Difference between revisions of "McDowell Family/Alec McDowell/leavingagain"

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(New page: '''Roleplay from Kaylan McDowell''' Kaylan sighed as she threw the last of the preposterous letters that had been circling of late to the floor, joining the rest. Like most, she read the ...)
 
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'''Roleplay from Kaylan McDowell'''
 
  
Kaylan sighed as she threw the last of the preposterous letters that had been circling of late to the floor, joining the rest. Like most, she read the first line and didn’t bother finishing. 
 
 
Today was not a good day for her, lately, none of them were good but the internal bickering was driving her mad.
 
 
Again she had woken from what had begun as a dream, filled with Malcolm…, his kisses, his touch, his voice, his smell…. She leaned in and buried her face in her hands, trying to chase it all away.  Then as if they weren’t bad enough, out of nowhere a small child wearing his face had appeared making her wake up hyperventilating. She shuddered as the image of the small boy returned and closed her eyes.
 
 
Just then someone walked in, completely unannounced and she quickly turned to face them. “Alec?” she frowned.
 
 
 
----
 
 
'''Roleplay from Alec McDowell'''
 
 
The unshed tears in her eyes were obvious and his heart squeezed so tight at the sight, he just wanted to hold her and soothe her – but this was Kaylan.
 
 
“Are you alright?” he asked instead, keeping his distance and she nodded once, swallowing. “Perfect” she said in a low voice.
 
 
Rolling his eyes, he ground his teeth. “Look Kaylan, this is getting tired. I’ve been running across Fontan just trying to catch up with you, now that I’m here the least you could do is be honest with me. Do you think I’m blind? That I don’t even know you?”
 
 
She didn’t answer and he approached her. “Look I knew if I kept up with my men I would never manage, so I came alone. I’m here because I’m tired of your happy letters, even on a good day they wouldn’t come from you, so just stop,” he said firmly and she looked away, knowing she couldn’t lie about this face to face.
 
 
“I’d rather get a blank letter, than one that’s riddled with lies, which only makes me worry about you more.”  He took a chance and kneeled in front of her. Her eyes became frightened and she tried to move back, but she was already sitting as far back on the cot as she could. He took her hands even against her protest and her shoulders stiffened. “I see it now…Talk to me little cousin…” he coaxed with a soothing voice, “you need to talk to someone.”
 
 
----
 
 
'''Roleplay from Kaylan McDowell'''
 
 
“No I don’t,” she bit out the words and tried to contain her erratic breathing and pulled her hands back. Managing to move around him, she got off the cot and paced behind him. He sighed and stood in front of her this time. “Look, I figured coddling you would be a good approach but obviously it’s not. What happened to you?” he asked bluntly and she stopped pacing.
 
 
“Nothing happened to me,” she answered quickly and her thumb made it into her mouth and she began to chew her nail. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She wouldn’t talk about it, she refused to, especially to him.
 
 
----
 
 
'''Roleplay from Alec McDowell'''
 
 
He laughed humorlessly and sighed again. She still thought he was blind and obviously didn’t have a memory of his own to fall back on. “Kaylan there’s so much to say I don’t even know where to start.”
 
 
It was his turn to start pacing, and he kept his gaze off her but kept looking from the corner of his eyes. “You seem to forget I know and remember more than you choose to hold on to.  I’m your COUSIN, I was there! I know your life story. I know who Dalvax was, and what he did… I’ve seen war, I’ve seen some pretty atrocious things in the name of war, but this man was mad, therefore take what seasoned men do in battle and up it up by oh… let’s say a hundred. You weren’t delivered to Gronak and I thank the Gods everyday that you came back to us, but I know you didn’t escape unscathed. I know I saw the blood…there was so much of it,” he whispered now.
 
 
He paused unable to say what he knew happened out loud and took the time to regain his composure. He was still livid and angry that it had happened to her under his watch.
 
 
“When Malcolm and I came across the port town…” he sighed remembering. “People talk and some actually listen.” He then turned to her and she seemed to have frozen where she stood, the color draining from her cheeks.
 
 
He faced her and reached for her hands, they were cold now. “Kayly… I know it hurts. What they did to you… If I could kill them again I would!” He said fiercely. “I know Fiona took care of the immediate threat. I have more respect for her than she will ever know, she truly is a member of our family now and I would do whatever I could for her, just as I would for you. It’s like that…” he said heatedly.
 
