend to her at the ducal palace was a pleasant, if embarrassing surprise. His abrupt reaction to the Sir Asriel’s message of Sorsha’s poisoning had caused a minor stir among the populace of the city. The doubled presence of guards on the city walls and gates was impossible to conceal, and the heavy human traffic traveling in and out of the city circulated their presence immediately. More than a handful of merchants had closed their shops and began discretely reinforcing their warehouses against phantom marauders. Several members of the city’s prominent commoners had even quietly approached him with questions about the city’s impending demise. But the perceived threat to the city never materialized – Port Nebel remained safe and quiet. Whatever happened to the Duchess, it was not a plot on her life, or the city’s safety.
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| − | As he mounted the palace steps, Thers paused to admire the ornate beauty of the structure. The dignity and power of those who ruled the city over the centuries was plainly evident in the building’s decoration. Thers privately hoped to command such a domain one day, however distant. In the short term, the young man would be satisfied with dutiful service.
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| − | Upon entering the structure’s fore chamber, an attendant dressed in the colors of Sorsha’s banner greeted him. Thers produced the note written in the Duchess’ scribe’s strong hand.
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| − | There would be a short wait. Would he perhaps take some wine – newly arrived from The Guardian – the Duchess’ new flagship?
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| − | Thers waived the attendant off – he was not a drinker and consuming the gifts of Duke Hexic, undoubtedly meant for the Duchess Sorsha, seemed imprudent.
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| − | As he waited in the forechamber reserved for noble callers, Thers heard Kisharianda, Queen Onyxien, and her retinue depart from the palace. The Duchess truly has many powerful friends within the realm, thought the knight. The attendant returned and led Thers to Sorsha’s audience chamber for their first formal meeting. As he stood, Thers felt a bead of sweat condense and slither down his back.
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| − | '''Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell'''
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| − | After taking a few moments to pull herself together, Sorsha was once more in control of her emotions. She hated the way she left the Queen, but she couldn’t afford to become any more of a burden to her than she already had, it was best if she left with a somewhat appearance of control.
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| − | Lorlan came around the corner as she returned to her study and stopped her. “My lady, Sir Thers has arrived and he is now waiting for you in the Audience Chamber,” he bowed and she nodded, instead of continuing to the study, she changed direction.
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| − | It was a short while later, Sorsha entered the chamber. It was quite large, reserved for her court hearings, as had every Duke before her.
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| − | Why she even remembered the first time she stood in this chamber herself. A naïve and innocent young woman, she had come to make a grievance to her lord… in her own way, trying to claim his attention and heart, Mathias. She had to do something about these memories that kept coming to her at the most inopportune moments…
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| − | She glanced up, and noticed who could only be Sir Thers standing tall before her empty throne. He looked quite young, but stood proud, and she noticed a slight amount of tension in his shoulders.
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| − | With the many years she spent commanding soldiers, knights, not forgeting the company she had kept. Which ranged from men as dark as her dead lover Rathan, to her very close friend Bowie, self proclaimed Dark Prince. Then there were those with extreme paranoia who trusted none, like her husband Mathias. To the man she greatly admired who led his army with an iron fist, Hexic and finally to the teachings of her father in name, King Cenarious. A man who had been an Elite soldier, Champion, Marshal and General who commanded respect with a simple look, who had taken her under his wing from the moment she stepped foot into D’Hara. One could say Sorsha smelled fear. She’d had good teachers after all…
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| − | Over this time, Sorsha had experienced many transformations, one of which had led her to changes in her persona when it was needed. Had she in reality become a predator who adapted to her surroundings? One of these transformations had led to the leathers she now wore. The material hugged every curve tightly, every belt fitted to perfection, its color blood red, which would mask any traces of blood should it ever come in contact with her clothes. Her dark brown hair was pulled back into a braid that reached her waist.
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| − | When she walked to the throne in the room, she turned to face him. Normally she may have preyed on his fear, but not today…
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| − | “Sir Thers Lewinn…” she greeted. “I am pleased with the swiftness in which you’ve answered my request.” She paused and then approached him. Her light blue eyes looked into his, the eerie violet flecks in them overpowering the blue. “You must wonder why I have called upon you this day,” she said and then cocked her head as if studying him, in fact she was.
