|
|
| Line 1: |
Line 1: |
| − | '''Roleplay from Kaylan McDowell'''
| |
| | | | |
| − | Kaylan watched the flames of the fire in silence, as it danced with a hiss and pop and tried to clear her mind of all thoughts. The smoke rose and trailed off to the mouth of the cave that had been her shelter for the last couple of weeks. Fiona had left a short while before to hunt asking her if she wished to join her, but she had feigned weakness, promising she would join her on the next. She never followed through on her empty promise.
| |
| − |
| |
| − | She would never tell her sister, but Kaylan longed for these moments. She would forever be grateful for her help and attention. Fiona had nursed her back to health, at night when Kaylan woke screaming and crying she was immediately at her side, whispering comforting words until she fell asleep again. If it hadn’t been for Fiona, she would be dead.
| |
| − |
| |
| − | As much as she loved her sister, the pity in her green eyes made Kaylan feel as if she would break. It was as if Fiona carefully watched her actions and edited her words out of fear that she would break her further. Although Fiona had a perfectly good reason for this, Kaylan didn’t like the reminder of her weakness. On the outside she appeared in complete control of herself, but deep down she was holding on to her sanity with a weak grip.
| |
| − |
| |
| − | “It’s over,” she whispered the words that had become her mantra and looked up to the cave wall where Dalvax had spent the last moments of his wretched existence. In the back of her mind, she could still hear the hoarse pleas as he begged while she fulfilled her promise of bleeding the life out of him, but they only reminded her of her own pleading and his laughter in response. Fiona had watched her sometimes quietly, others she’d had to leave unable to witness any longer. In the end revenge had given Kaylan nothing but hollowness.
| |
| − |
| |
| − | She closed her eyes tightly and brought her legs up to her chest and rocked herself. “It’s over….It’s over…”
| |
| − |
| |
| − | She looked down examining the cuts on her wrists and cried. They were almost completely healed now but her once flawless skin would always show the pale scars. Everything about her had changed so abruptly she sometimes didn’t recognize herself.
| |
| − |
| |
| − | Her long red hair was shorter curling at the shoulders. Fiona had refused to cut them saying she would regret it, but at the first opportunity she had hacked them off herself. The disappointment had been evident in Fiona’s calm gaze, but Kaylan no longer cared. She didn’t care how beautiful she appeared or what made her so, she wanted to disappear; she never wanted to be noticed again.
| |
| − |
| |
| − | Her once golden skin was now pale from lack of sun exposure. She barely ate, which made her lose some weight, everything tasted like ashes, but she forced some of it down only because Fiona was watching her every move.
| |
| − |
| |
| − | Where she was usually warm with her sister, she had grown eerily cold and distant. She spent countless hours lost in thought, and only spoke when spoken too. She never mentioned the life waiting for her in Fontan.
| |
| − |
| |
| − | It wasn’t because she didn’t want to. She was trying to desensitize herself to it. For she knew it would never be returned to her the way she left it. By now, Malcolm had probably moved on without her. Alec was most likely onto his new conquest. She quietly wondered how Logan was fairing. What friends she had made had all probably forgotten about her. They would be busy dealing with war everywhere they looked, what would be one more missing person during this time? The one thing she refused to think about was the child she had lost. It had never been given a real chance at life, simply because of who she was. Sometimes… and rarely she allowed the thought to consume her, and that’s when Fiona found her, broken again.
| |
| − |
| |
| − | No, she would not find happiness there, and even if they were waiting for her, they would never welcome back the monster she had become. She had been broken but she would never be complete again. The devastating scars were unseen, therefore impossible to heal. They would forever follow her for the rest of her life.
| |
| − |
| |
| − | She never wanted to leave the cave, but she knew she would need to some day. She was just prolonging her time here hoping the moment would never come.
| |
| − |
| |
| − |
| |
| − |
| |
| − | ----
| |
| − |
| |
| − |
| |
| − | The weather was slowly changing. It snowed less, the sun shone for longer periods of time, it was warming, but Kaylan’s mood grew colder. She knew what this change meant but she tried to ignore the fear in her stomach.
| |
| − |
| |
| − | Fiona entered the cave with a satisfied expression on her face and quickly searched for her. When her green eyes found Kaylan and she could see her moving, she exhaled with relief. The younger sister rolled her eyes at her reaction and again concentrated on the small carving she had been working on.
| |
| − |
| |
| − | “Good hunt today,” she said conversationally and Kaylan replied with a small inattentive, “hmm.”
| |
| − |
| |
| − | “The weather’s clearing up nicely, we should be able to leave soon,” Fiona attempted nonchalantly but Kaylan’s response was silence. She wasn’t about to start on this topic of conversation again.
| |
| − |
| |
| − | When Fiona stopped and put a hand on her hip in wait, Kaylan’s eyebrow rose. “You’re free to go…” she said flatly, and her sister huffed. By her reaction she knew Fiona wasn’t going to let it slide that easily. Before she could so much as start talking some sense into her, as she liked to put it, Kaylan grabbed the bow beside her. It wasn’t the best craftsmanship and she sorely missed her war bow, but it serves its purpose. She took up some arrows and stalked away.
| |
| − |
| |
| − | “I need some air,” she snapped and Fiona called after her with a pleading voice. “Kaylan you can’t hide here fore…” her words trailed off as she left the cave.
