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| − | '''Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell:'''
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| − | Sorsha arrived in Port Nebel alone. Her men had been dispatched on her order to assist with The Count on his crusade. She rolled her tired shoulders and began removing her saddle off Gaoth. She made sure to personally brush him down before she left.
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| − | When she returned into her estate Lorlan was already waiting for her. “My Lady!” he practically squeaked and added nervously. “You have returned quickly, did you find what you were looking for?”
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| − | Pausing in the doorway she sighed, “yes and no.” She walked past him and then stopped and he bumped into her. “My apologies my Lady I uhm… Could I get you something?” he bobbed his head quickly, avoiding her gaze.
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| − | This time she frowned. “No, could I get <i>you</i> something?” her eyebrow rose questioningly. “A relaxing herbal mixture? You seem very on edge.”
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| − | “Erm, no… I’m simply surprised to see you home so early,” he rushed out quickly and she rolled her eyes. “It won’t be for long, I have much to do. Have a carriage prepared. Find the whereabouts of Sir Conrac, it is quite unexpected but we have several matters to discuss all of which have been left unfinished far too long now.”
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| − | It was his turn to frown and then he stammered behind her, “ver…very well.”
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| − | She started to walk away and then turned again. “Oh, Duke Mathias wasn’t too hard on you was he?” she asked innocently and his eyes widened and his mouth closed with a pop. A grin crept easily on her face. She never thought she would enjoy it, but watching him squirm was very amusing.
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| − | “Uh… uh…” his eyes shifted to and fro. “Due to the circumstances, you are forgiven. How else would the Duke be informed that it was my birth date?”
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| − | She could see the servant mentally reprimanding himself the oversight.
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| − | “Thank you,” she said softly, and walked away to her bedchamber.
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| − | While she waited for the preparations to be done, Sorsha took a hot bath, scented with lavender and roses. She then dressed in a royal blue gown with a light silver belt adorning her waist. The fabric made from rich soft material. The long sleeves reached mid gown, the edges of the gown brushing the floor with her every step.
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| − | Her hair was freshly washed of all the dust and dirt from her recent riding and she had her maid add only a few braids, throughout her long brown locks.
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| − | Last she added her silver chain, with her new crystal.
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| − | Before she left, she went to a large chest in the back of her chamber and opened it. Kneeling on the ground, she removed a large object wrapped in a heavy black blanket. She would no longer need it. It was time to return it.
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| − | Her carriage was prepared and she was led to an inn, called the small peg. She closed the door to the carriage and walked inside. Inquiring with the innkeeper she was directed to a small quiet room at the back of the establishment.
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| − | When she walked in, she noticed Conrac sitting by a fireplace, preoccupied with a book before him. He had not noticed her yet and she took a small moment to really look at him. It had been so long since she had last seen him, yet he was as beautiful as ever. Could it be a crime to have such looks? Shaking her head lightly she entered the room.
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| − | Then he turned and did notice her. Upon seeing her he stopped and lowered his book. They shared a long moment of silence and she was the first to break her gaze. “It is good to see you again,” she said softly, unable to hide the emotion of longing in her voice.
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| − | '''Roleplay from Conrac Amcastra:'''
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| − | Conrac nodded cheerfully. "I was in bed for a few days and it seems like a lot has happened." He motioned to a chair.
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| − | "Sit down, you'll forgive me for not congratulating you on your birthday I was a bit indisposed." Conrac picked up a small package nearby.
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| − | "Its nothing special, I was saddened to find that I have no talent for gifts." As Sorsha opened it she found that inside the package was quite simply a dagger, sharp and plain. Its only decoration were simple carvings on the blade that stated "Higher than honor".
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| − | Conrac took out a familiar dagger, "I believe we're now even. You have my dagger and I have yours." He smiled mischievously.
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| − | "How have you been?"
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| − | '''Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell:'''
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| − | Sorsha was speechless. Conrac simply picked up their lives as if only a moment had passed them by, if only he knew what she had been through. The doubts she had lived with, the fear. Gods she wanted to rush to him and simply hold him and have everything melt away by the comfort of his presence but she knew she would never be able to that now.
