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| − | '''Roleplay from Silmeriel Orgauth'''
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| − | Silmeriel barely had time to do anything these days, her wounds worsened for a brief moment and she had been absent from the latest march, always careful however she followed all news closely, sighing of worry at times and smiling faintly at others, frowning and relaxing once more with the varied letters that reached her.
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| − | But she was well now, and she felt uneasy, she didn't know what to do, the world was moving so fast...and it seemed there was nothing she could do other than be carried by the currents of time, she was eager and fearful, divided between heaven and hell as her mind examined everything from every possible way, so much folly and yet so much hope...which one would triumph?
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| − | She did not know, the fey pools were tied to emotions only...and even then she feared looking at them now, she feared what she could see, for the first time she preferred not to know anything at all...there's only one thing she knew however...she had to see Dei again, to ask for forgiveness for what happened that night, she didn't want to leave her, she had to go to this new Nighthelm somehow, Thain would not like it but she had to, even if only to watch Dei in the distance and protect her from the shadows.
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| − | It didn't take much time traveling alone, she left her back and rode to Dei's camp alone, soon the guards announced her arrival, she wasn't wearing her usual delicate dresses, she was wearing her green leather armor, the same from the battle against the Dark Court now cleansed of all blood, a long brown cloak rested on her shoulders moving from one side to another as she walked, she looked different.
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| − | Tired, resigned, her movements were firm and heavy but also strong, she didn't watch the surrounding objects with curiosity as usual but instead focused on a single invisible point in front of her barely blinking, her hair wasn't flowing with her movement in fact it seemed frozen, her stance was that of a battered but proud warrior not one of a graceful princess.
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| − | '''Roleplay from Deianarah McDowell'''
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| − | Deianarah sat at her desk, in her hands she held a letter from Thain and a smile spread across her face. Receiving word from him made her day, no matter how small it was, just knowing he thought of her was enough. She missed him terribly, but soon she would see him again.
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| − | A guard coughed to announce his presence and she looked over. “Lady Silmeriel Orgauth to see you my Lady,” he said. Almost immediately her delicate brows furrowed and Deianarah’s hand lowered to the desk. She looked around the tent from her armor in the corner, to the sword beside it. Should she have cause for fear? The last time she had been with the other woman much had taken place which had left her with a terrible sense of unease. Holes had filled her memories, until eventually she began to remember again. She knew what had occurred had not been Silmeriel’s fault but that of her mother. If what Thain said was true though then the world Dei had seen was closer to one of lies… yet the vision she’d had in the pool of them kissing had come to happen. She had to believe in the goodness of that at least.
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| − | It took a moment before Dei rose from her chair and motioned to the guard. “Please let her in,” she said softly and quickly picked up Thain’s letter to tuck it away safely with the rest. Deianarah had done nothing but travel the last few days, therefore she wore her soft brown doe skin leggings and tunic with a small black belt at her waist. Her long dark blond hair was pulled to each side in hundreds of tiny braids which had then been plated into two thicker braids and tied together at the back of her neck. Reaching up, she tucked her long bangs behind her right ear and waited. Nervous couldn’t really describe how she felt, it was more uncertainty.
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| − | Also the last time Silmeriel had been with her she had admitted her love, and under the effects of the Loveberry wine, Deianarah had later kissed her. Guilt was also wormed in with uncertainty. Would Silmeriel read more into the kiss than she should? Was she returning to claim her soulmate as she had said they were? Dei did not know what to expect, therefore she waited for the other woman to enter.
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| − | When she did, Deianarah noticed her attire, and then the subtle differences in her facial expression. This was not a woman who floated on the winds of happiness as usual, she appeared somewhat defeated. What grace she once had, seemed to have dissipated, instead she appeared firmly planted in the plains of Arcaea unlike before.
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| − | “Lady Silmeriel,” Dei greeted, a weak smile reached her lips and she took a step back to put some distance between them, the message clear. “What can I do for you?” she asked getting right to the point.