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| − | It was a few moments and she then continued to speak. “Word of my supposed poisoning has reached many. To alleviate any doubts, I was ill but as you can now see for yourself, I am well, and unharmed,” she waved a hand over her body, and then stopped. “Although, it has been brought to my attention that during this time, someone took it upon themselves to direct the security of my city…” she paused for effect.
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| − | Watching him, she made note of the smallest hint of an emotion to her words. “I have to say, I have not seen anyone react this quickly and decisively in a long time.” She gave a curious expression, and walked away as to allow him some breathing room. She knew she could be intimidating.
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| − | “I for one am…pleased at this knight’s reaction.” She reached her throne and finally sat. “I see in him potential, vigilance and courage. Someone who is not afraid to do what is needed in order to ensure first the people’s safety and that of their lord. Also I must note, his continued performance and dedication to the people of Port Nebel have not gone unnoticed. This is a man who should be commended, do you not agree?” she asked, waiting.
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| − | '''Roleplay from Lycan Moreira'''
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| − | It was a cold night when he arrived at the Ducal Palace. He stood there looking at the main entrance unsure of whether he should knock on the door. He stood there silently with his head hung down. How mad was she at him? Would she even want to look at him after all this time without a word. After what she had just gone through…
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| − | He took a deep breath and knocked twice, the second almost unheard. A few minutes after, an older man opened the door. “Sir, can I help you?”
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| − | The other man took his helmet and placing it under his left arm he looked up. “Sir Lycan! Please come in.” Lorlan said when recognition hit him. Lycan nodded and walked inside without a word following Lorlan to a waiting room. “Wait here Sir, I will announce your presence. Again Lycan nodded without a word. He had been riding for four days since the last battle in Paisland against those foul monsters.
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| − | Just after that he received word of the terrible news. He left Gregor in charge and took Luna and rode as fast as he could to Paisly, then took the ship to Port Raviel, bought another horse so we could ride non-stop and left towards Port Nebel.
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| − | He looked worn down, darkened eyes from the lack of sleep and a week old beard had grown wildly. No wonder Lorlan didn’t recognize him at first…
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| − | Now he waited. Unsure of what to say if she agreed to see him.
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| − | '''Roleplay from Thers Lewinn'''
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| − | The Duchess’ demeanor was intimidating, and her comments, although plainly in compliment, made Thers uncomfortable. Scrutiny, more than any task or physical threat, was the young knight’s surest weakness. The possibility of a plot against Port Nebel and the Duchess had required action – immediate action, however unnecessary the passage of time showed otherwise. In that, Thers Lewinn had never wavered in his belief. But standing before this woman, second only to the Dragon King in loyalties, provoked a sort of trepidation. His attention snapped to the moment; He had to answer her question before his pause was misinterpreted.
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| − | Thers spoke slowly, to prevent a betrayal from his youngish voice: “Milady, to perform any act in service of one’s country and liege is both duty and privilege.”
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| − | The Duchess merely observed him twitching; the young man before her was clearly uncomfortable around the older, powerful and influential noble – one whose relationship with the Dragon King was described as near-familial.
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| − | “I act only as all good knights of D’Hara would for their homeland. It is my pleasure to serve you and my family’s home,” Thers continued. A moment’s pause, then finally: “In that light, I must ask your leave to travel to the capital. I wish to assist the Queen’s clerks in resolving the recent troubles which have developed.”
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| − | '''Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell'''
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| − | “Yes, you’ve acted as all good knights should…” she echoed in a musing tone, the meaning clearly intended as a reminder that in the past not all knights acted as such. “You may go to Port Raviel, but before you leave this chamber there is one more thing.”
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| − | Motioning for him to come forward, she then examined him again. She couldn’t very well say she was pleased by his obvious discomfort, but it was nice to know her effect hadn’t waned.
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| − | Taking a small breath she then rose from her chair and this time she smiled, and it was genuine. “In light of recent events, your courage and loyalty, the King, by my recommendation, has decided to grant you rank.”
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| − | He seemed to frown at her words, as if not truly understanding their meaning and she explained. “You have earned your place among The Black Lions, the elite of D’Hara, the King’s personal guard and army. Welcome to the Black Lions, Sir Thers.”