 
“Look I know. Malcolm is gone… and what you had of him is…” he looked down to her flat abdomen, back up to her eyes and suddenly what light she had there all but died, leaving behind a flat grayness. 
 
 
“I know… Malcolm told me you were with child. We all knew…” Her lips began to tremble and he hated himself for even mentioning it, but he had to get her out of whatever it was she was in, she needed to let it out and start healing.
 
 
“You don’t know anything,” she said emotionlessly trying to hold back her obvious pain, and he grunted with frustration. “See right there,” he backed up and passed his hands through his hair. “You still insist that you can take everything on by yourself, when are you going to stop to realize that you can’t Kaylan. You have to let us in or you’re going to spend the rest of your days alone. Do you remember a long time ago… we were sitting in this very tent and you cried… and I never thought I would see the day where you actually opened up to me, you told me that if something were to happen to Malcolm or if he went somewhere you couldn’t follow that you would die…” she nodded once and closed her eyes.
 
 
“Well did you stop to think what would happen to Malcolm if it was the other way around? You didn’t see him before he left…” he sighed. “Well I did…” he whispered, “and that man was already dead before he made it back home.”
 
 
At those words Kaylan began to cry and held herself.
 
 
----
 
 
'''Roleplay from Kaylan McDowell'''
 
 
She had not forgotten that day, she thought of it every second of every day, but the other part of her kept fighting it, she didn’t want to think of it anymore, to imagine what Malcolm was doing now, it was too hard.
 
 
“Why haven’t you gone to him?” Alec’s voice was firm now and almost angry. “Why didn’t you tell him you were alive, what are you afraid of!?” he pressed and she shrunk back with every question and started to cry louder.
 
 
She gripped her head and covered her ears, shaking her head. “Stop talking about it! Stop talking about him!” she cried out and her knees gave out from under her.
 
 
She would never be able to face Malcolm now, to look him in the eyes, knowing that she had killed their child. She had walked directly to the wolves even after everything he had done to try and protect her. If she had only listened to him, none of it would have happened, she was ashamed of herself, and she in a very disturbing sense serving her penance for her stupidity; it was what she deserved. How could she face him after that?
 
 
”No! I won’t Kaylan because I know you. You’re avoiding it because you think it’s better this way, but it’s not! Why do you keep denying yourself? You’re finally free… for crying out loud you’ve earned your freedom!” He said emotionally and his arms lifted to show the world around her.
 
 
“Fiona, Malcolm, and I made sure of it. Even Malcolm…he didn’t just lose a child but he lost you too and still even after he believed you were gone he still made sure you would never have anything to fear again. So honor it and take it! It doesn’t matter what happened then. I know it hurts, but what matters is what you can do now.”
 
 
His green eyes burned with green fire and she wiped her tears, now her entire body shaking with the emotion he was forcing out of her that she tried to keep hidden. “They hurt me… they hurt me so much Alec…” she managed to say and his face was so sad and his arms came around her to hold her and she let him. For the first time in a long time, allowing the alien comfort. “I just wanted to die and I still want to die…I’m so scared” her voice quaked with devastating emotion.  “And… he… left,” she sobbed, “he left,” she said with utter defeat that his eyes filled with tears.
 
 
“And you let him…He left because he couldn’t live in this world without you in it, haven’t you figured that out yet? For the love of the Gods Kaylan, he loves you and I swear to you if you went after him now, he would love you still…” His words seemed to dig into her like a sharp knife and she cried uncontrollably now. “And I love him still…” her voice quaked.
 
 
----
 
 
'''Roleplay from Alec McDowell'''
 
 
“So why are you still here? Go…” he said gently and brushed her hair with his hand.
 
 
“Kay… I promised your mother and father that I would take care of you, no matter what it took I swore it on my guardian day,” he finally admitted the real reason why he came to Fontan.  A guardian day for any McDowell was the day when they were awarded with a guardian weapon to protect them on their journey into the world – the day he had received his sword.
 
 
“I’m usually selfish, and I can be overprotective too, which is why normally I would keep you here and with good reason but right now I know I can’t keep you here. You’re dying and I see it, so I know I have to let you go. Go after what your heart wants…”
 
 
This time Kaylan shook her head, “I can’t…”
 
 
“Malcolm knows you’re alive,” he admitted now but wasn’t entirely sure how she would have taken the news had he told her in a letter and she looked up with shock. “Sorsha is in correspondence with a member of his family. End this madness once and for all Kaylan… you belong together even I can see that… and that’s saying a lot,” at his words she looked up and he tried to grin.
 