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| − | '''Roleplay from Silmeriel Orgauth'''
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| − | Silmeriel hesitated, still looking to the "invisible point" as if fearing having to look at Dei's eyes, her thoughts raced to answer struggling and she remained expressionless, until she finally replied slowly, apparently still having difficult to decide what to say.
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| − | "First...I would like to ask that you forgive me for all that happened that night...no there is no need to forgive me, I just wanted to tell you that I never meant for anything like that to happen and I..." she now seemed confused and was holding up tears in her emerald eyes, making them gleam.
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| − | "I didn’t want things to happen the way they did, you left so confused and...I just wanted to show you my home and let you relax without worries...but it seems I only made things worse than before...I am...I am sorry I shouldn't even be bothering you with this...you must think I mad and I don't want to ruin everything again, I thought I knew what I would say, I thought it would be simple but...I..."
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| − | She then turned around to leave fearing she would lose control and burst into tears, something that was almost beginning to happen, with one or two tears already running down her cheeks, but though she tried moving to leave her steps were slow and hesitant, until she stopped frozen near the entrance, looking down, completely lost.
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| − | '''Roleplay from Deianarah McDowell'''
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| − | As Silmeriel spoke, Deianarah averted her gaze and moved away slowly. The subject making her clearly uncomfortable. The other woman seemed to be really sorry for what had taken place, and again, Deianarah could not fault her. She’d had good intentions no matter that they had turned into a complete disaster.
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| − | Nodding at her apology she could see Silmeriel had difficulty looking at her now. She watched as she turned away as if running away from her but Deianarah didn’t say anything, she didn’t really know what to say in fact.
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| − | Silmeriel’s frame froze in her steps and she just stood there, her back turned. Dei’s eyes saddened, for she knew the other woman was crying, and she reached out to touch her back. “Please don’t cry…” she told her softly. “I know things didn’t happen as you expected them to… but I can say with definite certainty that it wasn’t all bad.”
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| − | '''Roleplay from Silmeriel Orgauth'''
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| − | Silmeriel trembled slightly as Dei touched her back and she seemed to awake from short trance, she then heard the other woman's words and realized she was crying, she immediately wiped the tears off with her hands and struggled to look back at Dei calmly but she still seemed nervous and when she answered her voice came out rough and hesitant.
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| − | "I am sorry again...I didn't mean to worry you more but everything's going wrong lately...it seems nothing I do anywhere works, and I just don't know what do... but I didn't come here only to tell you this too, I've...I've come to...well I know you are going to join the colony and...let us say I've had some problems with Thain, or rather he had some problems with me, but now...I don't know, I don't know if I'll ever manage to forget what he said...but still I want to go too, I want to join the colony so..."
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| − | She then desperately searched her armor for something until she found it and offered it to Deianarah, it was a scroll, it looked different, as if more resistant and harder than common paper, in the beautiful and exotic calligraphy of Silmeriel was an oath, an oath of fealty to Deianarah.
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| − | She waited for Dei to read with strange and disconcerting mix of frustration, doubt, fear, sadness...a complete chaos of emotions and thoughts radically leaving her incapable of moving, and her hands trembling, the tears were being held once more and she looked like a extremely beautiful but sad painting.
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| − | '''Roleplay from Deianarah McDowell'''
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| − | Deianarah carefully took the scroll. “What he said?” she echoed, unsure what kind of disagreement Silmeriel and Thain may have. “We all blunder Silmeriel… it is what we do with the lessons we learn that matter.”
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| − | Without waiting she started reading in silence. Her light brown eyes moved quickly over the words and she looked up with a small frown. “This is an oath of fealty…to me?” she asked confused and passed her lower lip through her teeth. This was intended for the colony… Quickly her mind raced to Thain and what this would imply.
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| − | “Silmeriel… My oath is to Thain, the next King of Nighthelm. I am but his knight…” she added the last softly. At this point in time, it was probably best that she didn’t elaborate on her involvement with him. Dei was almost positive Silmeriel could not know of their involvement.
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| − | “Silmeriel… Who am I that would swear fealty to me?” she wondered out loud. “I cannot possibly provide you with anything, this oath goes…nowhere…” she stated and watched the other woman, knowing her words would most likely crush what was left of her crumbling confidence but she spoke the truth. She lowered the scroll and waited for an explanation. “I don’t understand your intention.”