| |
| − |
| |
| − | Almost instantly after stepping out, Kaylan felt her body press in with fear, the lack of shelter made her tremble and she tightened her grip over the wood. She forced herself to keep walking, focusing on keeping a foot ahead of the other and tried to ignore the sound of the wind, trying to pretend it didn’t sound like howling laughter.
| |
| − |
| |
| − | “No I can’t stay here forever,” she repeated the words, knowing how her next words would have unfolded, “let’s go home, let’s go see our mother, you need to be around people again.”
| |
| − |
| |
| − | Kaylan knew Fiona was right. She couldn’t stay there forever but a part of her wanted to just waste away in that cave. There were no questions, no calculating looks in her direction, no uncomfortable situations she couldn’t get out of. Here she was left to herself and her thoughts, no matter how dark they were.
| |
| − |
| |
| − | On the other hand, she still had one promise to fulfill and Kaylan always kept her word.
| |
| − |
| |
| − | She needed to think. Walking just a short distance, she made sure she could still see the cave’s mouth from her position and singled out a fair sized tree. With a dagger, she made a small x on it and backed up until she could barely see it. Satisfied, she turned around nocked the arrow and drew the string to her cheek. She sighed with uncertainty and let the arrow fly. It whizzed by quickly, passing closely by the tree and disappeared without so much as nicking the bark. Lowering the bow, she sighed desolately and worked her stiff shoulders. Blaming it on lack of practice was easy enough, but she knew that wasn’t it at all.
| |
| − |
| |
| − | She tried again several times but her aim only got worse and the arrow got further away from the tree. Biting her lip angrily, she threw the bow to the ground in defeat and slumped to the ground. She leaned against the tree behind her and brought her knees up to her chest and rocked herself. “It’s over…. Why Kaylan… It’s over…let it go.”
| |
| − |
| |
| − | Later when Fiona found her, she was crumbled in a small freezing ball, crying uncontrollably. “Oh Kaylan…” she sighed miserably. “We’ll wait as long as you need to,” she whispered soothingly, and brought her back to the comfort of darkness.
| |
| − |
| |
| − |
| |
| − | ----
| |
| − |
| |
| − |
| |
| − | Kaylan stood at the mouth of the cave with folded arms, looking over the forest. In the distance, she could see the weather had cleared up to the point where greenery was showing in abundance. She looked down to the ground in front of her, and slid a foot forward taking one step. Taking a deep breath, she uncrossed her arms and slowly took another. Nearby Kennocha shook his head and neighed lightly, adding a small stomp and Kaylan looked over. “Yes,” she whispered softly, “I’m all right.”
| |
| − |
| |
| − | It had been a long winter and she had spent so little time with her steed and she felt incredibly guilty. Taking a few steps now, she inhaled slowly and breathed in the fresh air. Looking back to the forest, she glanced to Kennocha and smiled. She walked back to touch him and stroked his back slowly, scratching his neck. “You want to stretch your legs too?” she asked him and he bobbed his head back and forth.
| |
| − |
| |
| − | “I’m sorry,” she apologized and took a handful of his mane. “I know I haven’t been the best person to be around lately, but just give me some time, I’ll change,” she promised and leaned her head on his. “Let’s try something today, okay?”
| |
| − |
| |
| − | With all her strength she climbed onto his back and leaned into him as he moved excitedly. This was the closest she had been to him since they arrived, Fiona had taken it upon herself to brush and take care of him.
| |
| − |
| |
| − | “Remember when we used to just ride back home? Da used to get so angry because we were gone so long, but I didn’t care, because with you I felt I could take on anything.” He nickered happily and she tapped his side lovingly. “Take me back there Kennocha…” she pleaded softly, “I need to be able to feel free and powerful again.”
| |
| − |
| |
| − | In response, Kennocha stomped the ground with his front hooves and moved powerfully as if trying to release all his pent up energy in one bound. He walked proudly away, using the small trail leading away from the cave. When they reached the forest he picked up speed and began to gallop. Kaylan smiled with a bit of mixed up fear, and there was something she hadn’t felt in a long time, exhilaration. When the forest cleared up, he began to run and she laughed at how good it felt.
| |
| − |
| |
| − | When they returned sometime later, Fiona was looking around, her facial expression, panicked. When Kaylan walked into the cave, she stopped, relief washing over her. Her green emerald eyes shone and she smiled uncertainly at her little sister. Kaylan knew what the next words out of her mouth were going to be, the same they had been for days now. They had both been here countless times and Kaylan had only dug in her heels deeper, resisting. The slow but steady change in Kaylan was giving Fiona hope. The older sister wished to return home, but the youngest was incredibly afraid of what was waiting upon her return. Kaylan knew now, that fear would never go away or heal, but she had already faced the most important demon in her life, she would have to take the others on, one at a time.
| |
| − |
| |
| − | “You look so good today sister,” Fiona greeted with a smile and Kaylan’s lip quirked with a familiar lopsided grin. At the sight Fiona’s smile only grew bigger and the younger woman could tell her hope was flaring brighter than any other day.
| |
| − |
| |
| − | Kaylan didn’t wait for the question to slip through her lips. She looked around the cave that had become her home and then her blue eyed gaze returned to her sister’s. “Yes Katlyn…” she nodded lightly. “It’s time,” she whispered, “let’s go home.”
| |