 
“Please, I’m not that oblivious when it comes to love…” and this time she actually smiled and his heart felt incredibly light at the sight. “Okay so I haven’t actually known love…” he looked up, “I think…” and looked at her again. “but you know hey maybe even the infamous, Alec, breaker of hearts will get to know what it is.”
 
 
This time she laughed lightly and he hugged her again. “You will Alec, just show them the person I know you are and you will,” she said softly and his arms tightened around her protectively.
 
 
“Soon enough, but right now I want you to be happy again. After all this time you deserve it,” he kissed the top of her head and she cried and a tear slipped on his cheek. “All I want is for you to be happy…” he whispered soothingly and rocked her and for the first time she allowed him to comfort her.
 
 
----
 
 
'''Roleplay from Isabel Moreira'''
 
 
Isabel’s camp had been set and she decided to go for a ride alone. She took her stallion and rode off. She needed to relax by herself. She liked doing that from time to time, spend time alone. No, she actually NEEDED it.
 
 
She rode through the woods at a slow pace just enjoying her time and before she realized it her mind wandered back to “her” mysterious knight. <i>Hmm… his hazel eyes, his alluring smile, his very kissable lips… Alright, stop it!</i> She scolded herself. <i>What’s happening to you woman?! He’s just a man! One you haven’t even met!”</i> she kept her inner monologue.
 
 
<i>Yes, but I will someday. Meet him, talk to him, get to know him, hug him, kiss…<./i>
 
“Ugh” she groaned when she realized she was doing it again. “Okay, Isabel! You’re losing it!” she laughed at her insanity and kept riding along the path through the woods.
 
 
Up ahead she saw an opening and a camp was set. She approached slowly not sure who she would encounter and stopped at a safe distance observing the army settled there.
 
 
She notice familiar uniforms and breathed more easily. <i>Good, no enemies.</i> She decided to visit the army’s commander. It would be nice to know in person one more of her brothers-in-arms. She signaled her horse to move forward by clicking her tongue. She was really close to camp but still hidden by the trees and bushes. Suddenly she pulled the reins and stopped. Her eyes found a familiar face walking out of a tent. Her knight! The reason for her “insanity”! This was it! The time had come for them to finally meet.
 
 
Her smile grew big and instantly it slipped. Following him outside was a woman. She immediately recognized her. The red-headed warrior from the previous battle. The one her knight was trying to get attention from.
 
 
Isabel’s right eyebrow drew up quizzically.<i> “What is he doing here? With her?”</i>
 
Seeing her that close she could see her features. She was really beautiful. The kind of beauty you didn’t see every day.
 
 
<i>Woman it’s probably nothing. Maybe they’re just friends.</i> She watched them talking and then her heart felt like being stabbed. He had taken the other woman in his arms and kissed her forehead. <i>Where they together? Where they just good friends? Hmmm…that was a very intimate hug for friends…. </i>she swallowed hard.
 
 
At that sight she decided to leave. She couldn’t keep watching it….it hurt. She rode back to her camp with a mix of hurt, sadness, anger and frustration. <i>Why did this hurt so much?” Oh what did you expect Isabel?! A good looking knight like him had to be taken. You always get your hopes up for unattainable men! </i>
 
 
“I should have known…” she said somewhat defeated.
 
 
She reached her camp fast, got off her horse while he was still in movement and walked right into her tent without saying a word to anyone. Her mind was too busy trying to make sense of it all.
 
 
“Great! Just great….”
 
 
Isabel was pacing around in her tent with the images from the previous day still in her mind. She didn't want to think about it more and give it perhaps more importance than she should but the fact was, it was really bothering her. She tried focusing on her work and reports after the initial hurt had subsided but to no avail. She was confused. She knew she had feelings for "her" knight but not so deep it would hurt this much. <i>Why would I feel like this? I don't even know him. For all I know he could be a prick! A handsome one nonetheless...</i> "Ugh!"
 
 
She took another look at the stack of letters and reports waiting for her attention. She needed to focus on something else...the thought of her friend Sir Alec came to her and she remembered he hadn't written to her in a while. <i>Was he alright? Yes, that's the distraction I need. I'll write to him.
 
 
My friend Sir Alec,
 
 
May this letter find you well and happy. I haven't heard from you in quite a while and was wondering how you were doing. Any good news on your side?
 