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| − | Then she looked down to the dagger and then to Síoraí in Conrac’s hands, stupefied. Had he known what she was coming here to do? No it was impossible.
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| − | It was a moment before she closed her mouth and shifted uncomfortably. This made what she had to do all the more difficult. She gave a long slow blink and then finally managed to work her mouth to get the words past her numb lips. “You have never disappointed me,” she told him with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. “It is I on the other hand, who…”
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| − | Taking a seat beside him, she cleared her throat from the emotional lump in it. “There is no easy way for me to do this Conrac,” she raised the package and carefully removed the blanket to reveal a jagged edged sword. It looked exactly as she had received it and she lowered her eyes. “I am not worthy of this sword,” she handed it to him with the blanket to make sure he wouldn’t cut himself. “Not only have I made an oath I did not fulfill… I…”
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| − | Conrac took the sword from her hands and she took her dagger Síoraí from his. Feeling the familiar handle and balance of the large dagger, she closed her eyes with satisfaction as if being reunited with a part of herself. She longingly touched the Gaelic engraving on the edge. She had never translated it for him, or defined its meaning. But it was more sacred to her than anything she had ever possessed. “Neart, Grá agus Onóir, ea Siroai,” she traced with her finger, and then translated softly, “Strength, Love and Honor is Eternal.”
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| − | He regarded her curiously and she let out a long sigh. “I promised to fight for you…and I disappeared like a coward. I promised I would always be true to you… and I was not. It was not out of spite, I…” she rose from the chair and paced the small room, the soft hissing of the fireplace being the only sound. “You once said my life belonged to you… and it did in every aspect…”
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| − | This was even harder than she had imagined. She stopped pacing as she walked away from him, her back to him. “I…” she swallowed again. “I loved you Conrac…” she said softly, bluntly and her body turned warm and cold simultaneously. She still did, somewhere deep down she still did… she was hopeless.
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| − | “I understood that you were and still are meant for a much greater purpose than I… and I accept that,” she rushed the last out quickly. Again the silence and she turned to face him. She had to see his face now. “I came here tonight to settle unfinished matters between us. Maybe not for you, but for me… I wish to regain my honor for what I have done. I know it is unfair of me to ask this of you now, after what I have told you. I did not want anything left unsaid between us. I have broken my vow, therefore I offer my life.”
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| − | She kneeled before him, holding her dagger up handle first and lowered her head to reveal the back of her neck. “Just… make it swift,” she pleaded in a whisper.
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| − | She had come back for Síoraí, but now faced with Conrac and his recent action, she did not know how else to right her wrong. She simply couldn’t have asked for it to be returned and erase everything that had taken place, it wasn’t that easy. She bit her lip, the seconds ticking in her mind.
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| − | '''Roleplay from Conrac Amcastra:'''
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| − | Conrac remained silent. The crimson glow of the setting sun filled the room and his skin felt the warmth and the cool promise of the night wind. As Sorsha began talking he turned around. With his back to her, he whispered."You did run away... And it wasn't exactly an appropriate time to do so, what with D'hara in the midst of a tug of war between two factions."
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| − | He didn't want to hear this, not from Sorsha. He didn't want to hear about her failings or her shames. All he wanted was to talk to a someone precious to him about everyday things. In some ways perhaps he wasn't meant to be a lord. His joy was in his books and in his artifacts. He heard the thump of a sword being placed on his desk.
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| − | "I loved you..." Conrac froze and for the first he turned and face Sorsha. This was unexpected...
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| − | 'Doesn't Mathias and Rathan have a thing with her?' Conrac's mind rushed with different thoughts. Three of his favorite people and now him were now involved in a very awkward love square. Conrac closed his eyes and let his thoughts subside slowly, she had spoken in past tenses, there was no need to respond. After all it would be like discussing yesterday's weather... Meaningless and futile.
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| − | "Just make it quick." Conrac said nothing, but watched her kneel on the floor before him. His cold eyes pinched shut as he took the dagger from her hand.