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| − | '''Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell'''
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| − | It hadn’t been long after her revelation to Sir Thers that Lorlan appeared at the entrance to the audience hall. Sorsha glanced over to see him obviously trying to gain her attention. She looked to the knight one last time and gave a slight nod. “I hope you’re as valiant with the Lions as you have been to me so far,” she complimented. “May your travels to Port Raviel be safe.”
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| − | Bidding him goodbye, she left the room and returned to see Lorlan. As soon as she was within earshot, he spoke. “My lady, it seems you have another visitor, Sir Lycan has arrived,” he announced and her brow rose with surprise and she let out a soft sigh.
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| − | It wasn’t that she wasn’t glad to see him, but every moment spent trying to keep her mask in place was exhausting. All she wanted was to go back to her room, crawl into her bed and never come out. Ever since her miscarriage and her attempt at eternal sleep she hadn’t had much time to rest. She supposed in the end it did keep her busy, and kept her mind from racing where it shouldn’t.
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| − | “Very well,” she said and began to walk away to personally greet him. She entered the waiting room and blinked when she noticed his appearance. “I have to say Lycan, you look how I feel,” she blurted without thinking and he looked up to see her standing there.
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| − | '''Roleplay from Lycan Moreira'''
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| − | She entered the waiting room and blinked when she noticed his appearance. “I have to say Lycan, you look how I feel,” she blurted without thinking and he looked up to see her standing there.
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| − | Standing up he slowly walked up to her and took her hands in his sighing. “Sorsha I’m glad to see you. I would hug you but as you can see you’d probably faint at my …”perfume”. He said somewhat embarrassed. “I’ve traveled for four days straight right after the battle in Paisland, so please forgive my appearance. I came here as fast as I could.” He looked into her eyes and saw her amusement at his embarrassment. He gave a small smile but his eyes changed into sadness as he remembered not only why he was there but also how he had failed her.
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| − | “Sorsha, forgive me for not keeping my promise to be here for you whenever needed. I thought Mathias was with you and then I read a report about him abandoning Paisly and disappearing… I’m sorry.” He lowered his eyes seeing the pain he was causing her. He didn’t want to cause her more pain but he had to explain why he was suddenly there.
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| − | '''Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell'''
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| − | Sorsha looked down with a saddened expression but didn’t add anything to his words. She shrugged and gave him a weak smile, she barely had the energy or will to do so, but she did anyway. “What is there to say Lycan?” she asked, and then answered her own question. “Nothing… Mathias is gone,” she said the last with finality and turned away. She was so tired of lying to everyone, she wished for once she didn’t have to… but the truth was, she had to. If she truly told them all what she was feeling they would never leave her alone again. “No need for forgiveness Lycan,” she said softly and she closed her eyes sadly. “It’s no one’s fault but my own. I obviously never learn…”
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| − | Taking her hand, she began to turn away, “I will have the servants prepare a bath for you, and then some food. Once you have freshened up and filled your belly I am sure you will feel better again.” Her tone seemed empty, without life. “If you wish to speak afterwards, I will be in my study. Until then Lorlan will assist you with whatever you need.”
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| − | She nodded to Lorlan who wasn’t far off, having heard her words and he immediately gave out the orders for her guest.
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| − | Sorsha then left Lycan, and walked back to her study. When she got there, she lay down on a lounging chair that faced the window and stared out at the night sky. Leaning her head onto her hands, she gave a long sigh and watched the twinkling of the stars.
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| − | What a pitiful creature she was… She had made so many choices and each had led to misery. She had many friends, some so incredibly close she considered family… but as grateful as she was for them… they would never fill the emptiness she felt now.
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| − | '''Roleplay from Lycan Moreira'''
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| − | Lycan followed Lorlan to a room where he finally took a bath and shaved.
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| − | Afterwards he walked back downstairs and peeked through the door of her study and watched her on her lounging chair staring at the night sky. “May I come in now?” he asked in a low voice not wanting to disrupt her contemplative mood. She looked back at him and simply nodded. He took another chair and sat close beside her.
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| − | “I can hug you now.” he said as a joke trying to take her mind of the troubling thoughts she was definitely going through. “Do you mind if I stay here just watching the stars with you? It’s been a long time since I actually stopped and looked up.” He said hoping she would allow his presence to ease some of her burden. Or was he being a nuisance?
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| − | Whatever she needed he would not decline. She was in need of a friend and she didn’t need to keep up wearing that mask… he knew her and he had seen her masks before.