 
I am currently awaiting new orders and I am doing well. Well, physically anyway. No arrow, or spear or dagger has found it's way into me. Guess your prayers are working. However, I have lost all my men in the last battle. Only my Captain and I survived. It's been a long time spent in the battlefield and I still can't get used to this feeling. I am running out of words to write to those soldiers' families. Anyway...I'm sure you have gone through the same.
 
 
My heart is somewhat broken by a certain knight. I have a talent for finding unattainable men. I don't know why I am telling you this...I'm sure you don't need to hear about it.
 
I truly hope you have good news. I certainly could use some.
 
 
Take good care of yourself my friend. May the Gods protect you.
 
 
In friendship,
 
Lady Isabel </i>
 
 
She reviewed the finished letter with a smile. She always found comfort in her friend's words. Hopefully it would work this time too.
 
 
----
 
 
 
'''Roleplay from Alec McDowell'''
 
 
Alec had left Kaylan feeling good for the first time in months. Finally, he had gotten some answers from her and now knew she would start moving on with her life again.
 
 
It took him some time before he caught up to his men again, when he made it back to his camp he headed straight for his tent. Almost instantly upon entering, his Captain was right there behind him. “Milord,” he said and coughed as Alec turned around a bit surprised.
 
 
“You’re everywhere,” he noted and his Captain smirked. “Its here,” he said simply and Alec immediately knew what he meant. “Wonderful,” he clapped his hands together and walked out of the tent, Alfried following him. “Over here,” he informed him and walked further back away from camp.
 
 
When they broke through the camp, Alec stopped in his tracks and before him was a dark chestnut colored steed. He took a step forward and the animal moved back, keeping an eye on him. He was used to working with horses, having trained them with his father. He touched its neck to calm him and examined him thoroughly. “You are magnificent,” he whispered to it and the animal neighed. “You are worthy of your new owner.”
 
 
“Have it prepared, I want him delivered as soon as possible.”
 
 
He returned to his tent, busying himself with writing letter. When he was done, he returned to his men waiting with the horse. “You will hand the lady this letter as well.”
 
 
Alec’s men were able to find the elusive Lady Fiona Onyxien, when they did, they presented her with the beautiful animal and a letter from their commander.
 
 
 
<i>“Dear Cousin,
 
 
I know we have had some very peculiar differences in the past, but lets no allow that to fester in our minds. I have since then been shown your valor and honorability and I am proud to call you cousin. You are truly a member of the McDowell family now and no member of our family should be without one of my father’s reputable warhorses. It is a kingly gift, one for simply being who you are and the other for saving Kaylan when she needed someone.
 
 
The animal is very well trained, I am sure Kaylan will instruct you on the many different secret family training we bestow upon them. I have heard of your recent restlessness and I give you an opportunity I am sure I don’t even need to mention and that you would have done yourself all along. Kaylan is leaving Fontan, I have heard that you were also leaving to be with your family again, please protect her on your travels, she needs you and so do I.
 
 
With utmost respect,
 
 
Alec McDowell.</i>
 
 
 
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'''Roleplay from Fiona Onyxien'''
 
 
Fiona was readying the last of her personal belongings from the estate Lord Malfurion had allocated her. Since Aewyn had left Braga and returned to Commonyr the estate had been busy and seen more movement now then it did in the last year since she had been there.
 
 
"Milady" a servant boy ran to her trying to catch it's breath
 
"A delivery has arrived for you and is waiting outside at the entrance" he huffed and puffed in between words.
 
 
Fiona a bit surprised at the boy's reaction dropped the silky material she had in her hand and made her way to the entrance of the estate. Opening the door she noticed two men struggling on ropes to keep the horse in position. Kicking and pacing from front to back the horse gave the men a bit of a work out.
 
 
"What's this?" she called out looking at each men waiting for an answer
 
 
"For you Milady" the tall thin man handed her a letter trying to hold on to the fighting horse.
 
 
Fiona read carefully through the lines and slowly her lips curled into a smile. Walking to the horse she reached up gently to pat his neck and give him some reassurance and the horse's head bucked back making the men hold on to the rope tighter. Reaching for both ropes from the men she dropped the ropes and got closer in.
 
 
"There.. there boy it's ok" she walked over to the fruit bushel that had just been delivered to the estate and grabbed a juicy red apple.
 