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| − | "Are you not afraid of death? Or are you afraid to live." Conrac stated simply. The dagger rose in the air.
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| − | "This is your punishment." He brought it down swiftly. The air whistled as the dagger came.
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| − | A loud ring arose as Conrac smacked Sorsha on the head with the flat part of the dagger.
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| − | "FOR BEING AN IDIOT!"
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| − | As Sorsha's head stopped ringing Conrac flew into a tirade.
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| − | "Conrac, I..."
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| − | "Shush Sorsha. Just do what I tell you to do. You know the price for disobedience. He took out some string and pulled tight.
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| − | "But there is a price for loyalty, is there not?" Conrac nodded to himself.
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| − | He whispered quietly. "Nothing is more valuable to me or our realm than loyalty, Sorsha." He took the string and began tying it to the sword.
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| − | "Let knights have their honor. It only makes them predictable." The string became a knot under his fingers.
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| − | "And let administrators have their books. A book cannot teach you pain." The black and the red folding together...
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| − | "Kings are blinded by their pride." Making a pattern...
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| − | "Soldiers think strength is the key, bu it takes more than strength to swim." No, not a pattern, but a web...
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| − | "A priest's self-contradictory preaching only serves to confuse him." A delicate web of darkness and blood...
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| − | "And the rest..." He laughed. "Who care what they think?" He stepped back and looked at the design he had put on his sword.
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| − | "Now put on that sword, I didn't give you leave to kill yourself." Conrac stared past Sorsha and looked out the window. His eyes distant and his voice fading into the wind.
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| − | "Tell me, Sorsha," he said to her, "if you were to die tomorrow, would your regrets outweigh your memories?"
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| − | '''Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell:'''
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| − | Sorsha touched the tender area at the back of her head and winced. His words replaying in her mind, "Are you not afraid of death? Or are you afraid to live?" Such a simple question digging straight to the heart of the matter and she looked down in shame. She was just trying to regain strength and conviction and it seemed she would not get that either. She was trying to reset her path, so that she would be able to set a straight course without confusion and her feelings getting in her way, even then she wasn’t as strong as she wanted to be.
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| − | Taking the sword he gave her, she looked at the stringed web, seeing how every one had its own course to follow and she nodded with understanding, setting it aside. Looking up she then watched as he seemed to look through her. Was he unable to look her in the eye now that she had admitted how she felt for him? Even if she were to admit that she had never stopped loving him, they would make no difference now; they had caused no visible reaction from him a moment ago.
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| − | “Tell me, Sorsha,” he said softly, “if you were to die tomorrow, would your regrets outweigh your memories?”
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| − | The question was incredibly meaningful and she took a long controlled breath. She thought of it for a long moment. Thinking how there was so much work to be done, so much she wanted to see. So many people that played smart parts of her life yet were as important to her as the very air rushing to her lungs. People she needed to see one more time. People she now knew she could not live without. And then, there was so much left unsaid.
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| − | “My regret would be that there are not enough memories,” she answered him and the firelight cast twinkles in her moist eyes. He stopped looking at the window to look at her.
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| − | “Oh Conrac…” she breathed his name, this time she didn’t stop to think everything through and closed the distance between them to put her arms around his neck, acting on impulse. “Please forgive me,” she whispered into his ear. “I am such a mess,” she admitted to him and her arms tightened, as if afraid of letting him go again. “I’ve missed you so much,” she told him emotionally.
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| − | '''Roleplay from Conrac Amcastra:'''
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| − | Conrac was a brilliant strategist. People had been telling that to him since he had been a little boy. Cunning, ruthless and unforgiving, Conrac was also practical and pragmatic. A few years ago he had been a simple knight. At the siege of Port Nebel, Conrac perfectly read the situation and threw his weight behind the new D'hara government helping to take down the former Shadovar rulers. He was rewarded with the title of Duke of Port Nebel for that action. Then after Katayanna's growing madness he had once more examined the situation and realized that Katayanna's draconic zeal would inevitably fall to Cenarious's military efficiency and sense of tradition. Thus, it was that Conrac managed to make himself invaluable to every new government.