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| − | '''Roleplay from Silmeriel Orgauth'''
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| − | Silmeriel contrary to what Deianarah expected didn't react at all, at least not immediately, the only difference that could be noticed is that tears started slowly running down on her face once more, and after a few seconds that seemed like ages she replied, her voice now unexpectedly cold and firm, like as if something in her had just died or went dormant.
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| − | "I have reasons to believe you'll be more than just a knight, and there's no explanation. I want to serve you, just that, because I think you're more worth than anyone else. And while I may have little or nothing gain I also don't have anything here, nothing worked. I don't know if anyone still trusts me, it's almost four years that I have been serving this realm now...and to what purpose?"
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| − | "I have nothing here, I have nothing to gain and nothing to lose, my life here meant absolutely nothing so I may as well offer my blade to someone who deserves to command it and try to make myself useful."
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| − | '''Roleplay from Deianarah McDowell'''
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| − | Deianarah didn’t know what to say to Silmeriel. She held on to the scroll in her hands and then to the other woman. “If it is your wish, I accept your oath of fealty. But know this Silmeriel, you will respect and honor Thain as you do me. That is my wish for the time being… Do you accept?”
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| − | '''Roleplay from Silmeriel Orgauth'''
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| − | "Yes that is my wish, and I shall respect him...as liege" Silmeriel then looked into Deianarah’s eyes firmly for a moment, and what could be seen was both sorrow and determination, her eyes still gleamed with a few remaining tears, but now most had dried up and her eyes looked different as if it was another person, she lowered her head once more and spoke again.
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| − | "So do you accept my oath Lady Deianarah ?"
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| − | '''Roleplay from Deianarah McDowell'''
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| − | Deianarah noticed her determination and then nodded her head. “Then I shall see you in our new realm,” she said clearly about to dismiss her but she stopped. Her eyes searched the other woman’s face and she sighed sadly. It was obvious something was off about her, besides what she had just told her, it seemed deeper and Deianarah wasn’t one to turn her back on something like this. She was a too compassionate for that.
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| − | “What happened?” Dei asked her softly. “I don’t mean the obvious Silmeriel, what’s wrong, you’re different somehow?”
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| − | '''Roleplay from Silmeriel Orgauth'''
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| − | Silmeriel hesitated for a moment before speaking again
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| − | "Reality happened, I am not in the fey home this is a different world, I cannot trust people and expect something good to come out of it, I must be ready for the worst, always, I must be ready for betrayal, for lies and treachery of all kind, I must be ready to sever any ties as soon as they prove to be negative, lest I be chained by them and let them drag me down." Her tone was firm, direct and cold, and though she seemed to be in intense pain, not even signs of tears could be seen anymore
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| − | "Reality happened Lady Deianarah, there's no more room for daydreaming, no more room for false hopes, no more room for delusions, people are almost always small and simple-minded...ignorant, the worst in them ends up victorious against their good side, it's stronger they just can't resist"
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| − | She then looked once more into Dei's eyes
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| − | "I won't shed any more tears, not for those who abandoned me, they don't deserve them, the only thing I will do is keep an oath to the only one who hasn't done this to me yet...it's sad when you see even a childhood friend doesn't believes in you, they prefer the ignorant and their lies"
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| − | '''Roleplay from Deianarah McDowell'''
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| − | Deianarah’s sand colored eyes tightened at Silmeriel’s words. “Surely you are being harsh Silmeriel, and might I add childish,” she said bluntly. Silmeriel had previously mentioned Thain, but no one else yet, that simple fact made the blonde woman act protectively in regards to him. “I know you are in pain, its plain to see you are trying to hold down your emotions, but you’re also angry.”
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| − | Dei may have been young, but she had been forced to mature quickly due to her upbringing and on occasion showed wisdom beyond her years. Silmeriel’s tears bothered her, but her words hurt more. Bitterness was an emotion she understood too well, that, and the resentment to forgive those who had different views and opinions, which as a result would appear as ignorance. Although by her word ‘yet’, Silmeriel also expected Deianarah to behave this way in the future.