 
"A gift uh" she smiled "Alec is a very generous man wouldn't you say" she brought the apple to it's mouth. "Guess you and I will be traveling together" she reached into the bushel for another apple
 
 
"See that he is put in the eastern yard to give him room to run off his frustrations" she ordered the men
 
 
"And send my scribe to my room" she turned around and returned to her bedroom
 
 
While she continued to pack her clothes a young boy came knocking at the door.
 
 
"Milady" he bowed respectfully
 
 
"Ah good, Mathias you are going to write a letter to Sir Alec Mc Dowell" she sat at the corner of the bed
 
 
<i>Alec,
 
 
Thank you for your kind gift he is a magnificent stallion, I believe we will be seeing a lot of traveling time together. I must say that I am a bit surprised by your gift, what I did for Kaylan I did because she is my blood and if I had to do it again I would do so without hesitation. Over the last few months I have come to know Kaylan on a personal level and have grown very fond of her.
 
 
I hope that our relocation will help Kaylan bury the past and look at the future with her head held up high and proud of who she is, and what she has come to live through. She may still need some time but rest assured that I will be watching over her, she will have plenty of room to find herself back home in Woodglen. Some much needed rest after all the battles she buried herself into.
 
 
Please feel free to come and visit us when the opportunity rises my home is always your home. My new friend here will have plenty of fields to run and be free in I thank you once again. The only thing left is having to ask Kaylan exactly what it is you train your horses in I want to make good use of all his intelligent training.
 
 
Find yourself well cousin, keep yourself safe and rid Fontan of the vile that tries to take it from their rightful owners.
 
 
One more thing Alec, it is highly time that you find yourself a companion to share your days with, there a many suitable ladies who would take care of you. And one last thing when you see Sir Zadek please inform him in my stead that I'm sorry I couldn't see him before I left but that he will always be in my thoughts should he travel to Atamara some day to visit us in Woodglen.
 
 
Be safe and may the gods watch over you and keep you safe always.
 
 
Fiona </i>
 
 
With the letter being sealed Fiona tossed a shiny silver at the boy "Make sure to deliver that as soon as possible" she smiled and returned to packing her belongings for the move.
 
 
----
 
 
'''Roleplay from Alec McDowell'''
 
 
Alec read the latest letter from Dame Isabel and chuckled at her comment. “Yes… my prayers are being answered…” he mused, knowing full well his men were still keeping an eye on her. He read the last lines and frowned. The lady was upset over a knight and apparently heartbroken. What was wrong with this knight? It was true he had not met the Dame in question, but from what he gathered of her letters she was sweet, she seemed honest and had a sense of humor to match his own. Why on earth would a man hurt her? That wouldn’t do.
 
 
Just as he was about to write a reply letter, a scribe arrived with another one, this one from Fiona.  He read it and a smile formed on his lips. He still worried over Kaylan, especially now that she was leaving but he couldn’t have put her in better hands. Words of wisdom concluded Fiona’s letter and he sighed. He wasn’t the type of man who settled, and <i>she was right,</i> there were many who would take care of him. He smirked at the thought and then frowned remembering Dame Isabel’s heartache. “Wait a minute…” he pondered this.
 
 
Is that what he was? He loved them, he didn’t really lack in that department but it was usually for one night, well it was known on occasion to be two or three until he became bored. Is that what he left behind? A sweet woman with a terrible heartache? He got extremely quiet and replayed some of his latest adventures. A pleased and idiotic smile appeared on his face.  “Nah….” he brushed it off.  The women he chose didn’t seem to mind when he left, and they were even happier when he came around again.
 
 
Still the lady was hurt, he had to comfort her.
 
 
<i>Milady Isabel,
 
 
I am glad to hear you are well and safe, yes the gods are listening. It has been a long time since we have written to one another and I apologize. I do still think of you, I have just been extremely preoccupied.
 
 
Losing your men is never easy and there are usually never enough words for the emotions you feel. What I find sometimes makes it bearable is to keep in mind their families do know they fought bravely and are proud of them. We grieve their loss, but we should find comfort in honoring what they have accomplished. 
 
 
On another sad note, I am sorry to hear of your trouble with this knight. How has he hurt you? The qualities you have and your beauty, which I have yet to see, but I am sure it is exquisite, are all things any man wants. If he does not see all that you have to offer he may not be worth your time. Then again I do not know the circumstances that surround your obvious heartache but I will lend a listening ear, perhaps even a shoulder to lean on should you need it.
 
 
Stay safe,
 
 
Alec McDowell. </i>
 

Revision as of 13:47, 17 December 2012