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| − | Still to say that Conrac had no honor would be over simplifying the situation. During his time as general of Viridian he had stood up to the ruler, Vesna despite the fact that Vesna had the overwhelming advantage in terms of power, political might and wealth. Conrac had always been willing to lay down his life for the concepts and people he respects, even as he sneers at the concept of chivalry. He supported Cenarious because he agreed with Cenarious's views on ruling. They weren't rebels dammit! They were revolutionaries!
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| − | Unfortunately this view of the world made him suffer from the cardinal weakness of most strategists. Despite the fact that he displayed remarkable insights when advising other people, when it comes to making decisions for himself, his judgments tend to be based on what he feels rather then what he knows. So when Sorsha grabbed him by the neck and whispered in his ear. He did what every strategist "knows" your not suppose to do.
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| − | He kissed her, thus involving himself in a relationship with a subordinate. As his overly energetic brain began working again, he stared down at Sorsha and stated simply "I missed you too".
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| − | '''Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell:'''
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| − | Sorsha felt him pull back slowly and closed her eyes at his words. Was this truly happening? Had she been wrong this entire time? Had he felt for her as she had, but like her he had been unable to tell her? She shook her head lightly, trying to understand but all she could feel was the racing of her heart. It had been just a kiss but she had felt his desire no less.
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| − | A few seconds passed as she gazed into his eyes. She had waited for this moment for so long, yearned for it… dreamed of it. She let out a small whimper at being unable to hold back any longer. This time she kissed him so passionately, her head swirled with light-headedness. Her fingers brushed into the back of his hair and she rose on her toes, her longing uncontrollable. At that moment, she didn’t care about the world, all she could do was feel.
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| − | “Oh Conrac, I still love you,” she told him breathlessly. “Gods help me, I still love you,” she moaned and kissed him again.
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| − | '''Roleplay from Conrac Amcastra:'''
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| − | Serve. Obey. Protect. Simple vows that he had made at the start of his life, the simple vows that all Amcastra members make. His duty had been clear since he had been born. He would one day marry a woman that his older brother chose and thus help strengthen the political bonds that kept the family treasury filled and bloodlines strong. And yet?
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| − | Conrac stared down at Sorsha for a few minutes longer as he quietly stroked her hair pondering the turn of events. Finally he sighed quietly.
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| − | "Sorsha... I'll give up my family and their customs." He buried his head into her hair and breathed quietly.
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| − | "Until you wish to go your own way... Until then, if you would just stay by my side holding my hand... We'll be fine."
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| − | '''Roleplay from Sorsha McDowell:'''
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| − | At Conrac’s words, tears formed in her eyes. Sorsha had thought loving him would in the end only bring her pain, but his sacrifice for her meant more than any whispered words of love he could have uttered. The doubts she’d had evaporated, the fear abated, and… being with him again she found strength.
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| − | At his embrace, she buried her face into his neck, seeking the warmth and comfort only he had been able to provide her. The sensation she had longed for this entire time, the emptiness she had felt grow inside her, she filled with him. With him she was home.
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| − | “If I go anywhere Conrac, it will be with you,” she whispered the promise in his ear and held him tightly again. “Always with you,” she looked up and traced her fingers along his handsome features.
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| − | What a chaotic few weeks she’d had and now this. She took his hands and backed up to the large cushioned sofa and sat down, where he joined, facing her. “I have so much to tell you,” she said so softly, knowing what she would tell him might hurt, but she needed to come clean about everything in her heart and she couldn’t keep lies from him. He listened as she began to tell him all that had taken place in her life and in D’Hara in his absence. He in turn talked with her until there was a small light on the horizon.
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| − | Realizing how quickly the night had passed them by, she bid him farewell. She kissed him passionately and held on tightly with soft whispered words of love and left with a lingering look over her shoulder.
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| − | Riding in her carriage, her heart was filled with joy and her eyes glistened emotionally. Was this truly happening? When she returned home, she slipped into her large bed and slept the day away, her dreams filled with him.
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