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| − | “I’m not sure exactly what has taken place in your life, whether past or present. I don’t know the type of betrayal or abandonment you speak of but in this case, aren’t you falling into the same trap you accuse these people of being victims of? Your opinion is the only one that matters? You are the only one who is right? Yes it’s normal to feel hurt but the fact that you turn your back on them at the first sign of negativity is not healthy and will only result in pushing those around you further.” Dei’s tone had grown serious, and what compassion had been there slowly waned.
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| − | She set the scroll on her table and the cocked her head. “Like it or not Silmeriel we are <i> human </i> it is one of our many failings yet in the same sentiment it is one of our strengths. I am not saying anyone is right here, what I mean to say is that you will have to accept that others share different views other than your own. Nothing is so far gone that it cannot be redeemed.”
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| − | '''Roleplay from Silmeriel Orgauth'''
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| − | Silmeriel didn’t react at all to Deianarah’s words and just continued in the same monotonous harsh tone as before
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| − | "Different views? Alas if it was only that...but it's outright lack of trust, doubt, fear, and I am not speaking about signs of negativity as you said, maybe they can indeed see what they've done one day but so what? Will I just wait with open arms in the meanwhile? No I'll keep going as I always did, I am ready to receive them again but I won't lie and say all that happened meant nothing"
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| − | "I am not only speaking of people I recently met like you, Selene, Thain, I am also speaking of people which I spent my whole life together, of people I've told everything without fears or doubts and that now at my darkest moment since my father disappeared left me alone"
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| − | She then hesitated for a moment before saying
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| − | "Madelena for example, where is she? After returning to this plane I looked for her and she wasn't home...that's okay she could have been busy at the time, but her servants saw my wounds and treated me, I've sent a letter to her telling I needed to speak with her but she never replied...and then she betrayed her promise and chose someone else to rule Orbeh in my place...and she said nothing, nothing, she didn't even bother explaining anything to me, I seeked her once more but to no avail"
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| − | "But she made her choice, if she doesn't want her good name associated with the "witch" whose home was sealed by the King's order then so be it...I can forgive her, but will she ever understand what she did to me?"
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| − | "I am not saying people have to be perfect or pure...but just...that most of them never understand what they do...what they do to others..."
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| − | '''Roleplay from Deianarah McDowell'''
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| − | Deianarah examined Silemeriel’s demeanor, it was obvious she was closing herself off.
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| − | “If that is how you feel Silmeriel then who am I to show you otherwise? You have obviously made your choice on the matter, I hope it will be one you can live with,” she finished off.
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| − | “I can not speak for others, I can not explain what took place and why so many seemed to have turned on you as you say…” she looked away sadly. “What I can tell you is that changes will occur. Life happens, people change with their surroundings, as you have shown today, but what I do know is that everything happens for a reason…” she then looked up her eyes shining. “This apparent hardening of your soul is obviously your solution, but do not let people change who you are. This person of coldness, of harsh sentiment, is not you… and you know it.”
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| − | She put her hands together before her. “Alec told me something once, and it will forever stay with me,” it was unavoidable, every time she mentioned her brother, Deianarah was taken with sorrow. She bit down on the invading emotion and sighed. “You’re hurt, I get it. You’re disappointed, we’ve all been there, but leave it be. Don’t give them anymore of yourself than you already have. You’ve given them enough already, so stop giving them your anger.”
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| − | She cocked her head as if examining the other woman, “think on the message for a while, I don’t want to hear your answer right away. But when you’ve thought on it long enough, I will come see you and we will speak again. In the meanwhile, I will be waiting for you in the new colony.” This time Deianarah was obviously dismissing the other woman and walked over to her sword. “I apologize I still have much to take care of and there is very little time in which to do it.”
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| − | '''Roleplay from Silmeriel Orgauth'''
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| − | Silmeriel hesitated, looking shocked for a moment and the replying on a very low and faint tone before departing.
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| − | "I shall...think on what you've said...time will tell..."
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