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| − | '''Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell'''
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| − | Sorsha nodded, allowing him to enter, but her attention immediately returned to the stars. His voice filled the silence with the mention of a hug but she didn’t even look at him.
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| − | Lycan had what seemed an incredible amount of patience and simply sat there with her, waiting; two inanimate statues. It was a long time and Sorsha finally spoke, breaking the spell. Her voice was so soft, she wasn’t sure he even heard her. “Do you think he misses me?” she asked, not really expecting an answer.
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| − | She grew silent again. Thinking of her life, so many thoughts raced through her mind. The people she had been friends with and still was. The changes in her life, what had led her to them. Conrac…Mathias…Rathan…Everything up to her wedding day. Oh she remembered her wedding day, how could she forget? She had given herself to the one man who would leave her, and killed the one who didn’t want to leave without her.
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| − | She looked over to Lycan for a moment and her gaze returned to the stars. Her one comfort, because they were always there, always waiting. Night after night, they twinkled, returning to bring light to the darkness even though miniscule at times they were there nonetheless. They never failed her, even though she sometimes forgot to look.
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| − | “Did you know Rathan once named the stars for me…” she told him and her eyes filled with moisture at the memory. “But I can’t remember all their names,” she whispered with a broken voice.
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| − | She sniffed and closed her eyes. “I can’t even…” she let out a shaky breath and tried over, “I can’t even remember the sound of his voice anymore…” she sounded lost, almost panicked.
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| − | She reached up to wipe tears that had slipped to her hands. “I’m forgetting so much… I don’t want to forget,” her lips started to tremble as she tried to control herself.
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| − | “I can’t even remember what he smelled like…” closing her eyes tightly she curled up on her chair. “The taste of him…” There was no telling who she meant, it could have been either Mathias or Rathan, or perhaps both.
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| − | “I feel like someone has taken my heart from me. I can’t feel its beating any longer,” her voice was pained. “Lycan, how can I live without my heart?” she asked and broke down in tears. “I can already feel myself slipping back into the void, I don’t want to go back there…” her voice broke again, filling with soft crying, but then it grew into sobbing, the sound heartbreaking, coming from deep within.
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| − | '''Roleplay from Lycan Moreira'''
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| − | Lycan heart broke seeing her sobbing. He couldn’t help but get closer and hold her in his arms. He didn’t know what to tell her. Of course no one could live without a heart and he surely didn’t want her going back to the void.
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| − | He closed his eyes as he felt how much suffering she was going through. No wonder she had made that foolish decision… They stayed there, him holding her close for what seemed like the longest time until she calmed down a little. Then whispering in her ear he said “Sorsha, someone wise once told me that the Gods didn’t give you more than you could handle in life.”
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| − | He pulled back so he could look into her eyes and wiping some of her tears he raised her chin so she could see the truth in his eyes and softly spoke “My dear friend, I know I am a poor substitute for that love you speak of but I will always be here for you just like those stars.” He gave a small smile and continued “Whenever you feel down and lost just write to me and I will be here. You're not alone. Don’t be silent and keep your emotions and feelings inside.” He stopped for a minute remembering what he had gone through with his sister’s death and then added “Silence is corrosive and it leads to regret and more pain.” He lowered his eyes. “I should have known something was wrong when I didn’t hear from you for the longest time. But you were married, I thought….” He sighed at his stupidity.
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| − | “I promise you I won’t make that mistake twice. Whether others will see it as improper or not, I don’t care. You’re family…” he gave her a reassuring smile.
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| − | ----
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| − | '''Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell'''
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| − | Sorsha felt his hand on her chin and looked sadly into his eyes. She listened to his words in silence. When he was done, she gave him a weak nod and he reached over to hold her again and she was powerless to stop the deluge of tears that returned. It was unavoidable, the simple contact brought up all of the emotions she was trying so hard to keep in. “I’m so tired of being here Lycan…” she held on to him so tightly, as if afraid that he as well would let her go and disappear. She wanted to say more, but she would continue to keep her dark secrets.
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| − | She continued to cry some more, her breathing accompanied with whimpers of pain but she didn’t say another word. It was a long time before she was able to stop crying, and when she did, she simply lay down and eventually closed her eyes. Every once in a while a sniffle escaped with a trembling of her body, but she miraculously managed to fall asleep from exhaustion.
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